Those of you who know me personally know that I have a deep seated dislike for most things GOP. I didn't used to feel this way until the nation elected, in my opinion, the worst president of my lifetime, George W. Bush. Living in Texas all my life I was aware that the man couldn't get out of a box without directions, advisers and help. I survived eight years of the man's misdirection of the nation. Then I found Obama and thought that he would change Washington. He hasn't. It is still just a sandbox that our "leaders" play in and we are the grains of sand lost in the game.
Logically I know that politics is an ugly, mean game. A nasty event full of lies, half truths and pure bullshit. This election is different. The GOP has God. The GOP believes in Jesus. The GOP wants us all to live under their moral leadership. I have some questions. Although Jesus doesn't talk to me, I am taking his side in this composition.
Hard for some of you to believe I know, but I did grow up in a church. A Methodist Church. The Methodists believe that God, Jesus Christ and The Holy Spirit are one. The Trinity. They also believe that during football season the sermon should over a little sooner so everyone gets home in time for kick off. It's very pragmatic that way. Methodists are mostly laid back, sing pretty hymns, anthems and talk about the goodness of the faith, kind of people. The God and Jesus that I hear the GOP talk about was never mentioned in my church home.
In all fairness, I do not attend a church now and haven't since my family experienced hypocrisy of the worst kind from Christians at our church. I took it very personally and have held my beliefs and spirituality pretty much to myself unless asked or appalled. The Lord and I have not always had a good relationship. However, I refuse to sit by and let people high jack God for political gain. The Jesus I read and learned about would be in Washington having a hissy fit. He would be on the campaign trail having a "WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?" rally.
Here is how I see it.
Mortals are running around taking about God calling them to lead the nation. To teach God and intelligent design in school. They want to make the nation more Christian. They are blaming disasters on gay people. Really? The thing that makes my head spin is people buy that. People, good Christian people want others to starve and die because they don't have the correct papers, citizenship or insurance. Good Christian people want gays to change so they are not an abomination before God. Really? People want to shove Jesus down your throat, His way or the highway, Really? That is not the, "Jesus Loves Me This I Know", Jesus. This Jesus and this God are some sort of marketing tool. I don't think God likes that very much. But, hey, what do I know?
I know that Jesus wasn't picky about who he healed or saved or forgave. I know that Jesus preached love and equality. I know that Jesus fed the multitudes, not just the rich and powerful. I know that Jesus threw the money changers out of the Temple. I know that Jesus defied his government and his Faith. Jesus was a Jew, not a Christian. Jesus upset the leaders and the elders and the hierarchy of the Temple. Jesus was a rabble rouser. Jesus died for His faith and teachings.
So, let's imagine what Jesus would say if he were in a Tea Party or GOP debate. I don't think He would appreciate the booing of the gay soldier. I think Jesus might have called a few hecklers out on that one. Judge not being one of his favorite sayings. And leaving people to die because they don't have insurance. First, of course, the concept of insurance might have to be explained to the Entity who laid hands on lepers to heal them. For free. I think Jesus would say, "you are not caring for My children because they don't have a card?" I see thunder and lightning right about now.
Building a HUGE fence to keep out the "unwanted". I think Jesus would take the lead on this discussion. "Excuse me? Is there a problem with My children south of the United States of, what again? America?" "Are you suggesting that a family seeking freedom and a better life for their children are of no VALUE?" I kinda of see Jesus getting a little upset by now. I can imagine he might smite a few folks here and there.
Educating the children of undocumented workers. I think Jesus might raise his hand and simply say, "I didn't mean make the little children suffer. I was telling the adults to get out of the way so I could teach the children. Hello? have you people read nothing of what has been written about the plight of mankind? Suffer the little children to come before me meant simply, 'bring them here', mercy".
Taxes. I picture Jesus rolling his eyes. A lot. I imagine that Jesus would get kind of bored and explain that taxes need to be FAIR. That if one must have money, render unto _____ what is _____'s. Then he would take the IRS and smite the entire bunch. Jesus wasn't a big fan of money or taxes or cheaters. He was a very spiritual man concerned about the soul, not the pocket book.
Gays, abortion, crime, hate, racism, sexism, fear mongering and those nebulous subjects I think Jesus would say. "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you". He would probably have to explain this statement to the audience, considering they celebrate dying and boo gay soldiers and executing people by lethal injection. "Vengeance is MINE", The Lord would say. "Judge not lest ye be judged". "Thou shalt not take the name of the Lord in vain, damn it".
This is where He would explain that using His name to tell people how to think and to oppress people is wrong. I think the arena or venue at this point might shake a little just for effect. Jesus would weep. Jesus would sit in wonder at how his teachings of loving your fellow man, honoring your God and caring for mankind had wrought this.
I think Jesus would conclude by saying. "The government is supposed to help the citizens, not oppress, not destroy, not ruin. Your purpose on this earth is to leave something good. The government's job is to give a place to do that. This society is teetering, please love one another before you destroy what was given to you by The Divine."
This time Jesus wouldn't even say, "Father, forgive them. They do know not what they do".
Yes, they do. Stop spreading hate. Stop spreading fear. Start talking MANKIND not one man. No one who walks this earth is perfect nor flawless nor without sin.
Stop casting stones.
Lillybell Blues
Friday, September 30, 2011
Monday, September 26, 2011
TRIPPIN'....my vacation in Colodrado
Thank you Colorado for being breath taking. Thank for having a million different vistas. Thank you for inspiring the song, "America The Beautiful". Thank you for clean air and blue skies. I have never seen you more beautifully dressed than in your fall foliage. It was actual shock and awe, in a good way. Around every bend was a brighter yellow, an unexpected red, a clear stream, nature in all Her glory. Colorado is what we should all see every single day. God's work is so evident in the mountains. Of course it is there in the plains as well. I think maybe He just got tired. I feel renewed and full of spirit. I also made some observations along the way.
PEOPLE ARE STRANGE. Indeed. It was my experience that in person, face to face, people were lovely and friendly or schizophrenic. In their cars and on the phone, they were rude, and mean. Just sayin'.
AMERICA IS IN DEEP TROUBLE. Worse than I thought. The poverty is some areas reminded me of back roads Kentucky, circa 1950.
THE STATE OF NEW MEXICO HAS NO IDEA HOW TO DO ROAD CONSTRUCTION. Really. Not my first experience with "detours" in New Mexico.
THE WORLD IS LOSING IT'S COLLECTIVE MIND. So many corroborating stories here.
Let me start with:
PEOPLE ARE STRANGE. This includes me. I hate every cell phone on earth but mine and I hate my own from time to time. People talk on their phones anytime, anywhere for any reason. Remember when you couldn't do that? Remember when you had to FIND a phone to talk to anyone? It was frustrating, rarely, but so much more peaceful. You cannot take a peaceful walk through anywhere without someone on their phone talking about.....nothing. People saying FUCK really loud. OK, that was me, but still, I was cursing at my phone. Ringing, chiming, OR not working when I wanted it to, signal, no signal. Grrrrr. We were a much less aggressive society prior to all this connectivity.
Barreling through Amarillo a little blond was so concerned about her texting that driving became a non issue to her. Oops, wrong lane, oops, slowing down, oops going real fast now, oops, cannot find the : and the ) to make a smiling face....HEY BLONDIE, DRIVE or get out off the way.
RV drivers are the most clueless, selfish people on the road. They are driving a house, pulling a car and sometimes a trailer full of ATVs or dirt bikes or the rest of the children. How nice for you that you are seeing the mountains at 2 miles per hour and stopping before every curve.....that's every few feet. The rest of us are tired of riding our brakes. MOVE OVER anytime you have the chance and let us car and SUV people get in front of you. I saw beauty to the right of me, beauty to the left of me and PACE ARROW in my face for miles and miles.
Not that I am selfish, OK, yes, I am. When it comes to the rare vacation I get to take I want the view, not the window of an RV and the exhaust. The professional truck drivers were very polite, moved over and gave the lookie loos a chance to do just that. Thank you transportation industry.
In person, especially if you are spending money, people are friendly and want to know where you are from, how your trip is so far, welcome to our little town. When you don't want to drop a thousand dollars on a lovely piece of art, jewelry, clothing, or trinket they act you have little taste or class. A dude tried very hard to sell me a knee length sheepskin coat. It was beautiful, soft leather, fleece lined and hotter than hell. "I live in Texas", I explained as he offered to get me a different size and ship it, no sales tax. "Thank you, but I couldn't wear this in Texas, I need to be this warm like a need another chin". I believed he actually harrumphed at me.
AMERICA IS IN DEEP TROUBLE. I knew that the economy was bad but I really had no idea until I saw poverty like I don't remember since being a child. The trip to Kentucky in my childhood was full of tiny, dying towns. West Texas and eastern New Mexico are dying. There are boarded up businesses everywhere. They are also Wal-Marts and Family Dollar stores every few towns that are packed. The Liquor Business along with Tattooing and XXX rated everything seem to be thriving. I saw cars duct taped and bungee corded together following million dollar RVs. I saw some dilapidated homes FULL of people with cars in the driveway with Bush/Cheney bumper stickers. Wonder how they feel now? I saw more homeless people hitch hiking since the 1970s when it was hip to hitch across America. These people didn't look hip. They looked sick and dying.
The drought is unbelievable. I know earth gets dry and cracked but I certainly know now why my pool looks like a sand pit some days. Nothing to hold the earth. No deeply rooted plants. Hello, dust bowl. I saw farmers plowing red dry dust. I saw trailers full of skinny cows being taken somewhere. Either to market or to another spot to graze.
I overhead a conversation between a girl, around 9 or 10, and her daddy at a diner. Small town, everybody knew everybody kind of place. I could see the dad from where I sat and the girls face in a mirror. They talked to the waitress. All smiles and cheerful. They made careful selections from the menu. The waitress brought their lunch and asked the dad if he's had any luck. "No", he replied. "Daddy's home everyday", said the little girl like she was thrilled. The dad looked like he might cry. It broke my heart. He spent lunch telling his little girl to say, "please and thank you to the waitress". He asked her about school. They talked about mommy working. He asked her to brush her hair out of her face and take her elbows off the table while they ate. The little girl wanted ice cream and then go get a lollipop at the store next door. "No, honey, one or the other". "Ice cream", she wisely decided. Such a good dad unable to support his child financially. I could see in his face how much he wanted to support his child, unlike so many who do not care, and was unable to find work. Welcome to the New America.
THE STATE OF NEW MEXICO CANNOT BUILD HIGHWAYS. I have learned this lesson before. A long time a go I was riding through New Mexico on a state highway when we saw the "DETOUR" sign. No biggie. We followed the 4,000 signs through the detour, gravel roads, dirt roads, empty farm fields for what seemed like an hour and finally got back to the state highway. We were approximately 2 miles from where we started the detour.
Heading to Chama from Aztec, Current and I were on a state highway. Suddenly there were signs, "One Lane Road Ahead". Uh oh, I had a flashback of the never ending detour. We were stopped by a highway worker. The line of cars grew like a snake behind us. We waited forever. People got out of their cars, strolled up and down the shoulder, walked their dogs, talked to the person holding the "STOP" sign. No traffic moving either direction. This is NUTS! was all I could think. If there is one lane why isn't the traffic moving in the opposite direction? Finally after 30 minutes or so the traffic started passing, very slowly. Sixty cars maybe. The people looked livid and relieved alternately. The traffic stopped passing and everyone climbed back in their cars and started their engines. Nothing. No movement. Sitting. Finally a white pick up comes to the front of the line of cars to lead us through the construction. At twenty miles an hour. One lane. That was the good part. I see the sign, "Pavement Ends". Say what? The last 1,000 feet of the construction was on chewed up asphalt. Both sides of the road. NO LANES. Great planning. We finally got through the mess and got to the T in the road, Chama, right. Pagosa Springs, left. "Colorado", I said, "I won't survive another New Mexico construction project". We made a left into a small town. There was one of those yellow diamond signs that have deer, elk, bear, horseback riders, etc., on them to alert you as to what might appear in your path. This sign was a person walking with "SLOW" written under the figure. "No shit", bye bye New Mexico.
THE WORLD IS LOSING IT'S COLLECTIVE MIND. I am not sure where to begin here. Guess I will hop across the pond to Jolly Ole England. Saw a news story about a cage fighting club somewhere in England. Very popular place, sold out at $40.00 a person. Tarty, half dressed ring girls. Drooling, drinking crowd. The competitors? Eight year old boys. Eight. Cage fighting. It's legal. Yay! The reporter interviewed one of the boy's mother. "Oh, 'e likes it. 'e's good at it so I don't really mind". The child is eight years old! He would like to drive a fire truck too, or fly a plane, or kill puppies. Good grief.
The news out of Albuquerque was all about ATM robberies. A young man had a gun held to his head for $60.00. Two women attacked an 80 year old lady at a walk up ATM with a knife. They threatened to, "ruin your face, lady" if she didn't hand over her money, purse, and ATM card. The police spokesperson advice to the public: do not go to an ATM alone, do not go to a walk up ATM, do not go to an ATM at night, if your only option is a walk up ATM, leave your purse and valuables in the car. How about if we make it harder for the criminals and take the onus off the victims for a while?
The common thread? Hoodies, sunglasses and hats pulled down low. How about we make those illegal in public? Show your face, smile at all the cameras and make crime harder to commit. That would infringe on people's rights. NO, that would infringe on criminal's rights. The public pays the price for everything. Let's start making the criminals sweat. Guns are out of control BUT we can control other things. I can't smoke in public, you can't hide your face. Welcome to the New America.
I also learned that America will be giving used Humvees and other all terrain vehicles to the states to patrol the border. The southern states of course. We don't fear Canada. Also, a federally mandated, unfunded requirement of the states is; common street signs, all caps, all the same color. New Mexico cannot afford this. What is their state house doing? Redistricting, of course. Citizens and their needs don't matter, silly federal mandates, not important. Getting re-elected and having control is all that matters.
In every small town I stopped in I saw notices posted for benefits. Benefits for sick people, homeless families, people who lost everything in a fire, or lost homes due to default on loans. Small town people helping their neighbors. That gave me hope. That's America.
There is nothing like getting out of your environment to open your mind. Look around and see how fortunate some people are and how sad and heartbreaking others appear. Take in an entire new horizon. Love every minute of what you see. Marvel at the beauty of nature and, of course, how nice some hotels are. The strange thing that always happens, no matter where you go, no matter what you see and experience, there IS no place like home. Home, where you are comfortable all the time, where you know where everything is, where you are surrounded by your own taste and style. Your own bed. Ahhhhhh.
Yours in peace and relaxation,
LBB
PEOPLE ARE STRANGE. Indeed. It was my experience that in person, face to face, people were lovely and friendly or schizophrenic. In their cars and on the phone, they were rude, and mean. Just sayin'.
AMERICA IS IN DEEP TROUBLE. Worse than I thought. The poverty is some areas reminded me of back roads Kentucky, circa 1950.
THE STATE OF NEW MEXICO HAS NO IDEA HOW TO DO ROAD CONSTRUCTION. Really. Not my first experience with "detours" in New Mexico.
THE WORLD IS LOSING IT'S COLLECTIVE MIND. So many corroborating stories here.
Let me start with:
PEOPLE ARE STRANGE. This includes me. I hate every cell phone on earth but mine and I hate my own from time to time. People talk on their phones anytime, anywhere for any reason. Remember when you couldn't do that? Remember when you had to FIND a phone to talk to anyone? It was frustrating, rarely, but so much more peaceful. You cannot take a peaceful walk through anywhere without someone on their phone talking about.....nothing. People saying FUCK really loud. OK, that was me, but still, I was cursing at my phone. Ringing, chiming, OR not working when I wanted it to, signal, no signal. Grrrrr. We were a much less aggressive society prior to all this connectivity.
Barreling through Amarillo a little blond was so concerned about her texting that driving became a non issue to her. Oops, wrong lane, oops, slowing down, oops going real fast now, oops, cannot find the : and the ) to make a smiling face....HEY BLONDIE, DRIVE or get out off the way.
RV drivers are the most clueless, selfish people on the road. They are driving a house, pulling a car and sometimes a trailer full of ATVs or dirt bikes or the rest of the children. How nice for you that you are seeing the mountains at 2 miles per hour and stopping before every curve.....that's every few feet. The rest of us are tired of riding our brakes. MOVE OVER anytime you have the chance and let us car and SUV people get in front of you. I saw beauty to the right of me, beauty to the left of me and PACE ARROW in my face for miles and miles.
Not that I am selfish, OK, yes, I am. When it comes to the rare vacation I get to take I want the view, not the window of an RV and the exhaust. The professional truck drivers were very polite, moved over and gave the lookie loos a chance to do just that. Thank you transportation industry.
In person, especially if you are spending money, people are friendly and want to know where you are from, how your trip is so far, welcome to our little town. When you don't want to drop a thousand dollars on a lovely piece of art, jewelry, clothing, or trinket they act you have little taste or class. A dude tried very hard to sell me a knee length sheepskin coat. It was beautiful, soft leather, fleece lined and hotter than hell. "I live in Texas", I explained as he offered to get me a different size and ship it, no sales tax. "Thank you, but I couldn't wear this in Texas, I need to be this warm like a need another chin". I believed he actually harrumphed at me.
AMERICA IS IN DEEP TROUBLE. I knew that the economy was bad but I really had no idea until I saw poverty like I don't remember since being a child. The trip to Kentucky in my childhood was full of tiny, dying towns. West Texas and eastern New Mexico are dying. There are boarded up businesses everywhere. They are also Wal-Marts and Family Dollar stores every few towns that are packed. The Liquor Business along with Tattooing and XXX rated everything seem to be thriving. I saw cars duct taped and bungee corded together following million dollar RVs. I saw some dilapidated homes FULL of people with cars in the driveway with Bush/Cheney bumper stickers. Wonder how they feel now? I saw more homeless people hitch hiking since the 1970s when it was hip to hitch across America. These people didn't look hip. They looked sick and dying.
The drought is unbelievable. I know earth gets dry and cracked but I certainly know now why my pool looks like a sand pit some days. Nothing to hold the earth. No deeply rooted plants. Hello, dust bowl. I saw farmers plowing red dry dust. I saw trailers full of skinny cows being taken somewhere. Either to market or to another spot to graze.
I overhead a conversation between a girl, around 9 or 10, and her daddy at a diner. Small town, everybody knew everybody kind of place. I could see the dad from where I sat and the girls face in a mirror. They talked to the waitress. All smiles and cheerful. They made careful selections from the menu. The waitress brought their lunch and asked the dad if he's had any luck. "No", he replied. "Daddy's home everyday", said the little girl like she was thrilled. The dad looked like he might cry. It broke my heart. He spent lunch telling his little girl to say, "please and thank you to the waitress". He asked her about school. They talked about mommy working. He asked her to brush her hair out of her face and take her elbows off the table while they ate. The little girl wanted ice cream and then go get a lollipop at the store next door. "No, honey, one or the other". "Ice cream", she wisely decided. Such a good dad unable to support his child financially. I could see in his face how much he wanted to support his child, unlike so many who do not care, and was unable to find work. Welcome to the New America.
THE STATE OF NEW MEXICO CANNOT BUILD HIGHWAYS. I have learned this lesson before. A long time a go I was riding through New Mexico on a state highway when we saw the "DETOUR" sign. No biggie. We followed the 4,000 signs through the detour, gravel roads, dirt roads, empty farm fields for what seemed like an hour and finally got back to the state highway. We were approximately 2 miles from where we started the detour.
Heading to Chama from Aztec, Current and I were on a state highway. Suddenly there were signs, "One Lane Road Ahead". Uh oh, I had a flashback of the never ending detour. We were stopped by a highway worker. The line of cars grew like a snake behind us. We waited forever. People got out of their cars, strolled up and down the shoulder, walked their dogs, talked to the person holding the "STOP" sign. No traffic moving either direction. This is NUTS! was all I could think. If there is one lane why isn't the traffic moving in the opposite direction? Finally after 30 minutes or so the traffic started passing, very slowly. Sixty cars maybe. The people looked livid and relieved alternately. The traffic stopped passing and everyone climbed back in their cars and started their engines. Nothing. No movement. Sitting. Finally a white pick up comes to the front of the line of cars to lead us through the construction. At twenty miles an hour. One lane. That was the good part. I see the sign, "Pavement Ends". Say what? The last 1,000 feet of the construction was on chewed up asphalt. Both sides of the road. NO LANES. Great planning. We finally got through the mess and got to the T in the road, Chama, right. Pagosa Springs, left. "Colorado", I said, "I won't survive another New Mexico construction project". We made a left into a small town. There was one of those yellow diamond signs that have deer, elk, bear, horseback riders, etc., on them to alert you as to what might appear in your path. This sign was a person walking with "SLOW" written under the figure. "No shit", bye bye New Mexico.
THE WORLD IS LOSING IT'S COLLECTIVE MIND. I am not sure where to begin here. Guess I will hop across the pond to Jolly Ole England. Saw a news story about a cage fighting club somewhere in England. Very popular place, sold out at $40.00 a person. Tarty, half dressed ring girls. Drooling, drinking crowd. The competitors? Eight year old boys. Eight. Cage fighting. It's legal. Yay! The reporter interviewed one of the boy's mother. "Oh, 'e likes it. 'e's good at it so I don't really mind". The child is eight years old! He would like to drive a fire truck too, or fly a plane, or kill puppies. Good grief.
The news out of Albuquerque was all about ATM robberies. A young man had a gun held to his head for $60.00. Two women attacked an 80 year old lady at a walk up ATM with a knife. They threatened to, "ruin your face, lady" if she didn't hand over her money, purse, and ATM card. The police spokesperson advice to the public: do not go to an ATM alone, do not go to a walk up ATM, do not go to an ATM at night, if your only option is a walk up ATM, leave your purse and valuables in the car. How about if we make it harder for the criminals and take the onus off the victims for a while?
The common thread? Hoodies, sunglasses and hats pulled down low. How about we make those illegal in public? Show your face, smile at all the cameras and make crime harder to commit. That would infringe on people's rights. NO, that would infringe on criminal's rights. The public pays the price for everything. Let's start making the criminals sweat. Guns are out of control BUT we can control other things. I can't smoke in public, you can't hide your face. Welcome to the New America.
I also learned that America will be giving used Humvees and other all terrain vehicles to the states to patrol the border. The southern states of course. We don't fear Canada. Also, a federally mandated, unfunded requirement of the states is; common street signs, all caps, all the same color. New Mexico cannot afford this. What is their state house doing? Redistricting, of course. Citizens and their needs don't matter, silly federal mandates, not important. Getting re-elected and having control is all that matters.
In every small town I stopped in I saw notices posted for benefits. Benefits for sick people, homeless families, people who lost everything in a fire, or lost homes due to default on loans. Small town people helping their neighbors. That gave me hope. That's America.
There is nothing like getting out of your environment to open your mind. Look around and see how fortunate some people are and how sad and heartbreaking others appear. Take in an entire new horizon. Love every minute of what you see. Marvel at the beauty of nature and, of course, how nice some hotels are. The strange thing that always happens, no matter where you go, no matter what you see and experience, there IS no place like home. Home, where you are comfortable all the time, where you know where everything is, where you are surrounded by your own taste and style. Your own bed. Ahhhhhh.
Yours in peace and relaxation,
LBB
Saturday, September 24, 2011
JOIN LILLYBELL BLUES....on the blog
I've had some questions about how to join Lillybell Blues....look to the right. It says "join this site". Click there, follow the instructions provided by Google. Thanks for reading!
Love,
LBB.
Love,
LBB.
Tuesday, September 13, 2011
FUNNY ON DEMAND
My friend, Shaneequa, and I have a saying, "be funny". It's not a request so much as a demand. BE FUNNY. We save this demand for road trips usually. By hour three one of us is ready for the other to be hysterically funny so we can laugh so hard we cannot see. No one ever said, "Don't Laugh and Drive".
Somehow we manage. We have laughed at everything and at nothing. There is nothing like laughing with your friend. We laugh at everything appropriate and inappropriate. We laugh at things we said or did once upon a time. "remember when...." and we are already in full guffaw.
When Shaneequa's father died very unexpectedly I went with her to a mall to pick out a dress for her mom to wear to the funeral. Her mom was too upset to shop and Shaneequa needed to get away from the ordeal for a while. Her dad was a healthy man whose heart gave out. He was gone in minutes. It was shocking and awful and surreal. As we walked through the mall she made the comment that her dad had always gone there to walk for his health. I paused, I didn't want to say it....but I did. "Well, that obviously didn't work". We were quiet for a nano second, then we laughed. It was inappropriate but brought that moment of lightness when the weight was so heavy.
One day Shaneequa and I were driving through Dripping Springs and we saw a business sign we have seen dozens of times, "Twin Liquors". We lost it. Twin Lickers, we both knew at the same time. I don't think we said anything for the rest of the drive. One Twin Lickers sent us on a peal of laughter all the way to our destination.
There is something so satisfying about being unable to breathe because you are laughing so hard. It's a gift. The ability to laugh not to make someone laugh. The ability to let it all go and howl because of something incredibly silly.
One afternoon Shaneequa and I had a heart to heart talk about God and being spiritual. We talked about getting older and life having more meaning and death being a bit more real at this stage of life. We were patting ourselves on the back for being such good people in general. Next thing we knew we were being the snarkiest two women on earth. I sang a phrase from an old hymn, "and He walks with me and He talks with me....", (or, "Andy walks with me Andy talks wtih me"). Shaneequa and I lost it. We laughed forever. She reminded me that hymn had been sung at her father's funeral. It would be played at her mother's funeral too. NO, by the time she lost her mom we both knew we would not survive the funeral, sing that hymn and not be admitted to a hospital for the less than normal. Even now we just hum a few bars and hilarity erupts.
My oldest friend, (not that she is old, I have known her the longest), Kallie, and I have phrases from childhood that still make us roll with laughter. They aren't funny unless you were there. "Never in a million french fries" and "let's 'vide 'em", make us giggle to this day. Left over childhood hilarity.
I have known people that never seem to laugh. It's like they have no sense of humor or they simply do not know how to laugh, or snicker, or giggle or even titter. I feel bad for them. I cannot imagine not laughing as much as possible.
I love a good unexpected one liner. They are really little gifts of momentary lightness. I was talking to a friend one day about names. I always hated mine. Something about having the same first name as approximately one third of your generation makes you feel invisible. I began my whine about being named Linda...with a boring middle name too...he didn't miss a beat. "Never a borrower nor a Linda be". I laugh every time I think about that.
Do you remember the first time you thought something was funny? Grown up funny not knock, knock funny? I do. I remember where I was, who said it and how clever I thought it was AND how clever I thought I was because I thought the joke was funny.
What does a whore do on her vacation? Spends her fuckin' money.
I KNOW!
LBB
Somehow we manage. We have laughed at everything and at nothing. There is nothing like laughing with your friend. We laugh at everything appropriate and inappropriate. We laugh at things we said or did once upon a time. "remember when...." and we are already in full guffaw.
When Shaneequa's father died very unexpectedly I went with her to a mall to pick out a dress for her mom to wear to the funeral. Her mom was too upset to shop and Shaneequa needed to get away from the ordeal for a while. Her dad was a healthy man whose heart gave out. He was gone in minutes. It was shocking and awful and surreal. As we walked through the mall she made the comment that her dad had always gone there to walk for his health. I paused, I didn't want to say it....but I did. "Well, that obviously didn't work". We were quiet for a nano second, then we laughed. It was inappropriate but brought that moment of lightness when the weight was so heavy.
One day Shaneequa and I were driving through Dripping Springs and we saw a business sign we have seen dozens of times, "Twin Liquors". We lost it. Twin Lickers, we both knew at the same time. I don't think we said anything for the rest of the drive. One Twin Lickers sent us on a peal of laughter all the way to our destination.
There is something so satisfying about being unable to breathe because you are laughing so hard. It's a gift. The ability to laugh not to make someone laugh. The ability to let it all go and howl because of something incredibly silly.
One afternoon Shaneequa and I had a heart to heart talk about God and being spiritual. We talked about getting older and life having more meaning and death being a bit more real at this stage of life. We were patting ourselves on the back for being such good people in general. Next thing we knew we were being the snarkiest two women on earth. I sang a phrase from an old hymn, "and He walks with me and He talks with me....", (or, "Andy walks with me Andy talks wtih me"). Shaneequa and I lost it. We laughed forever. She reminded me that hymn had been sung at her father's funeral. It would be played at her mother's funeral too. NO, by the time she lost her mom we both knew we would not survive the funeral, sing that hymn and not be admitted to a hospital for the less than normal. Even now we just hum a few bars and hilarity erupts.
My oldest friend, (not that she is old, I have known her the longest), Kallie, and I have phrases from childhood that still make us roll with laughter. They aren't funny unless you were there. "Never in a million french fries" and "let's 'vide 'em", make us giggle to this day. Left over childhood hilarity.
I have known people that never seem to laugh. It's like they have no sense of humor or they simply do not know how to laugh, or snicker, or giggle or even titter. I feel bad for them. I cannot imagine not laughing as much as possible.
I love a good unexpected one liner. They are really little gifts of momentary lightness. I was talking to a friend one day about names. I always hated mine. Something about having the same first name as approximately one third of your generation makes you feel invisible. I began my whine about being named Linda...with a boring middle name too...he didn't miss a beat. "Never a borrower nor a Linda be". I laugh every time I think about that.
Do you remember the first time you thought something was funny? Grown up funny not knock, knock funny? I do. I remember where I was, who said it and how clever I thought it was AND how clever I thought I was because I thought the joke was funny.
What does a whore do on her vacation? Spends her fuckin' money.
I KNOW!
LBB
WHERE DO WE LIVE?
People have asked me to be funny and not angry when I sit here and engage in free form ranting. Sorry, you will disappointed again today. Humor requires a little inspiration. Dismay comes on it's own.
Listening to the Tea Party debates and on the Republican debates I can only assume that this is not America anymore. This is some form of CRAZY LAND formerly known as America. Who the hell are these Tea Party people who cheer death and think if you don't hold private medical insurance you should die? The same people who froth at the mouth about DEATH PANELS and abortion applaud the State of Texas for killing 234 people, some guilty some not so much. They cheered last night at the thought of people being turned away from emergency medical care. THIS IS THE BASE OF THE GOP.....they remind me of Nazis.
My theory, and of course like my father before me I am always correct, these nut jobs are the former members of the John Birch society, The Klan, basic haters because they were raised that way or have WAY TOO MUCH white in them. How on earth did we get here? Are white people still pissed off that people come in different colors? Are people so evil and hateful that letting others die because they can't afford insurance is reason to cheer? This is not America.
We make my head hurt. We are so wrapped up in our tiny, little, meaningless lives we cannot see beyond the edge of ME. When did that happen? Trust me, honey, we are all going to die and the world will carry on without us. There is not one among us so damn important or intelligent that the world will collapse without us. Life, or whatever this is, carries on and we are merely dust.
These people who cling to GOD and GUNS, an odd juxtaposition, are the poster children for division and hate. MONEY, important. PEOPLE, collateral damage. GOD loves hard working, well to do, heterosexual white people. GOD hates every thing and every one else. The worship of self under the pretense of worshipping GOD is one of those no-nos, isn't it? Aren't we supposed to love our fellow man? Do unto others? Imagine what those Tea Party people will be receiving in return.
I watched the audience last night when the cameras were not trained on all the nice hair cuts and Stepford eyes. Where did these people come from? I used to think the idea that aliens walked among us was silly. Now I am not so sure. These people cannot have been raised in a free country by any standard. They are the Party of NO to You cause it's all about ME.
God bless the country formerly known as America.
LBB
Listening to the Tea Party debates and on the Republican debates I can only assume that this is not America anymore. This is some form of CRAZY LAND formerly known as America. Who the hell are these Tea Party people who cheer death and think if you don't hold private medical insurance you should die? The same people who froth at the mouth about DEATH PANELS and abortion applaud the State of Texas for killing 234 people, some guilty some not so much. They cheered last night at the thought of people being turned away from emergency medical care. THIS IS THE BASE OF THE GOP.....they remind me of Nazis.
My theory, and of course like my father before me I am always correct, these nut jobs are the former members of the John Birch society, The Klan, basic haters because they were raised that way or have WAY TOO MUCH white in them. How on earth did we get here? Are white people still pissed off that people come in different colors? Are people so evil and hateful that letting others die because they can't afford insurance is reason to cheer? This is not America.
We make my head hurt. We are so wrapped up in our tiny, little, meaningless lives we cannot see beyond the edge of ME. When did that happen? Trust me, honey, we are all going to die and the world will carry on without us. There is not one among us so damn important or intelligent that the world will collapse without us. Life, or whatever this is, carries on and we are merely dust.
These people who cling to GOD and GUNS, an odd juxtaposition, are the poster children for division and hate. MONEY, important. PEOPLE, collateral damage. GOD loves hard working, well to do, heterosexual white people. GOD hates every thing and every one else. The worship of self under the pretense of worshipping GOD is one of those no-nos, isn't it? Aren't we supposed to love our fellow man? Do unto others? Imagine what those Tea Party people will be receiving in return.
I watched the audience last night when the cameras were not trained on all the nice hair cuts and Stepford eyes. Where did these people come from? I used to think the idea that aliens walked among us was silly. Now I am not so sure. These people cannot have been raised in a free country by any standard. They are the Party of NO to You cause it's all about ME.
God bless the country formerly known as America.
LBB
Saturday, September 10, 2011
TEA PARTIES AND WOMANHOOD
My grandmother Leachman longed for me to be a little lady. My mother had friends who were concerned that we daughters were not going to be proper when we grew up if we didn't engage in several appropriate activities for young ladies. One of the things these women had in common was they thought it necessary to teach girls how to behave at a Tea. How to pour and properly sip. How to eat little pastries served with tea. Polite conversation and Junior League preparedness.
By the time I was actually old enough to go to Teas it was evident I was not going to be a Deb. The parties I attended involved Boones Farm cheap, cheap wine and anything we could roll. AND we didn't really have rules to follow. We appreciated it if no one lipped the joint but we were not emphatic. It was also appreciated when someone wiped off the top of the bottle before passing. Appropriate conversation involved whatever was "far out man" and appropriate dress was being mostly covered.
A lot of change in one generation. Thank heavens I didn't have to do the Teas...I just can't see myself too concerned about Muffi's daffodils or Trudie's little Yorkie. One day a friend and I went on an estate sale crawl through the University Park areas of Dallas. We arrived at one home with several Delta Delta Delta items for sale and things too expensive for me new much less "pre owned". The woman running the sale was on her cell when my friend and I arrived. I swear the conversation from our ended sounded liked this,
"Muffi...faaaabulous news, we got 12 hundred for the tapestry....I KNOW, it IS faaaaabulous....bye sweetie" this was of course followed by an air kiss. I had to leave before I lost my faaaaabulous breakfast.
I walk through Needless Markup, sorry Mr. Marcus, on my way to The Mall where the stores are that I can afford. I see women in Neiman's that leave my mouth open. Where do they get all that money for stuff? I cannot conceive of paying in excess of a thousand dollars for something I will wear, carry as a purse or put on my feet. These woman MUST be wearing, carrying, sporting, in excess of 30 thousand dollars plus, counting some of the jewelry. I would walk with an armed guard. Whoa, Nellie....I gasp when I pause to look at a price tag.
I see women at the Galleria that are like me and those there to shop at Saks. I went into Saks one day. They don't make clothes that fit me. I am not that oddly shaped. I just don't look like a super model. Maybe a slightly pregnant, plus size, foot model. Good grief a size eight in Saks is like a size minus 40 at Kohl's. HUGE area for boobs, no waist and a little butt. Hello? Who shops here? Surgically altered and incredibly blessed women. I was there for the shoe sale. Feet sizes are within a size no matter what. Shoes on sale at Saks are shoes that I would have to think about buying on lay away for a year. On sale for 700 dollars. No, that is my winter wardrobe....for a couple of years. Or maybe all my coats combined. 700 dollars does not go on your feet all at once. That is 350 a foot. On sale. Mercy.
I was driving down Midway one day. I saw the most beautiful blue Chrysler. I had never seen a car that color before. It was actually Midnight Blue with a deep luster I couldn't believe was on a car. Oops, it was a Bentley. A very young woman was driving said Bentley. Her car costs more than my house. I have a nice house. Her car costs more than my house, car and my husband's truck. We have nice vehicles.
I saw a tiny woman at Macy's one day. A regular Macy's. She must have been lost or was slumming. She couldn't have been five feet tall. She had beautifully sculpted breasts that must have cost an arm and a leg. She did look a bit like she might tip forward. Not from the breasts, from the diamond. Unholy cow, I can't guess the number of carats. It must have been ten. She had teeny tiny hands and a diamond that would look good in a royal crown. She couldn't possibly have been comfortable in something that huge. It would be like gluing a giant gumball on your hand and trying to function without whacking it on everything. More like a burden than a bauble.
All these women look like they are frozen in time. No hair out of place. Never any tell tell roots that prove honey blond is not natural. Clothes fit perfectly. Mani/pedi...perfect. Matchy shoes and purse or not depending on the style. If they tucked in a blouse, it never moves. Always perfectly tucked....that is impossible. These women know something I don't.
It occurred to me maybe all these women went to Teas and learned to be proper. Maybe that is actually what makes one successful. Or at least rich. Or at least driven to look like a magazine cover. I get up, put on make up, flat iron my hair, get dressed and in 5 minutes I look like I went through a rain storm, got fuzzy haired, smeary make up and wrinkled clothes. I never tuck in anything, that is an exercise in futility. Once I sit down nothing is tucked anywhere. I will never be appropriate.
You thought I was going to rant didn't you?
No, that is, "Tea Party 2, Where have all the ism's gone?"
LBB
By the time I was actually old enough to go to Teas it was evident I was not going to be a Deb. The parties I attended involved Boones Farm cheap, cheap wine and anything we could roll. AND we didn't really have rules to follow. We appreciated it if no one lipped the joint but we were not emphatic. It was also appreciated when someone wiped off the top of the bottle before passing. Appropriate conversation involved whatever was "far out man" and appropriate dress was being mostly covered.
A lot of change in one generation. Thank heavens I didn't have to do the Teas...I just can't see myself too concerned about Muffi's daffodils or Trudie's little Yorkie. One day a friend and I went on an estate sale crawl through the University Park areas of Dallas. We arrived at one home with several Delta Delta Delta items for sale and things too expensive for me new much less "pre owned". The woman running the sale was on her cell when my friend and I arrived. I swear the conversation from our ended sounded liked this,
"Muffi...faaaabulous news, we got 12 hundred for the tapestry....I KNOW, it IS faaaaabulous....bye sweetie" this was of course followed by an air kiss. I had to leave before I lost my faaaaabulous breakfast.
I walk through Needless Markup, sorry Mr. Marcus, on my way to The Mall where the stores are that I can afford. I see women in Neiman's that leave my mouth open. Where do they get all that money for stuff? I cannot conceive of paying in excess of a thousand dollars for something I will wear, carry as a purse or put on my feet. These woman MUST be wearing, carrying, sporting, in excess of 30 thousand dollars plus, counting some of the jewelry. I would walk with an armed guard. Whoa, Nellie....I gasp when I pause to look at a price tag.
I see women at the Galleria that are like me and those there to shop at Saks. I went into Saks one day. They don't make clothes that fit me. I am not that oddly shaped. I just don't look like a super model. Maybe a slightly pregnant, plus size, foot model. Good grief a size eight in Saks is like a size minus 40 at Kohl's. HUGE area for boobs, no waist and a little butt. Hello? Who shops here? Surgically altered and incredibly blessed women. I was there for the shoe sale. Feet sizes are within a size no matter what. Shoes on sale at Saks are shoes that I would have to think about buying on lay away for a year. On sale for 700 dollars. No, that is my winter wardrobe....for a couple of years. Or maybe all my coats combined. 700 dollars does not go on your feet all at once. That is 350 a foot. On sale. Mercy.
I was driving down Midway one day. I saw the most beautiful blue Chrysler. I had never seen a car that color before. It was actually Midnight Blue with a deep luster I couldn't believe was on a car. Oops, it was a Bentley. A very young woman was driving said Bentley. Her car costs more than my house. I have a nice house. Her car costs more than my house, car and my husband's truck. We have nice vehicles.
I saw a tiny woman at Macy's one day. A regular Macy's. She must have been lost or was slumming. She couldn't have been five feet tall. She had beautifully sculpted breasts that must have cost an arm and a leg. She did look a bit like she might tip forward. Not from the breasts, from the diamond. Unholy cow, I can't guess the number of carats. It must have been ten. She had teeny tiny hands and a diamond that would look good in a royal crown. She couldn't possibly have been comfortable in something that huge. It would be like gluing a giant gumball on your hand and trying to function without whacking it on everything. More like a burden than a bauble.
All these women look like they are frozen in time. No hair out of place. Never any tell tell roots that prove honey blond is not natural. Clothes fit perfectly. Mani/pedi...perfect. Matchy shoes and purse or not depending on the style. If they tucked in a blouse, it never moves. Always perfectly tucked....that is impossible. These women know something I don't.
It occurred to me maybe all these women went to Teas and learned to be proper. Maybe that is actually what makes one successful. Or at least rich. Or at least driven to look like a magazine cover. I get up, put on make up, flat iron my hair, get dressed and in 5 minutes I look like I went through a rain storm, got fuzzy haired, smeary make up and wrinkled clothes. I never tuck in anything, that is an exercise in futility. Once I sit down nothing is tucked anywhere. I will never be appropriate.
You thought I was going to rant didn't you?
No, that is, "Tea Party 2, Where have all the ism's gone?"
LBB
Thursday, September 8, 2011
TOO MUCH OF NOTHING, How Did We Get Here?
Mr. Bob Dylan wrote a song in the 1960s titled Too Much of Nothing that Peter, Paul and Mary took and made it beautiful. I love you, Bob, but you don't always do the best version of your own songs. The song is about oppression and how it leads to revolution. That is how I read the song.
I didn't watch the "debate" last night as I hate to vomit and that format is called a dog and pony show, debate has nothing to do with it. Semantics, I know. This morning I listened to the sound bites and heard nothing I didn't expect. I will watch the actual candidates debate when we finally get there. It's a long way away folks. I hate the elongated campaign process. Way too much, way. The media just sucks up every little drop of information and politicians like nothing more than national recognition.
Please, everyone stop everything right now. We are in reverse and going fast, blindfolded. It will be ugly. In case you have not guessed, I am an "I told you so" junkie to a degree. Not snotty, just to let you know that I know that you know. I make friends every where I go.
This is not about the GOP this is not about the DEMs this is about us. You and me. America, what on earth happened here? I am completely baffled and stunned. Our national values suck to the point that Dyson is jealous. People applauded the death of 234 criminals. Some of them iffy as to their guilt.
At this point in the debate I went on line with a FB friend who was defending Obama to some right wing tea party nut jobs. All of this has to stop, the discourse is horrible. MERCY, we are one nation are we not? One of the tea baggers had a profile picture of himself firing some automatic weapon and his fav sport, NASCAR. Sorry to be so stereotypical, but, oh yeah. I wanted to ask him if he had teeth. Sorry, mean...but so good at it.
"Liar, Obummer, Obamacare, BLACK president, BLACK friends, TERRORIST friends, Ungodly, MUSLIM". Unholy cow, Fox News is poisoning this entire red freaking nation. The "F" word is reserved for anyone who is in favor of people not money and corporations. "Stupid", wow, who knew they were so articulate.?
Never suggest that W couldn't get out of a box with directions and a box cutter, that makes them angry. I am saving it for later. :)
Things like deregulation helps the economy and that "trickle down" works is their mantra. HEY, wake up....Corporations are GREEDY. It's their job to be greedy. Their investors matter, their employees not at all. Expendable. Everyone is now expendable. Think not? Just wait til someone in India or China can do your job. Your tune will change IF you have a brain. I know long term unemployed Replicans, (new word meaning, "cold blooded by nature"), who still buy the, "GOP is gonna save the world", line. NO, they aren't. They are going to save their class, the rich, and leave the rest of us in the dust...literally.
We live in a country where if you want to purchase a home you must have it insured. If you want to drive a car, you must have insurance on the vehicle. If you get sick, tough shit. Hello? Priorities. The corporations and interests groups run the country with money. They get more money by electing who they want and then call in favors. Illness is costly and one bad medical issue can wipe you out even if you have coverage. Property counts, people no. That is not America. That isn't even close. The government only gives a damn about commerce. RUN THAT. And try not to run it in the ground any longer. Stay out of everything else.
We don't have a KING we have a corrupt government system and we sit on our ass.
What happened, Boomers? Where is that fire and passion that we had when "HELL NO WE WON'T GO" was common in the streets? We are the largest generation in this nation. Where is reason? Where is empathy? Where is civility? How the "F" did we become this? Mean, spiteful, narrow minded? US, the "live and let live", generation how did we get so narrow?
I am just about done. I don't mean ranting, I mean being a good citizen. My government sucks, why should I pay for that? I would fire them all if they were my employees. Why should I continue to pay and pay and pay only to be told that what I want and think matters not at all.
Get off your butts fellow Boomers for whatever you want and believe....THINK stop being sheep. We were never sheep as a generation. We were Pathfinders and Experimenters and Thinkers...druggies too, but we wouldn't settle for the status quo. I don't want it now either.
Too much of nothing makes a man abuse a King. Revolution from oppression. It is coming. People don't like being down forever....look out, I see riots in the streets. The unemployed, the hungry, the disenfranchised. We Americans as a rule don't like being under a thumb. We display the middle finger at that point.
You're Welcome,
LBB
I didn't watch the "debate" last night as I hate to vomit and that format is called a dog and pony show, debate has nothing to do with it. Semantics, I know. This morning I listened to the sound bites and heard nothing I didn't expect. I will watch the actual candidates debate when we finally get there. It's a long way away folks. I hate the elongated campaign process. Way too much, way. The media just sucks up every little drop of information and politicians like nothing more than national recognition.
Please, everyone stop everything right now. We are in reverse and going fast, blindfolded. It will be ugly. In case you have not guessed, I am an "I told you so" junkie to a degree. Not snotty, just to let you know that I know that you know. I make friends every where I go.
This is not about the GOP this is not about the DEMs this is about us. You and me. America, what on earth happened here? I am completely baffled and stunned. Our national values suck to the point that Dyson is jealous. People applauded the death of 234 criminals. Some of them iffy as to their guilt.
At this point in the debate I went on line with a FB friend who was defending Obama to some right wing tea party nut jobs. All of this has to stop, the discourse is horrible. MERCY, we are one nation are we not? One of the tea baggers had a profile picture of himself firing some automatic weapon and his fav sport, NASCAR. Sorry to be so stereotypical, but, oh yeah. I wanted to ask him if he had teeth. Sorry, mean...but so good at it.
"Liar, Obummer, Obamacare, BLACK president, BLACK friends, TERRORIST friends, Ungodly, MUSLIM". Unholy cow, Fox News is poisoning this entire red freaking nation. The "F" word is reserved for anyone who is in favor of people not money and corporations. "Stupid", wow, who knew they were so articulate.?
Never suggest that W couldn't get out of a box with directions and a box cutter, that makes them angry. I am saving it for later. :)
Things like deregulation helps the economy and that "trickle down" works is their mantra. HEY, wake up....Corporations are GREEDY. It's their job to be greedy. Their investors matter, their employees not at all. Expendable. Everyone is now expendable. Think not? Just wait til someone in India or China can do your job. Your tune will change IF you have a brain. I know long term unemployed Replicans, (new word meaning, "cold blooded by nature"), who still buy the, "GOP is gonna save the world", line. NO, they aren't. They are going to save their class, the rich, and leave the rest of us in the dust...literally.
We live in a country where if you want to purchase a home you must have it insured. If you want to drive a car, you must have insurance on the vehicle. If you get sick, tough shit. Hello? Priorities. The corporations and interests groups run the country with money. They get more money by electing who they want and then call in favors. Illness is costly and one bad medical issue can wipe you out even if you have coverage. Property counts, people no. That is not America. That isn't even close. The government only gives a damn about commerce. RUN THAT. And try not to run it in the ground any longer. Stay out of everything else.
We don't have a KING we have a corrupt government system and we sit on our ass.
What happened, Boomers? Where is that fire and passion that we had when "HELL NO WE WON'T GO" was common in the streets? We are the largest generation in this nation. Where is reason? Where is empathy? Where is civility? How the "F" did we become this? Mean, spiteful, narrow minded? US, the "live and let live", generation how did we get so narrow?
I am just about done. I don't mean ranting, I mean being a good citizen. My government sucks, why should I pay for that? I would fire them all if they were my employees. Why should I continue to pay and pay and pay only to be told that what I want and think matters not at all.
Get off your butts fellow Boomers for whatever you want and believe....THINK stop being sheep. We were never sheep as a generation. We were Pathfinders and Experimenters and Thinkers...druggies too, but we wouldn't settle for the status quo. I don't want it now either.
Too much of nothing makes a man abuse a King. Revolution from oppression. It is coming. People don't like being down forever....look out, I see riots in the streets. The unemployed, the hungry, the disenfranchised. We Americans as a rule don't like being under a thumb. We display the middle finger at that point.
You're Welcome,
LBB
Wednesday, September 7, 2011
9/11, MY DAY and WHAT WE SHOULD HAVE DONE, (this is NOT funny)
September 11, 2001 is one of those days that is common in the memories of people who experienced the horror. Those of us old enough to remember when Kennedy was assassinated, when John Lennon was murdered, 9/11, shared memories of the nation and the world. Frozen seconds that will always be sharp in our collective memory.
I was here at home. My husband's company was making a huge announcement that day. The kind of announcement that makes the national news. He was in California to handle the west coast announcement and then immediately board a plane for Hawaii. This was corporate hush, hush big voodoo. We, even spouses, were all under orders to NOT say anything to anyone. Cone of silence sort of behavior. There was no chance he would make it to Hawaii before the Corporate grapevine and the news reached employees there so he was not looking forward to potential mob rule when he got to his Honolulu office. Not to mention a flight to Hawaii is almost as much fun as a long root canal while you need to pee.
Sitting here watching The Today Show with Katie, Bryant and Matt I was waiting for the news portion at the half hour to hear about the GE/Xerox partnership and watch the stocks as the news hit wall street. Suddenly Matt was talking about a plane hitting the World Trade Center and was talking to a woman by phone who lived near the site. She advised him it was just a small plane but there was so much smoke. I knew immediately that a small plane would have bounced off the WTC, if there was a lot of smoke, that's jet fuel. They finally got the helicopter shot and then BOOM, the second jet hit the second tower.
I started trying to call my husband. He was in the closed door, no cell phones on, top secret meeting. The towers were both billowing black smoke and helicopters were capturing pictures of the trapped people. NBC switched to their correspondent at the Pentagon. This was obviously a planned a vicious attack. Jim "Mick" Miklashevski was communicating with the studio via phone. He was explaining all the activity in the Pentagon when he said, "I don't want to cause panic but I just heard a loud explosion here and there is..." lost connection.
"WAR", was all I could think. Oh God, we are at war. The days of living as a free society for our generation, over. Time for us to step up and get ready to defend our homeland. I was ready, get a gun and start looking for the perpetrators and kill those bastards. Those poor people in New York! How will they survive? How will the even get out of the city? Then I started worrying about people around the nation with family in the city having no idea how their loved ones are. Then I went, SHIT, my brother works THERE in Manhattan. Holy Crap, (he lives in Connecticut but worked in the financial district). I had no idea if he was close to the WTC. Financial District sounds, you know, close to where the WTC would be.
I kept calling the husband and now the parents. I wanted to know if they were aware of the fact that we were at war and if they had brother's phone number at work. They knew nothing, they were reading the paper. I told them to turn on the television, go to the store and get anything they might need for several days and try to reach brother at work. I called my sister-in-law. She was getting ready to ride at the barn. Is brother OK, do you know? What about the kids? I asked thinking everyone in the world must know by now. She didn't know a thing. Call him, I said. Call me back the WTC and The Pentagon have been hit with planes, we are at war.
Finally reached my husband after the meeting. I told him, don't go to the airport, no point. DO NOT return your rental car, you may never get home. You will have to drive here. Start now. WHAT? he said, I heard something about a bomb in New York. NO PLANES......they are flying planes into buildings. Get on the road NOW. Who is flying planes..what? CRAZY NUT JOBS, get in your car....start driving.
And then.....the horror, the awful unbelievable hatred of people to destroy innocents. The gall to come here, TO LIVE HERE and then destroy lives and the confidence of a nation. NOT FOR LONG. America doesn't take kindly to war. We suspend habeas corpus, we round people up who look like the enemy. Now I get the entire, terrible, disgusting, internment of Japanese Americans in WWII. I understand the paranoia. How disgusting and necessary to make the vast majority of people feel safer. War is not fair. War is mean. War has different rules. Yeah, America is going to look different for a while and then we will return to our beloved freedom.
I waited for the news that all borders and ports would be closed. We would be trapped in the nation for a while and people would be stopped from entering. It would take a while but we would find out who is here and why and where they came from and remove or imprison those we found suspicious. Sucks for them. We would have to conserve everything. We would all have to work together as a nation for a while. Victory gardens and rationing. That's war. The citizens sacrifice too. These tough times make a nation strong. They remind people about our responsibility to preserve what others before us died to create and maintain.
American interests overseas would be seriously considered. Commerce would halt for a bit. World War. You don't attack America and expect us to be generous anywhere. We help allies and starve the enemy. Oh yeah, this is like a real war, not a conflict. Here we go.....
No, we didn't. We had some rallies and talked about how we were gonna get the bad guys and send them somewhere to be tortued. Can't stop commerce! Hell no. Politically incorrect to round up those who look like the enemy. WHAT? WAR people....this is war. We have been attacked Pearl Harbor style. LET'S STOP THIS NOW!
No, we will look for Bin Laden. We have playing cards with pictures and names of bad guys. WHAT? We will make all of America pay. We will strip search people at the airport. We will put cameras everywhere so we will know what happened after the fact. Citizens will be searched and screened at public venues. EXCUSE ME? This is America, remember? We kick the enemies ass when they attack us. HELLO? So we are all guilty until proven innocent to see a concert? The symphony? The State Fair? No, not in my America. We get tough on those unfortunate enough to look like the people who killed us. Totally unfair, but hey, war is simply different.
Then we started a war in a country with imaginary WMDs and had nothing to do with 9/11 at all. WHAT?Have we lost all sense of reason? Is this some dream or nightmare where we do something incredibly stupid again? The theory was that all the bad guys who want to kill us would go to Iraq to engage us. No, of course they won't. They want to kill us HERE and abroad where we have interests and/or other infidels live. I didn't go to West Point and I know this is the most ignorant strategy on earth. Patton must have been slapping everyone he could get his hands on. NO, off to war we went under the quise of a pre-emptive defensive strike. Shock and awe. I had it. WHAT? What is the objective? We are creating war to what end? No end of course....we went in like the yahoo cowboy in the white house, not a freaking clue.
We are marking the 10th anniversary in a few days. We aren't celebrating a victory, we are pouring over the sadness. We are all still guilty until proven innocent in our own country because we seek entertainment or entrance into a government building. What are our leaders doing? Trying to figure out how to continue to be in power. It's all they ever care about. We can't celebrate the end of anything because we can't stop it now. Big Brother is here and we might as well get used to it. Your phone can be tapped, your house can be invaded for cause. You can be felt up at the airport because you flinched or sneezed or look nervous. Gramma ain't gonna blow up that plane.
Me, I would rather die in service to freedom. Let me get on a plane and take my chances. Put an air marshall on board every plane, search all the freakin' luggage, allow us no carry ons, whatever, don't treat me like I am getting ready to have my Miranda rights read to me so I can go on vacation. I would rather enter a building for a fun evening without opening my purse and being wanded to make sure I don't beep. The other Eagles or McCartney fans aren't going to blow me up. If I'm wrong, oh well. Shit happens.
Soon, since crazy and the second amendment go hand in hand in some instances, we won't be able to enter restaurants and stores without being wanded. Ask the people at Luby's or IHOP or many work places and even an Amish school. Crazy is everywhere. If someone really wants to make a statement and kill others, and then themselves of course because chicken and crazy go together too, no amount of screening and searching and recording is going to stop that.
I want my country back. I want to ensure that we aren't letting people live here to get an education or job or opportunity because they want to and can afford it. Sorry, if you are from a nation that harbors or produces or breeds terrorism your chances of getting in America are limited. If you don't like it, change your country. Change your religion. Speak out against the crazies in Islam, don't stand back and be silent. It is a religion full of love and peace and understanding. What the fringe does should make you cringe. Much like the "Christian" believers who make themselves the center of their own religion. We kill them. Enter their compounds, take their "children" and incarcerate the always old geezer who needs virgin brides.
We should be celebrating victory over the insanity of those who hate us. We are instead still at the memorial service. Time for the wake.
LBB
I was here at home. My husband's company was making a huge announcement that day. The kind of announcement that makes the national news. He was in California to handle the west coast announcement and then immediately board a plane for Hawaii. This was corporate hush, hush big voodoo. We, even spouses, were all under orders to NOT say anything to anyone. Cone of silence sort of behavior. There was no chance he would make it to Hawaii before the Corporate grapevine and the news reached employees there so he was not looking forward to potential mob rule when he got to his Honolulu office. Not to mention a flight to Hawaii is almost as much fun as a long root canal while you need to pee.
Sitting here watching The Today Show with Katie, Bryant and Matt I was waiting for the news portion at the half hour to hear about the GE/Xerox partnership and watch the stocks as the news hit wall street. Suddenly Matt was talking about a plane hitting the World Trade Center and was talking to a woman by phone who lived near the site. She advised him it was just a small plane but there was so much smoke. I knew immediately that a small plane would have bounced off the WTC, if there was a lot of smoke, that's jet fuel. They finally got the helicopter shot and then BOOM, the second jet hit the second tower.
I started trying to call my husband. He was in the closed door, no cell phones on, top secret meeting. The towers were both billowing black smoke and helicopters were capturing pictures of the trapped people. NBC switched to their correspondent at the Pentagon. This was obviously a planned a vicious attack. Jim "Mick" Miklashevski was communicating with the studio via phone. He was explaining all the activity in the Pentagon when he said, "I don't want to cause panic but I just heard a loud explosion here and there is..." lost connection.
"WAR", was all I could think. Oh God, we are at war. The days of living as a free society for our generation, over. Time for us to step up and get ready to defend our homeland. I was ready, get a gun and start looking for the perpetrators and kill those bastards. Those poor people in New York! How will they survive? How will the even get out of the city? Then I started worrying about people around the nation with family in the city having no idea how their loved ones are. Then I went, SHIT, my brother works THERE in Manhattan. Holy Crap, (he lives in Connecticut but worked in the financial district). I had no idea if he was close to the WTC. Financial District sounds, you know, close to where the WTC would be.
I kept calling the husband and now the parents. I wanted to know if they were aware of the fact that we were at war and if they had brother's phone number at work. They knew nothing, they were reading the paper. I told them to turn on the television, go to the store and get anything they might need for several days and try to reach brother at work. I called my sister-in-law. She was getting ready to ride at the barn. Is brother OK, do you know? What about the kids? I asked thinking everyone in the world must know by now. She didn't know a thing. Call him, I said. Call me back the WTC and The Pentagon have been hit with planes, we are at war.
Finally reached my husband after the meeting. I told him, don't go to the airport, no point. DO NOT return your rental car, you may never get home. You will have to drive here. Start now. WHAT? he said, I heard something about a bomb in New York. NO PLANES......they are flying planes into buildings. Get on the road NOW. Who is flying planes..what? CRAZY NUT JOBS, get in your car....start driving.
And then.....the horror, the awful unbelievable hatred of people to destroy innocents. The gall to come here, TO LIVE HERE and then destroy lives and the confidence of a nation. NOT FOR LONG. America doesn't take kindly to war. We suspend habeas corpus, we round people up who look like the enemy. Now I get the entire, terrible, disgusting, internment of Japanese Americans in WWII. I understand the paranoia. How disgusting and necessary to make the vast majority of people feel safer. War is not fair. War is mean. War has different rules. Yeah, America is going to look different for a while and then we will return to our beloved freedom.
I waited for the news that all borders and ports would be closed. We would be trapped in the nation for a while and people would be stopped from entering. It would take a while but we would find out who is here and why and where they came from and remove or imprison those we found suspicious. Sucks for them. We would have to conserve everything. We would all have to work together as a nation for a while. Victory gardens and rationing. That's war. The citizens sacrifice too. These tough times make a nation strong. They remind people about our responsibility to preserve what others before us died to create and maintain.
American interests overseas would be seriously considered. Commerce would halt for a bit. World War. You don't attack America and expect us to be generous anywhere. We help allies and starve the enemy. Oh yeah, this is like a real war, not a conflict. Here we go.....
No, we didn't. We had some rallies and talked about how we were gonna get the bad guys and send them somewhere to be tortued. Can't stop commerce! Hell no. Politically incorrect to round up those who look like the enemy. WHAT? WAR people....this is war. We have been attacked Pearl Harbor style. LET'S STOP THIS NOW!
No, we will look for Bin Laden. We have playing cards with pictures and names of bad guys. WHAT? We will make all of America pay. We will strip search people at the airport. We will put cameras everywhere so we will know what happened after the fact. Citizens will be searched and screened at public venues. EXCUSE ME? This is America, remember? We kick the enemies ass when they attack us. HELLO? So we are all guilty until proven innocent to see a concert? The symphony? The State Fair? No, not in my America. We get tough on those unfortunate enough to look like the people who killed us. Totally unfair, but hey, war is simply different.
Then we started a war in a country with imaginary WMDs and had nothing to do with 9/11 at all. WHAT?Have we lost all sense of reason? Is this some dream or nightmare where we do something incredibly stupid again? The theory was that all the bad guys who want to kill us would go to Iraq to engage us. No, of course they won't. They want to kill us HERE and abroad where we have interests and/or other infidels live. I didn't go to West Point and I know this is the most ignorant strategy on earth. Patton must have been slapping everyone he could get his hands on. NO, off to war we went under the quise of a pre-emptive defensive strike. Shock and awe. I had it. WHAT? What is the objective? We are creating war to what end? No end of course....we went in like the yahoo cowboy in the white house, not a freaking clue.
We are marking the 10th anniversary in a few days. We aren't celebrating a victory, we are pouring over the sadness. We are all still guilty until proven innocent in our own country because we seek entertainment or entrance into a government building. What are our leaders doing? Trying to figure out how to continue to be in power. It's all they ever care about. We can't celebrate the end of anything because we can't stop it now. Big Brother is here and we might as well get used to it. Your phone can be tapped, your house can be invaded for cause. You can be felt up at the airport because you flinched or sneezed or look nervous. Gramma ain't gonna blow up that plane.
Me, I would rather die in service to freedom. Let me get on a plane and take my chances. Put an air marshall on board every plane, search all the freakin' luggage, allow us no carry ons, whatever, don't treat me like I am getting ready to have my Miranda rights read to me so I can go on vacation. I would rather enter a building for a fun evening without opening my purse and being wanded to make sure I don't beep. The other Eagles or McCartney fans aren't going to blow me up. If I'm wrong, oh well. Shit happens.
Soon, since crazy and the second amendment go hand in hand in some instances, we won't be able to enter restaurants and stores without being wanded. Ask the people at Luby's or IHOP or many work places and even an Amish school. Crazy is everywhere. If someone really wants to make a statement and kill others, and then themselves of course because chicken and crazy go together too, no amount of screening and searching and recording is going to stop that.
I want my country back. I want to ensure that we aren't letting people live here to get an education or job or opportunity because they want to and can afford it. Sorry, if you are from a nation that harbors or produces or breeds terrorism your chances of getting in America are limited. If you don't like it, change your country. Change your religion. Speak out against the crazies in Islam, don't stand back and be silent. It is a religion full of love and peace and understanding. What the fringe does should make you cringe. Much like the "Christian" believers who make themselves the center of their own religion. We kill them. Enter their compounds, take their "children" and incarcerate the always old geezer who needs virgin brides.
We should be celebrating victory over the insanity of those who hate us. We are instead still at the memorial service. Time for the wake.
LBB
Tuesday, September 6, 2011
A WORD ABOUT NERVOUS BREAKDOWNS
Nervous breakdown, I am having one. Actually, I think we have all had one. In reality I have had at least three in my life but this last one has been a beast. I thought I would share so maybe it would be easier to recognize the symptoms in yourselves and others. Here's just a little information from the inside of pain, heartache and disappointment.
Some of you are gasping. "I can't believe she would say that out loud! What are we going to do with her? Intervention?" Nah, I don't need an intervention, I need time, peace and apparently lots of drugs. I don't especially like the drugs but after all the therapy I could come up with on my own I finally said, "doctor time", through tears and screaming. Life's pressures kept building in me and I finally had to burst. It was quite dramatic and I believe for just a moment the doctor was looking for a taser. OK, see THAT line is supposed to be funny.
If you have never had a nervous breakdown or if your life has never collapsed around you, these are things you need to know. 1. You don't always recognize what's happening. 2. Everyone around you does. 3. Therapy is great for people who have a difficult time opening up. 4. Psychiatry is for people who have serious mental disorders not life balance problems. 5. Nervous breakdowns are long term issues not a short series of bursts. 6. I am not going to kill you. 7. I am not going to kill myself. 8. Emotions are difficult to control under some conditions. 9. It isn't you, it is me. 10. You need to shut up.
I am quite aware that I am verbose and say whatever I want whenever I want. Oops. My bad. Sometimes it is because I firmly believe in what I am saying and don't really care if you agree with me or not. It is not an argument, it is merely me expressing my former charming, funny self. I can't always work up a comedy routine on the spot. Other times I am merely having a bad day and didn't go through the mental check list of appropriate behavior before I bit your face off. See, nervous breakdown really means the inability to control your emotions. So, if you hang around me long enough I will bite your head off or cry. It's a given, sorry. Promise I will get better, doing the very best I can right now.
Drama Queen. Yes, sometimes I am one and always have been. Not now. This is been the most difficult four years of my life. I have not had the happiest experiences in my life up to this point. I am old. By this stage of life we've all had crap. My crap has been rather extreme at times, abusive husband, drunken husband, (I can pick 'em). Unexpected, thrilling pregnancy, uterine cancer, all in the same week, Job I loved then hated. Heroin addicted stepson, dying mother in law, death of stepson from an overdose, death of mother in law, finding my parents living in squalor both with dementia and alcoholism. Poor me. Poor everyone.
The day their dog exploded was the last day I could cope. If you have never seen a dog whose intestines have burst you haven't lived. My parents always forgot to give the dog any foods but milk with some cereal and ice cream. The dog loved it. I put signs around the house about what to let the dog eat. I fed the dog real, expensive, fancy dog food. He liked the cereal and ice cream. He burst. Dog shit covered every surface the dog could reach, all the furniture, the walls, the beds, the carpet. After three years I was done.
I do have a sibling, he lives far away and has his own set of incredibly horrible problems. In other words, he can't help much or often with our parents. That leaves everything to me. I live three peoples lives. I make decisions for three people, life altering decisions, financial decisions, what to do with everything my parents own, decisions. It gets to be a huge burden at times. Some days I don't handle it especially well. Some days I can barely climb out of the pit long enough to eat. Sleep is a memory many nights. Running on empty is hard.
I have had good friends call me psycho and mean it. Not in a joking way but in a, "you ain't right because you are psycho", way. I have friends who tell friends who of course tell me how much I need help. I should this read this self help book or go see a therapist. Nah, not my style. Therapists don't help and have no answers. "How did that make you feel?" And, "try these mental exercises...always remember this...never do that....keep a journal, get in touch with your inner child". All band aids in my stubborn opinion. Hurl. How about let me get through this section of my life and if my attitude bugs you get out of my way. That works just fine for me.
For those of you who have not figured it out yet Lillybell Blues is my therapy and much better than a journal. I lay my life open in cyberspace. That brings more clarity and satisfaction to me than anything else I have tried so far. I spill my guts and make you laugh, think, cry or angry. You get to enjoy or hate what I write. That is your choice. And remember no one has to read anything, there will not be a test.
I moved my rants to a group specifically because I heard through the grapevines, if you think they don't exist you haven't learned much in life, that some of you think I have lost it. "Says whatever she wants, always stoned and angry, it's just too much, I don't want her around my real friends, my new friends, she isn't near as helpful as she used to be. It's embarrassing." Oh, I feel so bad. Not really.
You know the old expression, "love me, love my dog"? Well, this is my dog. My life is sucky right now, again. I know that all of you have all the answers because I know how well your lives run. I know that by nature we are all gossipy, caring, judgemental pricks and bitches. I know this because I am one too. I know that I should not be so negative and that everyday is a holiday and every meal a banquet. I know that things could be worse. I know that I am not that fun to be around all the time and, ew, that is a burden for everyone else.
I know that your path is not mine. I know that my path is improvised a lot. I know that when your life is on an up cycle all the world is beautiful and everyone else is just so wrong. When your life if on a down cycle every force in the universe is against you and happy people make you want to vomit. When life is good there are answers everywhere and it is easy to take lemons and make lemonade. When life is bad the lemon just squirts you in the eye. If you are reading this and you think this paragraph was written for you, that's called paranoia. That's what psychiatrists are for, (see, funny again). I am using the Royal "you", so to speak.
Still my favorite expression, "we judge others by their actions, we judge ourselves by our intentions". I have learned and know full well that we judge based on the exact moment in time based on more factors than can be calculated. I know that life is sometimes a struggle and sometimes it is all downhill and a lovely coast. I know that friendship is hard and standing by someone when you least want to is difficult. I know that being on the periphery is much different than being in the eye. Second favorite expression, "it isn't an adventure til it's over".
You may not know that nervous breakdowns are also a blessing in disguise. There is such clarity among the chaos. I will come out of this much stronger and better. I will be happier and more at peace with me. I will not struggle with the day to day doubts anymore, that will finally be behind me. Definition is at the end.
Look out world, here I come.
It's been a bumpy flight but the landing will be awesome.
LBB
Some of you are gasping. "I can't believe she would say that out loud! What are we going to do with her? Intervention?" Nah, I don't need an intervention, I need time, peace and apparently lots of drugs. I don't especially like the drugs but after all the therapy I could come up with on my own I finally said, "doctor time", through tears and screaming. Life's pressures kept building in me and I finally had to burst. It was quite dramatic and I believe for just a moment the doctor was looking for a taser. OK, see THAT line is supposed to be funny.
If you have never had a nervous breakdown or if your life has never collapsed around you, these are things you need to know. 1. You don't always recognize what's happening. 2. Everyone around you does. 3. Therapy is great for people who have a difficult time opening up. 4. Psychiatry is for people who have serious mental disorders not life balance problems. 5. Nervous breakdowns are long term issues not a short series of bursts. 6. I am not going to kill you. 7. I am not going to kill myself. 8. Emotions are difficult to control under some conditions. 9. It isn't you, it is me. 10. You need to shut up.
I am quite aware that I am verbose and say whatever I want whenever I want. Oops. My bad. Sometimes it is because I firmly believe in what I am saying and don't really care if you agree with me or not. It is not an argument, it is merely me expressing my former charming, funny self. I can't always work up a comedy routine on the spot. Other times I am merely having a bad day and didn't go through the mental check list of appropriate behavior before I bit your face off. See, nervous breakdown really means the inability to control your emotions. So, if you hang around me long enough I will bite your head off or cry. It's a given, sorry. Promise I will get better, doing the very best I can right now.
Drama Queen. Yes, sometimes I am one and always have been. Not now. This is been the most difficult four years of my life. I have not had the happiest experiences in my life up to this point. I am old. By this stage of life we've all had crap. My crap has been rather extreme at times, abusive husband, drunken husband, (I can pick 'em). Unexpected, thrilling pregnancy, uterine cancer, all in the same week, Job I loved then hated. Heroin addicted stepson, dying mother in law, death of stepson from an overdose, death of mother in law, finding my parents living in squalor both with dementia and alcoholism. Poor me. Poor everyone.
The day their dog exploded was the last day I could cope. If you have never seen a dog whose intestines have burst you haven't lived. My parents always forgot to give the dog any foods but milk with some cereal and ice cream. The dog loved it. I put signs around the house about what to let the dog eat. I fed the dog real, expensive, fancy dog food. He liked the cereal and ice cream. He burst. Dog shit covered every surface the dog could reach, all the furniture, the walls, the beds, the carpet. After three years I was done.
I do have a sibling, he lives far away and has his own set of incredibly horrible problems. In other words, he can't help much or often with our parents. That leaves everything to me. I live three peoples lives. I make decisions for three people, life altering decisions, financial decisions, what to do with everything my parents own, decisions. It gets to be a huge burden at times. Some days I don't handle it especially well. Some days I can barely climb out of the pit long enough to eat. Sleep is a memory many nights. Running on empty is hard.
I have had good friends call me psycho and mean it. Not in a joking way but in a, "you ain't right because you are psycho", way. I have friends who tell friends who of course tell me how much I need help. I should this read this self help book or go see a therapist. Nah, not my style. Therapists don't help and have no answers. "How did that make you feel?" And, "try these mental exercises...always remember this...never do that....keep a journal, get in touch with your inner child". All band aids in my stubborn opinion. Hurl. How about let me get through this section of my life and if my attitude bugs you get out of my way. That works just fine for me.
For those of you who have not figured it out yet Lillybell Blues is my therapy and much better than a journal. I lay my life open in cyberspace. That brings more clarity and satisfaction to me than anything else I have tried so far. I spill my guts and make you laugh, think, cry or angry. You get to enjoy or hate what I write. That is your choice. And remember no one has to read anything, there will not be a test.
I moved my rants to a group specifically because I heard through the grapevines, if you think they don't exist you haven't learned much in life, that some of you think I have lost it. "Says whatever she wants, always stoned and angry, it's just too much, I don't want her around my real friends, my new friends, she isn't near as helpful as she used to be. It's embarrassing." Oh, I feel so bad. Not really.
You know the old expression, "love me, love my dog"? Well, this is my dog. My life is sucky right now, again. I know that all of you have all the answers because I know how well your lives run. I know that by nature we are all gossipy, caring, judgemental pricks and bitches. I know this because I am one too. I know that I should not be so negative and that everyday is a holiday and every meal a banquet. I know that things could be worse. I know that I am not that fun to be around all the time and, ew, that is a burden for everyone else.
I know that your path is not mine. I know that my path is improvised a lot. I know that when your life is on an up cycle all the world is beautiful and everyone else is just so wrong. When your life if on a down cycle every force in the universe is against you and happy people make you want to vomit. When life is good there are answers everywhere and it is easy to take lemons and make lemonade. When life is bad the lemon just squirts you in the eye. If you are reading this and you think this paragraph was written for you, that's called paranoia. That's what psychiatrists are for, (see, funny again). I am using the Royal "you", so to speak.
Still my favorite expression, "we judge others by their actions, we judge ourselves by our intentions". I have learned and know full well that we judge based on the exact moment in time based on more factors than can be calculated. I know that life is sometimes a struggle and sometimes it is all downhill and a lovely coast. I know that friendship is hard and standing by someone when you least want to is difficult. I know that being on the periphery is much different than being in the eye. Second favorite expression, "it isn't an adventure til it's over".
You may not know that nervous breakdowns are also a blessing in disguise. There is such clarity among the chaos. I will come out of this much stronger and better. I will be happier and more at peace with me. I will not struggle with the day to day doubts anymore, that will finally be behind me. Definition is at the end.
Look out world, here I come.
It's been a bumpy flight but the landing will be awesome.
LBB
Thursday, September 1, 2011
WHY DO WE PAY FOR TeeVee?
I was raised in front of the television. My mother found early in my life that sitting me in front of a shiny moving picture would shut me up for quite a while. Jack LaLane, Queen for a Day, Dobie Gillis, Love That Bob, December Bride, Pete and Gladys, I Married Joan, Our Miss Brooks, Jack Benny and George Burn and Gracie Allen, I watched them all. I also watched Amos and Andy but don't tell anyone, that would be incorrect now.
Television was free then. You paid for a console television, you got an antenna and then you had television. Three channels and at some point we got a few UHF channels. Television went off the air at midnight-ish. The Star Spangle Banner played and then you got a test pattern. In the morning there was kids television, then moms television, then soaps. You waited for the local and national news. You got to hear the local news again at 10:00 p.m. "Do you know where your children are?" One of the first public service announcements. Thanks so much for that, my parents always wondered where I was at that time even if I was in the house.
One night when I was 10 years old we were watching television in the den, the entire family, when a character said, "damn". My dad turned off the television. He didn't want his children exposed to that. Now you turn on television at anytime night or day and someone is naked and saying the F word.
One evening last year my brother was here and he wanted to watch something on HBO. Sure. I am a good hostess. The first scene was two naked people humping like dogs, really. Yeah, don't want to watch porn with my brother. Don't want to watch it with my stepson or daughter-in-law either. Thank heavens they like the food channel, football and anything ESPN.
I don't know when we lost our imaginations but I could always pretty much figure out when the scene was too private to show on television there was humping involved. Now just to make sure no one is confused it is necessary to to show people in the act graphically. We also get slow motion, graphic, up close and personal violence and dissection in the medical labs. Thanks, I can use my imagination. I don't need to see the liver or the splayed open corpse. I watch NCIS with my hand covering half the scene in Ducky's lab.
When I first heard of cable television I thought, "finally, television without commercials". Seemed logical to me. If the public was paying for programming why would we need commercials? Now that's all we have is commercials. I think we should just have "The Commercial Channel". That makes sense to me. You can DVR programming and fast forward through the commercials so let's just move them to one channel. Except the Budweiser Clydesdale's at Christmas. That one should be shown all the time.
I pay more money for a land line, cable and Internet service than I will even say out loud. I rarely find anything new I want to watch. I have more sports channels than I can figure out. I can't call my provider and say, "Hi, I want these channels", no everything is bundled. Whatever. I don't need any Spanish language programming. I don't need a dedicated channel for every sport on earth. Classic Sports? How much fun is it when you now the outcome of a game?
The "premium channels" show the same things over and over for a month or more. Is that so we can watch the same movies and programs again and again? Isn't that what the DVR is for? I pay extra for the DVR. I pay extra for the premium channels. I pay for everything that appears on my now digital television. Why digital? Because the government said we all had to have one. Suddenly TV that once drifted through the air and was captured by an antenna and a receiver is no longer feasible.
This is how I see it so you know it is skewed. Someone figured out that we would pay for extra channels. Then all programming had to be paid for to be seen. Advertisers have to pay to support the production of the programming. We pay for that too because we are consumers. SO, we pay for the products that produce the programming. We pay the people who now capture the digital signal and send it to our homes. We now can only have digital programming so you need a new digital television. Well, several actually if you are television addicted. They got us. Whoever, "they" are. They got us good.
All of this is splendid for everyone except the consumer. I draw the line at 3D. I will not sit in my house wearing special glasses to watch new and improved technology. If I want to see something in 3D I will go outside and take a look around for a minute. I should be fine.
My point to this ramble can be summed up quickly. But it is me so nothing is quick. We are paying outrageous money to watch bad television. At the very least they could not insult our intelligence or make us wish to heaven we weren't sitting with strangers somewhere in public with every television telling us what to do in the event someone has a four hour erection. WE KNOW ALREADY! On the other hand I guess it could be a conversation starter, "you ever have one of those 4 hour erections? My name is Curious Barbie, nice to meet you, Bob".
Remember how nice it was when the picture and sound just came through the air? All synchronized and black and white and then COLOR! That really was enough for me. I love my big television. It's very nice. Forty-six inches of HD glory. It was expensive. I pay the equivalent money in a year of paying my cable/Internet bill. And my laptop. I could buy a new TV and laptop every year for what I pay for cable and Internet service. The land line I keep for emergencies. Can't tell you how often I need that phone when the power goes out. Try calling from your cell. AND sometimes my cell doesn't get a good signal here. I pay for that too. Separately, different company altogether.
We consumers lost complete control. Actually, we just handed it over. "Yes master, we understand that what once always worked is now unavailable and obsolete. The magic air pictures now must be paid for. It takes many dollars to keep Snooki happy. We will keep paying more and more. How can we now live without the real housewives of any city anywhere?"
I am willing to give it my all.
Just sayin'
LBB
Television was free then. You paid for a console television, you got an antenna and then you had television. Three channels and at some point we got a few UHF channels. Television went off the air at midnight-ish. The Star Spangle Banner played and then you got a test pattern. In the morning there was kids television, then moms television, then soaps. You waited for the local and national news. You got to hear the local news again at 10:00 p.m. "Do you know where your children are?" One of the first public service announcements. Thanks so much for that, my parents always wondered where I was at that time even if I was in the house.
One night when I was 10 years old we were watching television in the den, the entire family, when a character said, "damn". My dad turned off the television. He didn't want his children exposed to that. Now you turn on television at anytime night or day and someone is naked and saying the F word.
One evening last year my brother was here and he wanted to watch something on HBO. Sure. I am a good hostess. The first scene was two naked people humping like dogs, really. Yeah, don't want to watch porn with my brother. Don't want to watch it with my stepson or daughter-in-law either. Thank heavens they like the food channel, football and anything ESPN.
I don't know when we lost our imaginations but I could always pretty much figure out when the scene was too private to show on television there was humping involved. Now just to make sure no one is confused it is necessary to to show people in the act graphically. We also get slow motion, graphic, up close and personal violence and dissection in the medical labs. Thanks, I can use my imagination. I don't need to see the liver or the splayed open corpse. I watch NCIS with my hand covering half the scene in Ducky's lab.
When I first heard of cable television I thought, "finally, television without commercials". Seemed logical to me. If the public was paying for programming why would we need commercials? Now that's all we have is commercials. I think we should just have "The Commercial Channel". That makes sense to me. You can DVR programming and fast forward through the commercials so let's just move them to one channel. Except the Budweiser Clydesdale's at Christmas. That one should be shown all the time.
I pay more money for a land line, cable and Internet service than I will even say out loud. I rarely find anything new I want to watch. I have more sports channels than I can figure out. I can't call my provider and say, "Hi, I want these channels", no everything is bundled. Whatever. I don't need any Spanish language programming. I don't need a dedicated channel for every sport on earth. Classic Sports? How much fun is it when you now the outcome of a game?
The "premium channels" show the same things over and over for a month or more. Is that so we can watch the same movies and programs again and again? Isn't that what the DVR is for? I pay extra for the DVR. I pay extra for the premium channels. I pay for everything that appears on my now digital television. Why digital? Because the government said we all had to have one. Suddenly TV that once drifted through the air and was captured by an antenna and a receiver is no longer feasible.
This is how I see it so you know it is skewed. Someone figured out that we would pay for extra channels. Then all programming had to be paid for to be seen. Advertisers have to pay to support the production of the programming. We pay for that too because we are consumers. SO, we pay for the products that produce the programming. We pay the people who now capture the digital signal and send it to our homes. We now can only have digital programming so you need a new digital television. Well, several actually if you are television addicted. They got us. Whoever, "they" are. They got us good.
All of this is splendid for everyone except the consumer. I draw the line at 3D. I will not sit in my house wearing special glasses to watch new and improved technology. If I want to see something in 3D I will go outside and take a look around for a minute. I should be fine.
My point to this ramble can be summed up quickly. But it is me so nothing is quick. We are paying outrageous money to watch bad television. At the very least they could not insult our intelligence or make us wish to heaven we weren't sitting with strangers somewhere in public with every television telling us what to do in the event someone has a four hour erection. WE KNOW ALREADY! On the other hand I guess it could be a conversation starter, "you ever have one of those 4 hour erections? My name is Curious Barbie, nice to meet you, Bob".
Remember how nice it was when the picture and sound just came through the air? All synchronized and black and white and then COLOR! That really was enough for me. I love my big television. It's very nice. Forty-six inches of HD glory. It was expensive. I pay the equivalent money in a year of paying my cable/Internet bill. And my laptop. I could buy a new TV and laptop every year for what I pay for cable and Internet service. The land line I keep for emergencies. Can't tell you how often I need that phone when the power goes out. Try calling from your cell. AND sometimes my cell doesn't get a good signal here. I pay for that too. Separately, different company altogether.
We consumers lost complete control. Actually, we just handed it over. "Yes master, we understand that what once always worked is now unavailable and obsolete. The magic air pictures now must be paid for. It takes many dollars to keep Snooki happy. We will keep paying more and more. How can we now live without the real housewives of any city anywhere?"
I am willing to give it my all.
Just sayin'
LBB
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