I marvel everyday at the world in which we live. Not sure how we got too many people and too many directions but in my, as you know not so humble, opinion this world is going to hell in a hand basket. I blame everyone but me.
When we boomers we growing up our political leaders were reviled, (Nixon, the early years), or revered, (Kennedy). Nixon looked like a shifty eyed character from Batman or Dick Tracy, call him The Sweat-er. Kennedy looked like a Brooks Brothers ad. Nixon might as well have worn a black hat. Kennedy could have repeated the alphabet and the nation would have collectively gone, "Ahhhhh". He moved this nation with brilliant oratory. He had a purpose. Beat the commies at everything. He said, 'we're going to the moon" and we were, YOU BET YOUR ASS WE ARE. THIS IS AMERICA! He told us to do something for our country not just take. Give back. He started an organization that spreads kindness and caring because it's the human thing to do. He didn't use his position to bully the world, just smack down the oppressors.
Our celebrities were expected to behave. Jerry Lee Lewis had some issues when he married his 13 year old cousin. Sun records didn't want him anymore and other than the gawkers the public was appalled. The Eddie Fisher, Debbie Reynolds, Elizabeth Taylor, Richard Burton affairs were headlines but more along the lines of: SHE IS A WHORE AND HE SHOULD DIE kinda thing instead of, "Charlie Sheen is humping at least two women and does enough cocaine to support Columbia". YAY, let's make him MORE famous. Sorry, Charlie, (titter), you had talent once, great talent. Now you play Charlie Sheen. LOSING.
John Lennon made an observation to a reporter that The Beatles were bigger than Jesus. He didn't say it was his opinion. He said it like he couldn't BELIEVE how people clung to his every word. Then America and parts of the world went berserk and burned those albums that would be worth money now, and denounced him as GODLESS. Then went on to worship him in life and especially death.
And now we revere people who have literally NO talent. Paris Hilton and all Kardashians. Paris is famous because daddy has lots of money, she's hot and she oops had that porn of herself on line. How conceited does one have to be to watch the act after it's over? Really, I don't want to know. I live in the moment. She is paid to attend parties so people can say, "I was at a Party with Paris Hilton". She started carrying that tiny dog in a purse and BAM everyone had to have one. HURL. In the wild, dogs don't live in Louis Vitton. Not sure what spawned the Kardashians but one day there they all were, rich, famous, dating the NBA and now they are???? still don't know.
Our leaders are now idiots who play, "am not, are too" better than most three year olds. They CAN'T lose. It's all about them.
WE, our party, has the nations best interest at heart. We don't actually say anything because we like sound bites. We work on them in front of a mirror for the many camera opportunities we manipulate. When we stand on the house floor, we all sound like southern preachers or lawyers arguing the case of our lives. Still, we accomplish nothing because we LOVE the sound of our own voices and if we solved problems, we could not hear ourselves all the time. DAMN IT. We did that entire yelling at the Big Three episode. Weren't we impressive? We acted indignant and told them how greedy they are. Ta da!
We delved into steroid use in baseball. That was a problem that was bad for AMERICAN CHILDREN. They might take steroids! So what if some of them don't have food.
When boomers became hippies, we said, "no thank you, we don't care to die in a war that serves no purpose". Our elders said, "you don't understand, it's the domino theory. The commies are going to rule the world by taking over one nation at a time." And we said, "wouldn't the second most powerful nation on earth start it's domination somewhere else? Say, Europe or America? Why would they start in Viet Nam?" Of course there was no answer. We were too chicken to go kill commies that's how they saw the generation they raised. Of course we all now know that we wanted to free the Vietnamese people so they could live here and find they really weren't all that welcome. But we have beautiful nails.
Now we want to have a war all the time. We make up reasons to go to war. Look, weapons of mass destruction. The inspectors on the ground said, no, we don't think so. And we said, BULLSHIT, we need to WAR. We now have the longest war of our history, I think, and some of the time I don't remember we are even having one. How wrong is that?
OK, now it's my world and here is what we are going to do.
I am sending our military to help those people in Africa who are literally victims of genocide, which we swore we would never tolerate again, and tyranny of mass proportions. Who is helping them now? George Clooney, Brad and Angelina. How screwed up is that? Thank you rich, famous, gorgeous people but really, let the military kill those tyrants and then you guys can be Ambassadors. I realize that we can't exploit these Africans, they have no oil or minerals of value but still I feel they have a right to live without being maimed, raped and having to watch their children die from disease and starvation. You guys in the middle east. If you don't know how to be a military by now, well, let's just say....DUH.
NO ONE IS FAMOUS WITHOUT TALENT. Music will be based on audio, not video. Sorry. Sick of that. Beyonce, Christina, Pink, (I love you by the way, you don't need no hootchie coo), Rhianna, Lady Gag a, Madonna etc. YOU ARE NOT STRIPPERS OR PORN STARS. You are supposed to be musicians. And on a personal note, no pun intended, it is not necessary to hit every note in your range at the end of every phrase. As Saliari is credited with saying, "TOO MANY NOTES".
FAMOUS MALE SINGERS: There will be a limit to the number of dancers on stage with you. Booty shaking is not an art. You will not sing of bitches and ho's unless you sing of pricks and assholes. Pull up your pants. I don't care that Calvin Klein sponsors your tour. RAPPERS, please, I can't appreciate your art if I can't understand a word you are saying. I understand that baby got back and it's gettin' hot in here so take off all your clothes. Not seeing the social value there, yaunnerstanwhatIsayin'? Let me understand your poetry and maybe then I won't turn off the TV every time I see you.
CORPORATE AMERICA: You will be receiving separate instructions. There aren't enough servers on earth to hold the information you are going to need to retain. Let me sum it up. Greed doesn't pay anymore. Now, in the interim, prior to your new regulations, I want a report that pinpoints the jobs created by tax breaks, the physical locations of those jobs and what they pay. A personal financial statement form the 5 top executives of each of the Fortune 500 companies, a definition of all perks and benefits and an equal number of financial statements from random, vested employees of 10 years tenure and their benefits package. Please add to those packages detailed job descriptions of all the positions in the study. That should keep your minions busy for a while. Oh, and there will be audits. Lots and lots and lots of audits.
DRUGS ARE LEGAL. Marijuana will be considered an adult substance, taxed and regulated. We will grow our own pot and process, package and ship to our and other nations. LOOK, I just created an industry with jobs in America.
HARDER DRUGS. You need to see your doctor. Tell him/her you want to be an addict and they will dispense you clean, correct amounts of your preferred substance. It will be expensive but not as expensive as it is now and you will not have to hang out in those alleys.
Men are not allowed to have a say in abortion. If you don't want the unborn to suffer, keep your sperm to yourself.
Women you are allowed to have one, "I'm pregnant and don't know what to do, he left me that bastard" episode where you will receive help. After that it is on you.
FEDERAL GOVERNMENT: You have six months to learn to run a nation that benefits all the citizens with no one segment getting more than their fair share. Failing this heresthedeal:
I will draw that invisible line down the nation like the backseat of your childhood car. Republicans you get the right half. Democrats you get the left. Independents you get a tiny strip in the middle but you can travel between the reds and the blues. Reds and Blues you stay put. Do not cross that line. Don't look at each other, don't touch each other don't even think each other's name.
Don't make me pull this nation over,
You're so welcome,
Lillybell Blues
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