Have you ever loved someone you knew was bad for you? Have you ever loved someone you knew would rip your heart out, stomp on it and then tell you why it is all your fault? Have you ever loved someone you believed to your bones loved you back and then got blind sided by an unexpected farewell? Me too. Which one? All of the above.
I have been witness to more heartache than I have experienced. Maybe. I have that empathetic, sympathetic must help you kind of urge when I see heartache. I just want to tell you that you will survive even as your soul is curling into a ball and causing you to question every thing you hold dear. Don't worry, it isn't you. You are fine. If you made mistakes, we all do. If they made mistakes, we all do.
Some times you have to recognize that this person you love is causing you pain. This person you love does not love you back. Even if they say they do. When it comes to love actions speak much louder than words. This is not a time to make drastic changes to yourself with a wish of happily ever after. This is a time to understand that no matter how much you want them to love you they simply don't. This is a time to love yourself and know there is nothing wrong with you. You cannot make someone love you. Love is a reaction between two people.
While you are falling in love it is important to watch the person interact with other people. How do they treat friends? Family? Strangers? Eventually, once the new wears off, this person will treat you like everyone else. Are they considerate? Are they self absorbed? They will always be that way. Are they aware of need? Are they blind to the fact that there is suffering? They will always be that way. Are they more concerned about what people think than what is good for your relationship? They will always be that way. Are they willing to compromise or insist on their on desires? They will always be that way.
On some level you will always love this person and they will always love you. You will not be in love. You will have great memories and take away lessons for a lifetime. No love is wasted. No love comes without sorrow. Sometimes you can hang on and work very hard together and your union is stronger. That takes willingness on both parts. Sometimes you can't because the fire is out. The coals are ash. There is no more love to burn. One cannot rub one stick together and get a spark.
Have faith. You will find that person. The one that stops your breath for just a moment. The one makes you sparkle a little in their presence. The one that makes you go, whew, at least I don't have to deal with that drama anymore.
When you find this love remember how special it is. Remember it is a two way street. Remember there is more to love that being loved. Be worthy of love and and give it honestly. That's a bond. That's respect. That's love.
When it hurts it is not love.
You're Welcome and I love you,
Lillybell Blues
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