IT'S THE MOST WONDERFUL TIME OF THE YEAR...or is it?

As a life long Christmas lover, I look forward to the holidays with Glee. Not the TV show, the actual feeling of glee. This year, again, due to family illness and travails that go along with it the holidays don't seem that appealing. Yet as the day draws ever closer I cannot help but get a little caught up in the revelry, the music, the incredibly sappy movies.

If it weren't for people I would still really enjoy the season.

A few days ago I was on a nostalgia Facebook site about my hometown. A gentleman prefaced his post with "RANT WARNING". He went on to vent about the, "taking Christ out of Christmas", myth perpetrated by Fox News. The gentleman's point was that Happy Holidays is as good as Merry Christmas and covers the period from Thanksgiving through New Year's Day and included Chanuka and Kwanzaa.

Some of the Christians on the site went a little loco. "Jesus is the reason for the season". "There should be NO timid Christians". "I am a BETTER person than YOU for I am a TRUE Christian".

It was at this point I could not hold my tongue and told one of the Christians that she was simply mean. She aimed her venom at me. She accused me of being BOSSY and probably a DEMOCRAT. That is true. I can be bossy and I am a Democrat. I didn't find the Christians on the thread very, you know, Christian. They seemed hateful and so holier than thou. It's the new Christian movement. "We don't like you unless you are like us". I believe that lesson was part of the sermon on the mount, "and the Lord said, 'I do not love many people. I only love those who, like me, are perfect, sinless.  Ye of slanted faith will suffer miserably in death for verily I do not care for thee'."

I have seen Christians carrying the Christmas banner. I have seen Atheists who don't want any Christmas or Jewish related decorations on public property. Public schools have a terrible time satisfying all the parents of children of all faiths. I see homes decorated with Menorahs. The Jewish holidays are more accurate in terms of the history. There are written and oral histories that support their faith. Christians do not have that luxury. There is no record of a census in Bethlehem that would bring travelers to town. There is no record of Magi searching for a King. There isn't even corroborating accounts in the Gospels.

There have been studies and speculation about when and where Christ was born. History reports that Christians moved the celebration of Christ's birth to coincide with an existing pagan winter celebration. The idea being that eventually the pagans would turn to Christianity. They did. Constantine was the Emperor who converted to Christianity. He, like so many, felt everyone should worship the same. He converted many of the empire's citizens to Christian. As the church became politically powerful, man sort of tweaked the teachings of Christ to fit the political climate or to gain power. They threw out books of the Bible they didn't like. They turned Christian rules into law to keep the population under their control. They taxed people in the name of God. That pretty much went against the teachings of the man they call Christ. "Render unto Caesar..." and all that.

Santa Claus entered the picture when St, Nickalaus brought little gifts for children. As I understand it he left gifts in children's shoes. Pockets would have been better. In Europe several versions of Santa Claus appeared with different traditions and meanings but it was still in connection with the birth of Christ. Through time Christmas, Santa and December 25 became connected. So we celebrate the birth of Jesus and Santa's visit all on the same day.

The most wonderful time of the year has become a battle ground. It isn't just the retail wars, it is the war among faiths and non faiths that are beginning to ruin Christmas for me. It is supposed to be a joyous time of year to bestow love, care and blessings on your friends and family. I don't resent a Hindu or a Buddhist wishing me the blessings of their faith. Why should people be offended if  I say Merry Christmas?

In a card shop the other day I witnessed a man lose his cool when the clerk wished him a Merry Christmas. "I am not here for CHRISTMAS. I don't celebrate Christmas, I try to avoid all things Christmas!"  Wow. God bless us everyone, dude. The clerk told me they couldn't decide what to say after any purchase. I suggested they simply say, "thanks for the money".

There is, of course, the brouhaha over saying "Happy Holidays" as though that is a slap in the face to the baby Jesus. "Happy Holidays", has been a greeting for as long as I can remember. Now suddenly it is supposed to be politically incorrect to use that as a greeting because it takes Christ out of Christmas. No, it does not. Holiday is derived from Holy Day. Happy Holidays covers all the holidays from Thanksgiving, which is barely recognizable, to New Years Day. Thank you Fox News. We didn't have enough to divide us already.

I refuse to get caught up in the pettiness. This is how is should be:  Santa should be for children. Christmas should be for Christians who celebrate the birth of their Lord by rejoicing and reveling in His majesty and glory. Buying a tree, ornaments and gifts for everyone you know or feel obligated to should be called...End of the Year Retail Bonanza.

I believe that New Year's Eve is the dumbest holiday on earth. It celebrates changing the calendar. That's it. People go party, get ridiculously drunk and make resolutions to change their lives tomorrow, right after their hangover is better. People feel depressed or left out if someone doesn't toast them or kiss them at midnight. It's a holiday that celebrates nothing. However, I don't get angry and rip people's heads off when they say, "Happy New Year". I don't get peeved when people say, "what are you doing for New Year's Eve?" I don't celebrate it. I don't go out. I don't go party. I just try to remember what year it is. It is a completely man made holiday that celebrates time. That is what birthdays are for in my opinion.

Maybe we could all adopt this attitude about Christmas. People are merely sharing their love for a holiday whether they say Merry Christmas or Happy Holidays not attempting to offend.

Whatever you celebrate or do not celebrate, I wish you all the best. I wish you health and happiness. I wish for us all a better world. I wish for harmony and friendship. I wish for mankind to be just exactly that, kind.

Peace and the joy of the season be with you and yours,
Lillybell Blues

TODAY IS ONE OF THOSE DAYS

There are days I feel paralyzed. Today is one of those days. I have spent large portions of my life waiting. Waiting for peace, waiting for contentment, waiting for, "ahh, done and done, everything is perfect". It is with a great deal of disappointment that I realize that moment will never come.

"You are so negative", I hear many of you thinking. I don't see it that way. I am a realist. I am tired of expecting contentment only to find hell. I spent my youth waiting to be an adult. It looked so easy. It seemed the perfect age - all grown up. Make your own decisions, get up when you want, go to bed when you want, work where you want, make some money and do what you want when you want. Never happens. The only people who live like that are imaginary. Or retired rock stars.

There is no such thing as living life for yourself. There is no such thing as getting everything you want. There is only working hard to get close. Then waiting for the rug to be yanked out from under you.

We've all had those moments. Life is good and in a flash it is not. That moment that changes your reality. That moment you always measure by. The moment that makes life drag on forever. One hour of hell is fifty time longer than one hour of fun. Why?

Why does horror grind to painful, slow motion agony and joy is over before you know it? Because life is a bitch. That is the best explanation I can figure. Good news is lightning fast and bad news is slow, echoing disbelief that never ends.

My life seems full of those moments. The very happy ones are fuzzy at best. The horrid are etched like leaded crystal. You have cancer. You cannot ever have children. There is no money. I don't want to be married to you anymore. We found his body. There is no cure. It will be a long, painful journey. Make all the decisions, their lives depend on it.

The last few years have been intensely difficult for my family. My parents decline into dementia turned our lives upside down. Mom is all but gone while dad is still there but no one I recognize as my father. I am consumed by guilt over their condition. No reason to feel guilty but it comes with the territory. There is nothing as helpless as the knowledge that your parents are the living dead. The people that raised you are gone yet people with their bodies live on.

There is no escape. Time to take pleasure in the little things, The sun shining through the autumn leaves. A cardinal at the bird feeder. A song in my head that I love. A laugh. Nothing is more hopeful than a laugh.

It's the holiday season. Friends and family gathering to share their happiness and joy. Thanksgiving is also my mother's 85th birthday. While you are with your kids and grand kids I will be watching someone feed my mom and explaining to my dad why I haven't seen him in a while. "Been dismantling your life, dad. Been deciding what's is important enough to keep and what is just trash. Been trying to figure out how to make your money last so you don't have to live in a horrid place. Been praying for mother to die so she will have her dignity back. Been trying to remember what it was like before you became my children and wondering how much longer we will all be in this hell."

Forgive me in advance if I show little sympathy for how difficult and hectic your holidays are. The grand kids were difficult? That's too bad. Mom was a bitch? That sucks for you. Mother-in-law brought that horrible salad? That does just ruin everything.

Enjoy your holidays. Try and capture the moments of joy and hold them close to your heart. Hug your parents a little harder. Appreciate even the moments of difficulty. I wish I had appreciated the joyous moments in my life more. As it is now all I see is the tunnel, the light isn't even shinning yet.

If you have joy to share, please call me. Make me laugh, it is the best gift.  If you need to whine, I won't be available this year.

LBB

PLEASE DO NOT LOOK THE OTHER WAY

The scandal at Penn State did not shock me. It made me sick and appalled me to my core but it did not shock me. How sad is that? I have become so jaded by society as we know it that no level of depravity makes me go, "OH MY GOD", anymore. I just become more disgusted that we live in this world.

The culture of football is all about, "Coach". Coach is God. Coach is more important and pulls more weight that any other human in a players life. They start 'em out young to revere Coach. That is a lot of power over young men and young boys. Much like in the Catholic Church. "Father" is the man in the perish. Father is the representation of God on earth. You do what Father says.

The Boy Scouts of America have had similar issues but not to the degree as the Penn State and Catholic Church scandals because scout leaders aren't presented as some sort of God. They are usually men or women with their own children involved in scouting. This arrangement seems to be healthier than an all men, the leader is God kind of scenario. I would imagine that some where in scouting there is information about being abused and how to get help and now to help someone else.

My fury about Penn State is that someone witnessed an act of forced sodomy. They told the Coach. That kind of thinking is so skewed. First you help the victim, then you hold the son of a bitch perp until the police arrest him. Period. TELL COACH? Why? It shouldn't even be an option.

In the Catholic Church their mission was to cover up the fact that with a certain degree of frequency Priests liked fucking little boys and/or girls. What to do? Call the Monsignor, the Bishop, a Cardinal, the Pope? Cure the Priest at a retreat for Priests who have gone astray and move him around so  he can ruin more lives? NO, call the police. They are criminals. God can't fix that.

When I was a young teenager one of my best friends was a great diver. He took lessons in Arlington at the college there. His younger brother, a swimmer, had lessons at the same pool. Their sister and I would go to their practice, she to drive and me to hang out. Their dad always warned us about one of the coaches. "He's a perv. He likes little kids...stay away from him". We did. Several years ago the coach we were warned about was arrested. That gave him decades to abuse kids. Why didn't someone call the police on this person? It was obviously well known they guy was a creep and yet no one considered his future victims.

There seemed to be a culture of, "don't tell, it will ruin the abusers life". This seemed especially true if the pedophile liked boys. Boys don't cry. Boys take it like a man. Boys get over it.

No, they don't. No one gets over being abused. Male, female, young or old. Abuse at the hands of a stranger or some one you trust is damaging in ways that go way beyond the physical pain. The emotional scars rarely heal.

When pedophiles end up in prison rumor has it that they are the target of many rapes. This reality is fodder for comedians. Prison rape isn't funny. Rape isn't funny. Rape isn't sexy. Rape is not about sex. Rape is about power and control. Never is it funny. Much like, "she stabbed him in the eyes 500 times and sliced his penis into 4 equal sections after he raped her", isn't funny.

So, here are a few rules. No human should ever be so revered for anything that their actions are covered up to protect their abuse. Abuse of children should be so vilified that every human would stop some one in the act. If a coach, priest, minister, teacher, any human with power in your child's life wants to spend the night with them the answer is NO. HELL NO. Be a volunteer in your children's activities and get to know and observe the people in their lives.

I recently saw Darrell Hammond of SNL fame in an interview. He was horribly abused by his mother as a child. He has been tormented by demons since his abuse. They removed him from the offices of SNL in a straight jacket. He stopped me with one sentence, "monsters don't have witnesses". These people are clever and so dangerous you have to look for them. They will not often reveal themselves.

We all have to be advocates for the innocent. I am not saying there should be a witch hunt but I am saying don't be fooled. Monsters are so smooth on the outside. They hide their evil so well or are devious enough to surround themselves with people who turn a blind eye. That multiplies the horror of the victims. That is being victimized twice. Can you imagine how trapped you would feel? How worthless you would feel to be abused and ignored?

Children should know the kindness of strangers - not the indifference.

Please don't look the other way,
Lillybell Blues

IS THIS ALL THERE IS?

The days I spend at my parents house I wonder, "what on earth were they thinking?"  Apparently my parents suffered a real fear of running out of paper bags and aluminum pans. The kind that Sara Lee coffee cakes come in. If these two items were of monetary value I would be rich beyond Bill Gate's dreams.

I am the only in-town child of an only child. My mom had no siblings and tons of "family heirlooms". My dad is one of 7 children of parents who had food and dirt. My parents lived in their house from 1963 until the end of 2010. In these decades they inherited my mom's "heirlooms" and my grandfather's Hamilton Beach milkshake maker from Murph's Bar and Grill and an Olympia Beer sign from the same establishment. My mother inherited everything from her parents and many things from both grandparents. YAY.

I have found enough hand stitched linens and quilts to need a cedar lined house. I have ALL the family photos. There are portraits of people I have never seen or met. Some of these photos were damaged in a flood in 1939.

My mother's mink stole makes a total of three furs I will have in my closet that will never be worn. They go with the sable hat that will never be worn.

Mainly though my parents kept odd things. Aside from the paper bags and aluminum pans there are Kleenex in every pocket, every drawer, every purse and at one point covered all the table tops. I found boxes of Kotex pads. My mom is 84. She had a hysterectomy when I was in 9th grade. I found a phone book circa 1963 from Owensboro, Kentucky. The phone book wasn't in the back of a closet but in a drawer with approximately 100 Kleenex, used of course.

My dad's office is a treasure drove of things from his life. Presentations on wing structure and flutter tolerance. Letters from Generals thanking him for his help on certain projects. Confidential photos from the 1960s of missile testing. Information about a MIG that was ferried to an Air Force base in the 1970s by a pilot who wanted to defect. Dad and his team took the plane apart to get secrets. I knew none of this. He was just a man with a slide rule and the ability to fix anything.

My parents apparently belonged to the book of the month club in the 1940s. They have hundreds of books. "Look through those, we found money stashed in my parent's books", is the advice many people have given me. My parents stashed Kleenex, book marks and old letters from people I don't know in their books.

They kept our report cards. Thanks for that. "Acts before thinking" was my biggest challenge. I did, however, "work and play well with others". That's because I wasn't thinking.

My dad kept every tool he ever purchased including ones that are now broken and rusty. He left a hydroponic greenhouse and all the information I need to grow "hot house tomatoes". There's a money maker.

I have found receipts from purchases of clothing in the 1960s. I have found checks noted as "feed for the arc". I have found copies of tax returns addressed to Truman. I found my dad's Navy medical file. He weighed 133 pounds in 1943.

The purpose of this message is: CLEAN OUT YOUR STUFF. Do it now. Don't leave 7,000 microwaveable containers from those frozen dinners. Don't leave every Christmas card you ever received. Don't leave every unfinished project you ever started. You children will thank you. Maybe not thank you but they won't curse you.

Now, what to do with 3,000 bobby pins...

Lillybell Blues

DEAR HIGHER BEING or ENLIGHTENED INTELLIGENCE

I am a mere mortal confused by life. As I approach the age of 60 at what seems like light speed, I cannot help but wonder....who, who wrote the books of love?

I don't mean romantic love. We all know what that is. It is the hokey pokey of the heart:
You put your best foot forward, you take your best foot out...

I mean who wrote the books of "LOVE YOUR FELLOW MAN?"  All these years, more than half a century, I assumed it was You. I am beginning to think it was mere mortals with great ideas and then other mere mortals said, "the hell with that, it's all about me". You know the books I mean, The Torah, The Bible, The Koran. The Kama Sutra, no....that's wrong.

The great books of great religions, the writings of great philosophers and poets, the testimonials from people who lost their  beloved child, spouse, sibling, friend, parent; the words always amount to LOVE while you are alive. Don't be petty. Don't be afraid. Just LOVE before it is too late. Be kind. Be thoughtful. Be generous. Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.

Today we are a society full of hate, greed, false prophets and epic propaganda. Love your fellow man? More like shoot to kill your fellow man. Want to help that stranger? Well....could be a scam to get you close enough to rob, rape, beat, kill you. Want to give money to the beggar on the corner? Well...it would tie up traffic, and besides he looks, you know, dirty. If he cleaned up a little and didn't look so crazy I might. Want to support that charity? Might be one of those, "for every dollar given at least 1% actually helps someone" charities.

Don't like that country? They look threatening? Do they have something you might want? Do you not like their religion? Do you find their culture odd? Start a war. Kill as many as you can. Make the world a better place by eliminating what you hate. Or what you don't understand. They are only humans, we got lots of those.

Don't like that political idea? Make sure everyone knows it's not just against what you believe convince people that it is EVIL. Make them want to kill people for your beliefs. Shoot them or humiliate them or give them enough rope to hang themselves. Then mock them. Kick them when they are down. That's humanity.

Don't like THAT segment of the community? Well, hold them back. Give them less. Don't ever provide them with the same quality of services and opportunities that THE OTHER people have. That would be so, ew, fair. Keep them in their place. It's better for everyone that is like me.

HOW DID WE GET HERE? In Washington our very childish Congress recently spent time, money and effort in affirming that since 1956 we have trusted in God. "In God We Trust", is our motto and we will kick your ass to prove it. Just give us the chance to crush you under our feet you dregs of society. You huddled masses, you tired, you poor, you hungry. You make us sick.

So, Higher Being, Enlightened Intelligence, how did we get so stupid? Where exactly did we go wrong? Or is it that mankind is truly evil and You are but a marketing ploy to get people to go along with whatever far left or far right field notion comes along? Not that I dare feel I should tell You what to do, but in Your place I would smite us over and over and over until we got it correct.

We live in a world where people die by the thousands from hunger, lack of water and diseases that are easily cured and where individuals have billions of dollars. People die in war every day and other people profit from those deaths. People kill each other in the streets over territory. People use other people in degrading and horrible ways for fun and profit.

We have taken the Garden of Eden and turned it into a sick, twisted web of deceit and corruption. Yay humans! We have denigrated our fellow man with willfulness and hate. We have clearly drawn lines and no one better cross them or life could be a living hell.

So, who did write the books of LOVE? And why are they so difficult to interpret? Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.

How hard could it be?
Lillybell Blues

IN GOD WE TRUST, THE GOP CANDIDATES NOT SO MUCH

I love a great book. A story so well written that you get absorbed in the lives of the characters. The twists in the plot leave you surprised. A book so wonderful that you don't want to reach, "the end".

Election season is like that only I cannot wait to reach "the end". Candidates are so entertaining and they provide those surprise twists and turns. This season we are limited to just GOP candidates out there shaking hands and kissing babies. They have provided twists and turns but still no real interest. Why? They are poorly drawn characters.

Let's begin with Sarah Palin. She is the smartest non-candidate in history. Not only is she not running, she never intended to run. But she kept everyone guessing to keep her celebrity candle glowing. She loved to rally a crowd with her unique take on American History. She followed the actual candidates around in a huge bus. She usurped their media time with her presence. People just had to know what Sarah was thinkin' and sayin' and feelin' about God and guns and freedom.

She made a fool out of herself with her inability to understand that America wasn't a nation in the 1770s. When Paul Revere made his famous ride it had nothing to do with the second amendment as we had nothing to amend. We were British subjects. But that statement was just a nit. From a nit wit. People sent her PAC lots of money to help her decide to run. She took the money and ran right back to Fox News to comment on how, you betcha, Obama has ruined the nation. She and the family got a nice vacation; Sarah got to be on the TeeVee and no one got pregnant.

Then Michelle Bachmann held the attention of the GOP loyalists. She is pretty and apparently empty. If eyes are the window to the soul, hers is missing. She is married to a man who cures gay people. He's not an M.D. for the gay and lesbian community, he saves them from their homosexuality. Awesome. That's what we need in America. Someone to cure the gays so we don't have anymore severe weather. That's a two for one deal right there. A know nothing president to keep us stagnant and a first husband to control the weather through saving the gays. Only in America. Michelle should take a little break from the campaign trail and study some geography. According to Mrs. Bachmann, Libya is now part of the middle east. All Muslims live in the middle east.

Governor Rick Perry. He is my governor. Not that I voted for him but I stand nearly alone in the Blue part of Texas. There are approximately three democrats left in Texas. Perry wouldn't debate any of them. Now we know why. The man can't string together a sentence that makes sense. He flip-flops on the word flip-flop. He could never sing Margaritaville.

Governor Perry, you remember Howard Dean?

Mitt. Mr. Romney. He is so plastic I worry that he might melt during a long hot summer or a press conference. And, as we all know, he is a member of a cult. That means all you LDS members are cult members too. Thank goodness Mormons don't recognize Baptists. Southern Baptist Conference announced recently that most religions are cults. Not theirs. They are in the business of telling other religions what is wrong with them. How thoughtful.

Herman Cain. Talk about the big oops. The, "I did not have sexual harassment with those women", oops. Yeah, you're done. At least Jimmy Carter had the courage to admit he lusted in his heart. You could at least admit to lusting in your loins.

The rest of the field, Santorum, Gingrich, Huntsman, (the only viable candidate in the bunch), either are too boring or benign to cover. They should each get a book deal and/or public speaking engagements from their time on the campaign trail.

Let's face it, unless there is a miracle, the GOP has no chance of unseating Obama. They can vow to make him a one term president all they want. They can rail at the terrible things he has done to the nation but they have no facts. They have nothing but spewage and swagger.We had enough of that during the Bush administration.


You're welcome,
Lillybell Blues

MORE NEWS WE DON'T NEED, Kardashians included

Days like this I marvel at the lack of intelligence in the world. Not yours, of course not. Other people. Rich and suddenly famous people. I lack understanding. I lack caring.

Thank God.

Today there was "breaking entertainment news" on my local news channel. Apparently Kim Kardashian has had all the marriage she can take. All 72 days of it. Marriage is a real let down after a nationally televised wedding extravaganza. Poor Kim. How will she top this? Please don't let me find out. Maybe she should take a sabbatical from reality TeeVee and just have a little reality.

Lindsay Lohan, Lilo, Bimbo. I'm sorry, I keep hearing that she is so talented. Really? When has she been out of trouble long enough to be talented? Seems like she played Hailey Mills when she was little. OK. Then she got drunk. Then she stayed drunk. Now she is going to "express myself" by posing for Playboy. I cannot believe that no one thought of this before! It's a career saver! It's a statement! It says, "who needs talent if you look good naked?"  See Jenny McCarthy.

Michael Jackson died because he was the Rich, Spoiled King of Pop. I am sorry the man is dead. I am sorry he ruined his talent by being a drug addict. If you know the names of drugs used during surgery you have a drug problem. If you have a personal physician by your side you have a drug problem. I realize the damage this will do to LaToya's career, (we only see her when another Jackson is in trouble), but Michael killed himself one way or the other. "He didn't have a childhood". Makes it sound like he picked cotton during the depression.

"I didn't get to be a rock star". See. Nobody cares.

Dr. Murray's only crime is being a greedy doctor who wanted to hang out with Michael Jackson for tons of money and get him whatever drugs he wanted. It's called being a drug pusher with a license. Those drug pushers without a license don't get in near as much trouble. A member of my family died from a drug overdose. He bought those drugs off the street. There were no charges filed. There wasn't even a search for the drug pusher. Take Dr. Murray's medical license and accept that the King of Pop died from fame. And recklessness.

Herman Cain apparently had a little sexual harassment problem in the 90s. When will men learn to tell the truth first time? See Bill Clinton. Instead of vehemently denying the allegation and then "remembering" later on Fox News, just say, "there was a lawsuit, no charges were filed, on the advice of my lawyer I paid a small settlement. In my opinion my actions never reached the level of sexual harassment".  Then take a picture of your penis and accidentally publish it to the world. Go to rehab.

Poor Kate Mittleton. She will forever be portrayed as looking fabulous. She will never be assumed to have a brain. My goodness there has to be something beneath the pretty. Maybe the media should delve into that instead of who she is wearing, what's on her head and where she got that scar.

Michelle Obama shops at Target. Alert the media. Of course someone did. Let the woman shop in peace. If she was shopping at Central Market she would be "elitist". Shopping at Target should really not draw media attention. Had she been denied service or was arrested for shop lifting, that would be news.

The World Series is over. I am not a huge baseball fan but I got caught up in the hype. The hometown boys of summer were going to the series. Game Six was the most intense baseball I have ever watched. It was heart wrenching. Game Seven it seemed like the Rangers wanted to lose. How does that happen? How do you not get up for the last game of the year? That is like using the worst take out of a studio session and burning it forever in plastic. Or having the best dress rehearsal and a horrible opening night. Professionals don't do that.

I am a rabid Cowboy fan. There is nothing I hate more for the Cowboys than losing to the Eagles. Losing a close game in Philly can make me sad for a week. Getting our ass kicked makes me want to kick a puppy, (no puppies were hurt in the writing of this blog). This is professional football. These men makes huge amounts of money to play a game.  Maybe some of those millions should go to the fans for having to watch something that gross. C'mon Cowboys....you gotta score more points if you want to win. (Heard that little nugget from a broadcaster).

Last but not least, The Madoff family just had to write a book. Spare me. No sympathy. "We knew nothing so we wrote a book about it."  "We tried to kill ourselves with pills but instead we woke up". Bernie didn't get to be a great grifter by not trying.  Maybe he should have called in professional help. Where was Doctor Murray when you needed him?

Making friends wherever I go,
Lillybell Blues

DEMENTIA, I will never look back on this and laugh

Never fails to stun me. Whatever the person on the other end of the phone is saying. It is about my parents. One or both. They reach a plateau and seem as if they will be there for a while and then, BAM. Things are bad. Things have gone from bad, to worse, to better, to worse, to awful, to too depressing to even discuss. Today is no exception.

Last phone call I had with my parents social worker they were doing well over all. Dad was the Cary Grant of the dementia ward and mom was simply withdrawing more everyday. Mom is confined to a wheel chair or a bed. Dad is still shuffling.

Mom and dad have been married since July 1945. I was born in 1953. The social worker asked me what mom was like without dad. How did she behave during her life when she wasn't in his presence. I had no idea. Not a clue. It has been so long since I saw one parent without the other I think of them as one unit. I cannot imagine one without the other.

While mom is all but a shell, my dad cannot be without her. He has no concept of what is wrong with her. We, we being the doctors, nurses, social workers and family, don't know if this is his dementia or denial or plain stubbornness.

Got the phone call today to let me know things are worse. My dad, the man who could lecture you to death and never hit you, smacked my mom in the face. Twice. Why? She grabbed his arm. Now the question is whether or not my parents can stay together. They have been together since 1945 how can they not be together? How can I separate them?

I may have no choice since dad is now considered a danger. This isn't his first violent outburst in the dementia ward. He has knocked out windows with his fists and hit another patient prior to this last incident.

If I have to move mom to a new room, that is an additional 35 hundred dollars a month for her room. That brings their basic needs to over 10 thousand dollars a month. You do the math. That is HUGE money. What will she get for that? A bedroom and care. Dad can't have a roommate since he is considered dangerous and the only man on the ward.

Please, learn from all this information. Dementia is cruel and more expensive than you can conceive. Having two parents afflicted and who have longevity in their genes, one of my parents could outlive me. Then I don't know what would happen to them.

Talk to your parents if they are still living. Find out what they want in the event they become your children. If your parents are not living I am sorry for your loss.

I also envy you every day.
LBB

LET'S TALK ABOUT BANKS

If you were to take the space inside an almond shell, that would be the amount of banking knowledge I hold. That is the deposit/withdrawal part of banking. I completely understand that segment of the industry. The rest of it is nebulous.

OH, I know that Bank of America can lose an original power of attorney. They lost one for me, thanks for that.

Other than that I am pretty blank on the subject but as always I don't let that stand in the way of having an opinion. Or two. Or several. So, here we go.

When I first married, as in the first time, I started to learn about credit. I learned from my new husband that in order to have credit you had to borrow money. Without credit you couldn't buy a car or a house or anything you couldn't afford. THAT should have been a clue. So the objective was to borrow money from a lending institution so you could pay it back to borrow more money.

See how clear that is? Me either. Why not just save money and then buy what you need? NO, that doesn't work because life is about getting something first and then buying it. Love that car? Get it, then pay for it. Love that furniture? Get it, then pay for it. Love those clothes? Get them, then pay. See. That's how life goes. That is how finances go down the toilet.

Banks at some point decided that they should offer credit cards to accommodate our need to have things now. Banks were considerate enough to tell us how much debt we could carry by setting a limit for us. How thoughtful. That way you knew you could put ten thousand dollars on a little piece of plastic and get everything you ever dreamed of. Then you could pay for it for just a few dollars a month for just a few decades.

Banks decided that those credit cards should have nominal fees for the privilege of having one and/or large interest rates. You could charge a one hundred dollar dinner and end up paying for it three years later for only three times it's value. YAY. Such a deal. The more credit you had the more money you had, right?

No. The more credit you had the more debt you acquired. The longer it took you to pay it off the more interest you paid. Great deal for the lenders, not so much for you. So, to entice you even more they added premiums. Gimmes. Air line miles, points, cash back. The idea being to spend money you don't have to get airline tickets you can't afford that you can use during allowed flying times.

Then the banks decided that debit cards would be so convenient. Swipe that card, push debit and, bam, you are walking away with your purchase and maybe an overdraft fee. I have never used debit cards but I know people who believe in them like they are gold. They are also always in disagreement with the bank over their account balance. Why? Oops, they forgot THAT purchase or THAT payment that drafts automatically. So now spending actual money costs money.

This has all been so convenient that now the banks want to charge fees to use the money you put in their bank with the card they wanted you to use. No thanks.

OK, that is the part of banking I sort of understand.

Here is the part I don't get. The lending of HUGE amounts of money for homes and businesses. First of all buying a house requires at least seven trees for the paperwork you have to sign. Anything that convoluted has got to be suspicious. Second, the largest part of your mortgage payment is the interest. Why? Ask the lender and they will immediately start speaking finance. I don't speak finance. I speak common sense.

At some point the banks decided that you could have a house you couldn't afford by paying what you can afford now and the the mortgage would adjust, not on your schedule, theirs. Then the banks decided what the hell, let's just lend money and you merely pay the interest and when you have the money, or  hell is frozen, you pay all the principle at once. This was popular in areas like Honolulu where a shack may cost a million dollars. You pay nothing but interest until you sell the shack. You give the bank a million and you keep the rest. Great deal for the banks yet again. Those shacks don't hold their value in down economic times. You sell your million dollar shack for half it's value and you still owe the other half. Oops. That's a bitch.

Then somehow the banks all went broke at once. Fannie May and Freddie Mack vomited debt all over America so we saved them. We, the tax payers, many of whom were about to lose our homes. Banks were too big to fail. We bailed them out. Banks foreclosed on homes they knew people couldn't afford when they gave them a mortgage. Then they sat on the money too scared to do anything.

Businesses continued laying people off to survive. Good for business, bad for people. Which is ultimately bad for business because unemployed people can't buy anything. Some of the upper echelon executives in the banks took their parachutes and ran. Others stayed put to "fix" the banking industry.

They fixed it alright. They fixed it by adding more fees and lending less money. They fixed it by giving big bonus money to big boys who came up with the lame brained ideas on how to lend and get the biggest bank bang for the buck.

Well, as you have heard, people are angry at the banks and at wall street. People don't want to keep their money in the banks that screwed them in the first place. Banks are crying foul and bringing in SWAT teams to ensure that people can't take their money.

Remember, this is America. Not some European country trying to pass austerity measures. We have had austerity shoved down our throats. We have no choice but to be austere because, obviously, somewhere along the way, people started using capitalism to death. You see hoarders on the TeeVee. People who cannot throw anything away and are compelled to buy more stuff.

The banks are hoarders. They are hoarding our money. Just like the corporations who will not hire because the future is uncertain. They have the money, they just can't bring themselves to use or lend it.

Thank heaven we had visionaries somewhere in the past who threw caution to the wind. People who had faith in themselves and their country. Then came the aptly named robber barons. The government finally smacked them down so the middle class could survive. Now those of the same ilk own the government. In other words, we are screwed.

Here is what I have gleaned to fill the almond sized nugget of banking knowledge in a nutshell so to speak. If the bank wants you to do something, have this credit card, this debit card, refinance your house, deposit everything you have here, they are somehow screwing you. If the bank refuses to let you have your money, they are screwing you. If the bank refuses to lend you money because 7 years ago you missed a car payment, they are screwing you.

SO, here is my plan. One pound coffee cans buried in the yard with all my money, one can should do. Then several large dogs to roam the yard. Savings, done.

Then I plan to keep an account at a credit union to pay bills and cash checks. I will spend MONEY. I know, PhD. in "DUH" for me.

Money, spending cash. Spending paper and coin. Wow, how clever. How simple.

How unAmerican.

I am all for it,
Lillybell Blues

GURUs, yeah right

I have some very bad news. There is no such thing as a Guru with the secret to life.

I was watching, listening really, to a story on DATELINE. The, "we love to talk about murder" show. This story involved death in a sweat lodge. People followed their, "leader", their, "guru", their "teacher" into a structure to sweat. It was going to make them pure. Instead it made some of them dead.

Of course lawsuits followed. Now sweat lodges will come with a warning: "May cause profuse sweating, vomiting, heaving, thirst, hallucinations and lots of money for your Guru".

The followers of this man, those that didn't end up in the morgue or hospital, waited patiently for their leader to return after his questioning by the police so he could give them direction. WHAT? Here is some direction: get the hell away from him. You're welcome.

Remember Jim Jones? Remember those people on the west coast who all waited for the mother ship and committed suicide in their bunk beds? Remember David Koresh?

Heresthedeal.

Nothing is easy. Nothing is perfect. No one has all the answers. No one makes a better you except you. There are no pills, no rituals, no cleansing to change your life. Sorry. It's an inside job.

Expose yourself to philosophies, great thinkers, people proven by history to be, you know, geniuses. Expose yourself to different beliefs and practices. Learn about other cultures and religions. Don't ever believe anyone knows better than you. They don't. They just sell it better.

Trust yourself first. Any hint of doubt is you saying, "uh, no".  Don't ever think someone has the answer, the key or the ancient truth because really if anything was THE answer mankind would have heard by now.  Look around, we aren't doing very well as humans. No one sees the future. No one communes with the spirits even though they may be convinced that they do. Why? Because no one is "touched". No one has "enhanced" anything. They are either self worshippers or great salespeople.

I was in a bookstore the other day. There are books everywhere by everyone telling you how to be better. Joel Olsteen has another book on the shelves because he loves you so much. If he really loved you he would have said everything in his first book. He really loves you right before the holidays. I love his message, I hate his schmaltz.

Meditation is a lovely practice. If that works for you that is great. I need an off switch. I try to meditate and all I hear is tinnitus or a voice in the back of my head humming some song or making a mental note to remember something.

Prayer is a lovely practice. Time to thank the God or Gods you worship. Or to appreciate life, count your blessings, be thankful and remind yourself how small you are. It is much like meditation only focuses on a higher being instead of you.

I have known people with deep beliefs in crystals, herbs, tarot cards, Ouija boards and psychics. Yeah, not going to work. Sorry. Just won't happen. How do I know? Because that is too good to be true. Some little cards or tea leaves or a piece of plastic on a board mean nothing. They are mass produced products that mean nada, zilch, zip, zero, nothing. It's literally bogus hocus-pocus.

We have all had supernatural moments in our life. Coincidences that seem to be a sign. A feeling, a voice, a dream from beyond or from a loved one already gone. I have them. Learn to recognize them for what they are, little gifts from the universe. A love so deep it reaches through the mist to whisper in your ear.

Use your brain. Trust your instincts. Listen to you, your heart, mind and your soul. Love your God. Be kind to Mother Earth. Respect your fellow man. Avoid those who want to envelope you in their power. They only have it if you give it to them.

If you believe what I say is true and real, read it again. I don't have the secret to life either.

You're welcome,
Lillybell Blues

SPEWAGE. Refudiate that, Sarah

Spewage -  noun. the crap emitted from the mouths of talking heads, spin doctors, politicians, celebrities and bloggers. (yes, I know I emit some spewage).

Spewage. We are all surrounded by the substance. It permeates the air and fouls everything - (not my spewage).  Spewage becomes "TRUTH", or "VIRAL", or "WRONG". It reminds me of high school in some ways. The cool kids say/do/think this, the nerds say/do/think that and the kids in the middle hide because they are afraid of potential spewage. Some of these in-the-middle kids are sometimes later described as, "a nice person who kept to them self, never thought he/she would (fill in the blank with some act of carnage)". So, in a way spewage is a good thing. As long as it is recognized for what it is. Opinion. Ideas. Thoughts. What ifs. Persuasion. Lies.

Suddenly spewage is The Bible. It is carved in stone.

Um, spewage is some one's soapbox. Spewage is some one's opinion. I have a plethora of spewage and I am an expert on.....nothing.

Spewage, I feel certain, began with time as we know it. Adam and Eve probably engaged in spewage.

"Eve, God said that you should do as I say what with making you out of my rib and all".

"Oh really, when did God say that? We are equals. That is what God said, please take out the trash".

"If we are equals then you take out the trash".

"I am busy birthing Cain, make yourself useful, God said that too".

Thus began the spewage about God.

Spewage flew throughout history. Man received messages from many Gods and many mystics and just plain and simply made some up. The Greeks, Romans, Egyptians and other ancient civilizations had many Gods you could anger or please. These Gods sometimes took the form of humans or animals or mythical creatures. Spewage went along for the ride.

The Romans decided it was easier to make the Emperor a God. That worked. Much easier than creating those idols and figures out of stone. Easier to make monuments to the Emperor. Spewage went along on this adventure too. According to the Bible, spewage is responsible for the death of the innocents. That spewage is powerful stuff.

Throughout history as man struggled or flourished, spewage was there. It was there during the forming of this nation. Spewage became the prodigal child of politics. Spewage made it possible to be somebody. Slander someone with spewage and YOU can get elected. Adams did it. Jefferson did it. They did it to each other. That's right, our beloved Founding Father's understood the use and application of spewage.

Men became especially adept at spewage. After all, women were second  class citizens for centuries. Those beautiful words you heard as you were losing your virginity? Spewage. The words you said during your first wedding? Spewage. (second and third marriages too in some cases). Those words your spouse said when they came home late, drunk or both? Spewage.

Now spewage makes the world go round. Spewage convinces you that you NEED something or something is wrong with you. Spewage convinces you to vote for this person or that person. Spewage gnaws at your mind until you satisfy it's craving.

I need whiter teeth. I need to hide my wrinkles. I should not have a bald spot. I am not manly enough cause I drink the wrong beer. I need special underclothes to make me look smoother. I need to eat that piece of chocolate now that it has antioxidants. I can't eat that food, it is evil. I must have that new phone.

That politician is correct. That politician is evil. That person knows everything about politics because they say so. They person says I should vote for her. That person says I shouldn't vote that way. That person approved this message. That candidate killed 247 people with his bare hands. That candidate opened the prison door and invited all the killers back on the streets.

Celebrities got in on the spewage early in history. As soon as someone learned that their mere presence or words were cutting edge, they dived into spewage. Spewage is what keeps them in the public eye. Spewage is used to shock or apologize or both.

Let's all step away from the spewage. Try to dig through it, take what you think might be true, divide it in half and you might be close.

Spewage makes sheeple.

Just sayin'
Lillybell Blues

IN DEFENSE OF TEACHERS

I remember teachers. Not that I cared much about them. Not that I had more than one or two GREAT teachers. I was a walking example of  teacher disappointment. I tried to always be invisible in school as I hated the environment. I didn't enjoy many of my classes and I felt like forcing algebra on children was  some form of cruel and unusual punishment that should not have been allowed. I said it then, I will say it now, I have NEVER needed to know what X is. Not once. Never needed any formulas to figure out anything. I have lived almost 60 years with no help from algebra. So there.

That being said, I have come to understand how difficult it must be to teach someone as bored as I was. I can now easily see how fun it must have been for my teachers to have students who were engaged and participated and learned. I liked sitting in the back row where it was more likely my cloak of invisibility would work better. I envied the students who got it. The ones whose lives were being enhanced by whatever subject they loved. I loved study hall.

Teachers today have the worst job on earth through no fault of their own but through the crap heaped on them that does not involve teaching. What is wrong with parents? Why should teachers have to raise the students too? Why should teachers absorb the cost of students not having supplies? Why should a nation expect teachers do anything but share knowledge and maintain order in the classroom?

I am stunned at some of the stories I see on the news. Last year in one of the northeast Texas districts a boy, I think he was six, didn't want to cut his hair. There is a dress code at the child's school that required the boys to have hair that didn't touch their collar or some standard equally silly but, still, it is THE RULE. The parents piled the little boys hair on top of his head in a bun instead of making him cut his hair. The school sent him home. The parents went to the school district and threatened to sue. They were on the TeeVee talking about the boy's riiiights. Whatever, cut the kids hair or put him in another school.

Don't get me started on lawyers. That is a blog OR a book.

In Plano a law suit comes from the infamous candy cane Christmas story related gifts a child was refused permission to hand out to his friends in school. They are still in court I believe. Jesus would be so proud. If a school district has made the decision to be secular and mention no religion then, parents, set a good example and don't put your child in the middle by encouraging something you know district will not approve. Don't make your child an example of your beliefs. How brave of you. Hand out the candy canes yourself or keep your religion in your church. Or take them to your work place. "But he wanted to hand them out to his friends". Well, then take him house to house and let him give them to his friends and leave school out of it.

Sex education. Should schools teach it? Parents say yes or no but do it our way. Don't encourage kids to have sex. Don't talk about birth control, don't talk about condoms. Parents, no child has to be encouraged to have sex. It is a natural instinct. You, hopefully, have moral standards YOU impose them on your children and let the schools teach the science of sex. Not the art of, the science. You can tell them to enjoy it or hate it or whatever your personal feelings about the subject are. Of course that means you have to, you know, do your job.

Bullying in school has become a national epidemic. The schools are demonized for not doing enough. Bullshit. Bullying behavior is learned from your parents. Oh yes it is. Parents teach your children some respect. How about you set good examples and not be children yourselves? How rude of me. I know. I have met parents that I cannot believe the universe allowed to reproduce. Hate spewing, mean, ill tempered rubes who raise their children to be exactly the same way. Thanks, society doesn't have enough ignorance.

My parents were the epitome of NOT being hateful or mean spirited. I got a lecture I didn't understand when I called someone a queer at the age of 11. I meant not cool, I meant not hip, I meant socially different. My parents explained to me that "queer" was an ugly word. DON'T SAY IT. That was all I needed to hear. I didn't understand it was a rude term meaning homosexual, I didn't know what homosexual was, but I never used the word in public again.

Teachers are expected to meet state requirements, federal standards, work for little money and spend their free time and money helping students who cannot or do not keep up with the class. They work weekends. They support extra curricular activities. They are expected to be perfect, no flaws at work or in their private life. Parents have handed most of their responsibilities over to institutions. Day care, school, church, community activities, etc. Parents work and squeeze in their kids when and where they can. Parents divorce and drag their children back and forth from one house to another. Parents bad mouth each other in front of their children. Parents want to party at the club, at the bar, hang out, be cool. Parents want to be popular with their children's friends. Parents show respect for each other, don't give a damn about whether or not you are the popular parent. Raise your children to be decent and respectful of others. That is your job.

Teachers want to give your children their knowledge. They want to use the education many are still paying for to enhance your child's life. They want to make your children better. Not raise them, not discipline them, not socialize them. Teach them. Please prepare your children for that opportunity.

The next politician or candidate or anyone who opines about how easy teachers have it will hear from me. Scary, I know. A childless, former rotten student who pays school taxes. I didn't take advantage of the help teachers tried to give me. I didn't learn the things in school that I have since taught myself because I didn't like being ignorant. If you think for one second that walking into a classroom of 20 to 30 students is easy I suggest you do it for a week. If at the end of that week you still think being a teacher is a cake walk, you need more education.

You're welcome,
Lillybell Blues

STUPID IS AS STUPID DOES, f.gump

There are days when I venture out into the world and think, "where are the smart people?" While I do not consider myself a genius I can pretty much navigate a day without too much confusion.

Apparently, that puts me in the minority.

I am a people watcher, can't help it. I think we all are at heart. Not voyeurs just curious about other people, how it would be to walk in an other's shoes. Not literally, that is like bowling in the 1950s.

Wonder if they had massive outbreaks of foot fungus in that decade?

Here is what I have learned from my observations. Most people think they are the only human on earth. They are encased in a "me" bubble when they are in public. Behind the wheel of a car people think they are invisible and they assume that everyone else is watching the road because they are not. Stopping in the middle of the road because they are lost? Can't find their lipstick? Need to scratch something really private? Not sure but I see it frequently. Usually it is someone confused by the road or just in general.

Drive around the airport and you will witness this phenomenon.

I admit that the signage for DFW must have been installed by the lowest bidder or newbies at TxDOT. 121 north/183 east is a death trap entrance/exit anyway.  Add in directions like, "121 North DFW North Entrance, 183 DFW South Entrance" and it is a stop and go WTF???

Approaching DFW on southbound 121, 635 merges right before the signs: Dallas 183,  Ft Worth 121 South, 183. DFW, with arrows pointing every direction, and "GOOD LUCK" . They added the good luck sign for the duration of the construction that is some form of torture so severe people who live east of Grapevine refuse to drive it. Leave it to the amateurs. The result is like ice skating by people who have never skated before. Lots of falling, stopping, holding on and sitting because you cannot move. FOR MILES.

Let's say you are a visitor to our Messtroplex and you need to get to the airport. How the hell are you supposed to know north or south entrance? You just want to get to the airport and miles away you are already stumped. North or South? Didn't know there was a choice, shit. Slam on the brakes. Is that arrow my lane for DFW or one over? Is it two? Why are people moving to the right? Should I do that?  Did that sign say....missed it. Shit everyone is moving left, why?  Slam on the brakes.

Then there are the, "oh yes I can text, talk, adjust the tunes, comb my hair and feel up my girlfriend at the same time" drivers. Uh, no, you can't. You are a menace, get off the road. Do it now. Really. And pull up your pants.

I see parents, or care givers of children, turn around in obvious anger and yell at the child and/or look for something that the child dropped. All while driving 70 mph and talking on a phone. Hey, pullover, fix your child's problem and then drive. I know, such a pain to get out of people's way and maybe not kill your child.

And not just the roads, the world.

I was in the nail salon yesterday having my ooh la la mani/pedi, (Princess...yes, I know), and I watched the shoppers go in and out of one of the anchor stores in the mall where I get my Princess fix. No kidding, 4 out of 5 people were on a phone. Really? How much do you need to talk to someone before you go to Macy's? Those not talking on a phone were stoned, I mean lost. Or appeared to be.

Groups of moms with their strollers were like roadblocks for those needing to talk and shop. Three abreast in their own little baby world. "He said a word yesterday, 'bee'."  "She said 'bee' before she was born". "The twins can pull themselves up and work an equation!". Whatever, move. All babies are cute and gifted....move your tiny butts and let the rest of walk through the world for just a minute.


Big box hardware stores, don't even get me started. Too late. People stand dead center in an aisle and stare at one spot like they are waiting for a message from the gods of home improvement. Hello? Can you meditate somewhere else? They are waiting for help, which you know ain't comin' if you have ever had a question in one of those stores. "I need a 7/8s flange device that will connect the thingy to the dealie", response from employee, "uhhh". Holy cow, take it to the side please and let me find a damn light bulb. Thank you soooo little.

One afternoon I was searching for something for my bathroom during the months long remodel. A family was on the same aisle. Mom, dad and screaming little girl. SCREAMING. Dad said, and I quote, "OK, we are leaving you here til you can behave", and walked out of the child's sight. After my eardrums were ruptured and bleeding they did come back for their child. She learned that mom and dad are assholes and they should have learned that their daughter was tired and needed and nap not a tour of the plumbing aisle.

Not that I am judgmental. I am supremely judgmental, there is a difference. Good grief people, look around you. We are not alone. There are others who need to go and do and some of them need to hurry. Some of them need to focus. All of them need you to get out of the way. Mom and dad lied when they said, "when you grow up you can do whatever you want". No you can't.

Surprise.

You're welcome,  :)
LBB

99 PERCENT. THE MATH IS SO EASY, I CAN DO IT.

One of my least favorite expressions...you do the math. No thanks, we would be here til the end of time. However, I have an honorary PhD. in THE 99% occupying the nation. Allow me to explain.

I know how happy this makes most of you.

I was born a lower middle class child. That was a pretty good deal in the 1950s. Toys were simple, TV was black and white, choices of everything were limited. You received something, you used it until you outgrew it or it broke. If you broke it you didn't get another one. As I reached age 9, my dad's employer got a huge government contract and we moved up to the middle class.

Life there wasn't much different. It was bigger but all in all we still lived like we had in our smaller home. We did get another car for a total of two. WOW, we were living high on the hog. Actually, the government. General Dynamics would not have existed without government contracts. It was a comfortable but not lavish lifestyle. The only problems occurred when the contracts would run out and people got pink slips. Employed one day, unemployed the next. My dad was lucky in that he was never laid off. He did, however, suffer, and I mean suffer, the worry and anxiety of not knowing if he would have a job tomorrow.

I graduated from high school and got my first job. I took home $65.00 dollars a week. That didn't last long. Then I got another, better job. I took home $107.00 a week. Oh yes, I was living large. OK, I was eking out a living with a roommate and a car that was a decade old with no air conditioning. I had rats in my house. BIG rats. They were afraid of nothing. They ate whatever they wanted. Come home from work and find a plant gone. Not missing, eaten.

Then I had a small cancer problem. The kind that requires surgery. I had no insurance. Depression is lying in a hospital bed for eight days, (this was when they didn't send you home with a band aid and "good luck"), wondering how on earth you will survive. How would I pay my medical bills? My job was gone. I was poor. I was broke. I was unemployed and needed six weeks recovery time so my insides didn't spill everywhere.

Life sucked.

I got a REAL job. The corporate kind. Fortune 500 company kind with a BENEFITS PACKAGE. I could now get sick and die and it would be paid for. I didn't make much money but the benefits were great. The vacation time was great. The pressure was tremendous and the requirements to stay employed were tough. Be very good at your job or be doomed to be entry level forever.

I climbed the ladder a couple of rungs. I made a little better money. I heard all the reasons why a one percent raise was good in this economy, (1987 the economy tanked too). I heard how lucky we, the employed, were. I heard that I had SO much potential and SO much opportunity that I needed to consider that and not worry so much about the pay. I would be rewarded in the end.

I really liked having some money though. I was not all that excited about my insurance except for the dental package. I was hoping to NOT learn how well the hospitalization worked. I had a 401K before I knew what one was. It was a matching 401K. Unfortunately, I couldn't afford to put more than "none" in my 401K. My take home pay lasted until I got paid again. Paycheck to paycheck. I wasn't too in debt after a while. I was not going forward financially either.

I got recognition awards. I got plaques and trophies. Sometimes I got recognition money, you pay tax on that. Twice. Once when you receive it and again at the end of the year as it is considered income. Thanks. I got great reviews and raises. Small raises. Five percent was my largest raise ever. Wow, try not to faint. Taxes ate that right up.

That's life. That's corporate life. I was not rolling in dough but I wasn't suffering anymore. That was nice. After a decade I started looking at all the things I had done to improve the business. Things that had rolled out across the nation. Projects that saved the company lots of money in the long run when successfully implemented. I didn't feel compensated. Neither did anyone else.

One day I met a nice man. He was much higher up in the same corporation. I retired. We got married. One day shortly before we married he received a check in the mail from our corporation. It was his bonus. Bonus? Say what? I didn't know there was an executive bonus program. That was never mentioned in meetings. No one posted the bonus plans for executives. They posted everything thing we worker bees did, had or would get. We were open books. I looked at the check.

It was more money than my annual take home pay.

I flipped out. Even though I was no longer an employee I wanted to riot. How on earth could anyone justify that action? I know how hard people work in an entry level position. They get all the crap and have to navigate it well. The executives work hard. I am not taking away what they have to accomplish and the pressure they feel. However, they cannot execute anything alone. That takes workers. Workers that make the executives eligible for bonuses.

"How do you sleep at night?" I asked. "How can you let people have penny ante raises and spend this money without being struck by lightning?" Well, of course, these decisions were way above him. He finally reached the pay grade level in the corporation that included the bonus plan. He had worked very hard for many years. Yeah, me too. He made more money in a bonus? That wasn't right. Period. Not right at all. If there is money for executives there is money for the people who make them look good.

Apparently, I was not understanding. Bonus money and raise money were not out of the same accounting pot so to speak. Nice Man went on to explain that in order to retain good executives it was common to have a bonus plan. It was a perk, a way to say, "you make this company better".

So is a pay raise. What a bunch of upper echelon drivel.

"People can't pay RENT and you guys get bonuses? That seems fair to you?".

We had a long discussion about how business worked. Executive compensation made the world go round and the company healthier. Headquarters felt it necessary to retain their best people. The latest CEO was guaranteed millions of dollars to STAY or GO.

What? Paid to GO? Yes, just how it's done. In this particular company's case the new CEO changed so many business processes and cut so much man power he was given his contracted 60 million to get out. He tanked the company stock. People lost their jobs, many people. Executives took pay cuts and lost those bonuses. The former CEO got rich.

I started paying close attention to business news. This was happening everywhere. CEOs had parachutes WHEN and IF they screwed the pooch so to speak. How nice for them. How horrible for companies. These CEOs were the same people who would speak about personal responsibility, accountability and being loyal workers.

Banks and lenders started making everything so easy. Buy a car. Get credit cards. Buy the American Dream. A house and another car. Have children. Put them in daycare because you will need two incomes to support the American dream.

Oops, there was the Enron problem. And bank mergers. And corporate mergers. That creates two people for every position. Dot Coms took over wall street. Companies that produced nothing became worth billions.

Bernie Madoff got his day in court. He was/is the poster child of greed. Lending houses tanked. Fannie May, Feddie Mac, the housing industry, POOF, bye bye economy.

Who does the government save? The people who tanked the economy as they were too big to fail.

Corporations must satisfy wall street. Overhead is cut. That translates to people. The lucky keep the jobs and do the work of three or four people. The rest of the employees get nothing. The Company P&L looks better, wall street is happy, investors invest. The rich get richer, the rest get screwed.

The People didn't do that. Greed, lies, questionable money management at the top levels in business and government did that. Lack of industry regulation did that. Wars did that, they cost money you know. People lost jobs, homes, lives. Greed and lies fed on the misery.

The People were supposed to say "oh well, that's life, them's the breaks, homeless can't be too bad. The government might help us."

Not without an address they don't.

This is America. We were born of revolution. However, this time around we don't have an enemy. We only have each other. Us and them. The government and media have done an excellent job of making us Red or Blue. We have no centrists. We have no one with any sense of One Nation.

Greed wins.

Now, I suggest we all open up a history book or two and read a little about other nations, societies, governments and empires that have crumbled. You will see many similarities. Read about The Roman Empire. Read about France, their revolution. Read about America. Learn about what we were made of.

We are now like dogs cowed by a cruel owner. Yes, master, I will obey. I will also lick your hand and wag my tail. Someday, however, I will bite you out of a natural sense of survival.

That's what the Occupy movement is all about. It's the growl before the snap. Wake up. Don't do as I say, don't do as I do. Educate yourself and decide where you want America to be in ten years. You want to be armed in your homes waiting for the hungry and the angry to get to you? Or do you want to demand better from the decision makers in business and government? You want to live through the Better Depression? (Great was already taken). You want to stand in soup lines? You want to depend on the kindness of strangers with handouts?

This should NOT be US and THEM. It should be US. When one falls we all fall. When we let one die, we all die. When one needs help, we all need help. When one succeeds, we should all succeed. Not socialism. Not Communism. Humanism.

We are the government, of the People, by the People, for the People. Not business, not the Supreme Court, not Congress, not The President. WE THE PEOPLE want change from the greed, lies and party politics.

Time to wake up 1%. Some of you should be in prison for your business practices. You achieved your wealth from this nation. The rights granted you here. The opportunities afforded you here. You got nowhere all on your on. Not one among us has.

You're Welcome,
Lillybell Blues

FREE SPEECH, FREE PRESS. HOW ABOUT HONESTY?

When I was growing up during the 1950s, I knew the world was a scary place. I knew there were dangers, even those above and beyond my mother's long list of things that can kill you. However, you got the truth about the world on television, in newspapers and in magazines. There were no "sides" in journalism. There was not a "left media" and a "right media". There was Walter Cronkite on CBS, Chet Huntley and David Brinkley on NBC and I think Harry Reasnor was on ABC. They reported the news of the day. Facts. Checked and double checked. Sources researched and as close as they could get to it the truth went on the air. Thirty minutes and we were informed. Not swayed, informed.

Deeper truth was in the newspaper and full coverage and lots of detail in magazines. At our house we were Cronkite people, Ft. Worth Star Telegram, morning and evening editions and Time, Life and Post magazines. The magazine subscriptions changed a bit over the years and we lost the evening edition of the paper as it went the way of home delivery for milk and diaper services.

As a child I sat and listened to the news with my family. I looked at the magazines and read the articles that interested me. Mostly Beatles related information in my younger days. Then I would read about current events and the news of the war in Viet Nam. The Nixon administration and the lying and the cheating that actually went on in the Oval Office and in the West Wing. I was shocked that President Nixon walked away free. That didn't seem to set a good example for future holders of the office.

After Nixon resigned and the war was over I didn't pay much attention to the world or politics. I had a life to live, a job to do and tons of fun to have. I listened to the news when I was home and was moved by the sad stories, shocked by the horrific, appalled by the injustice but not especially motivated to do anything except listen and agree or be disgusted.

Then 2000 rolled around. It was a presidential election year. George W. Bush and Al Gore went head to head to be the leader of the free world. I was a Gore supporter. I liked Clinton as a President. I hated Congress wasting my money over the Lewinsky affair. I hated it more when the President did the lawyer shuffle. That speak in circles and be so specific. However, there was no way I was going to vote for W. I didn't like him as a governor and I knew he wasn't smart enough to run any country much less this one. Al Gore seemed benign but I thought he would surround himself with excellent people. I became very interested in that election and started watching all the hoopla. That was when I learned about the new media.

Every one I knew who supported Bush, that was quite a few, seemed to have no reason why. They, for the most part, watched Fox News, listened to Rush and spouted the same rhetoric. The Gore supporters all watched network news or MSNBC. I was a Brokaw watcher and I loved Tim Russert on Meet The Press.

I stuck with the "mainstream" media.

This is when people went berserk. I wasn't informed enough if I watched "left wing media and read the Dallas Morning News, a liberal publication". WHAT? I had never heard such foolishness in my life. "Listen to Bret, listen to Rush, you will learn so much." So I exposed myself to Fox News.

The first thing I learned was that everyone one on the Fox News channel peddled their books. Hi, welcome to ____________, buy my book, available in stores and on line. This was journalism? Didn't seem to me that it was. Seemed to me that it was an excellent forum to sell opinions.

I listened to Rush Limbaugh for about five minutes before I thought I might shoot the radio. What on earth were people getting from this buffoon? Support? Validation? Good heavens, he seemed a menace to society.

I was amused that information on FOX NEWS passed for anything except a GOP love fest. Seemed to me it should have been named, "The Conservative Opinion Channel". The hard hitting Bill O'Reilly made me laugh. He approached everything I watched from the, "I am correct you are stupid", angle. That is hard hitting journalism at it's best. When O'Reilly interviewed Obama during Super Bowl halftime this past February I was surprised there was a room in the White House big enough to hold O'Reilly's ego. He would ask the President a question and answer it for him. Repeatedly. Why did Obama even sit for that? I would have politely declined and watched the game upstairs in the residence. And tried not to choke on a pretzel.

One thing I could not help but notice was that all the women on FOX were blond and leggy. It's an important requirement for a journalist. The men, however, seemed to have no physical standard to meet. That seemed true of most "news" channels. Pretty women and regular men.

I am sick of there being any side to media. Anyone who allows a broadcast to show bias without announcing the information as an editorial is not a journalist. The FCC should do it's job and stop counting the number of times children can be offended by something the children's parents should control. The FCC should insist that "news" be precisely that. A summary of events of the day. It isn't interpretation, it is reporting on events. As in, "There was a fire. So and so died. Congress did not pass this bill. The President is traveling to India. Thank you, good night."

The spouters and rhetoric spewers and rabble rousers should be labeled as such.

And for the record I do not watch MSNBC. I don't need an opinion, I have one.

The saddest part of this scenario is that we should be smarter. We should be engaged in the course of the nation not the discourse of so called reporters. We should be able to distinguish what is trash talk and what is simply the truth. But no, we are engaged in the most uncivil war. We have allowed ourselves to be divided by people with agendas. Agendas by nature are one sided.

I would like a good old fashioned slice of truth. Ala mode, of course.

You're welcome,
Lillybell Blues

TEACH YOUR CHILDREN

Hi, Parents. How I envy you. Always wanted to be a mom and raise a herd of children to go forth and change the world. Since I have no children I am, of course, an expert on child rearing. I have observed my friends and family raise children. I have observed strangers with their children and so I have a few ideas. Friends who are parents, this is not about you, this is about the generations following us. We have left many bad examples.

I am stunned when I drive by a junior high or high school. What on earth are you letting your children wear? Speaking as a member of society I do not want to see your son's underwear. I am glad he isn't going commando, but really, that's something that only his parents, himself and maybe his girlfriend should know. I don't care that his boxers are blue and shiny and fit like a glove, make him pull up his pants. And where are you taking your daughters to shop? Exotic Dancers R Us? Or is it the Army/Navy surplus store? The girls look like tarts or like they slept in their baggy clothes for a week.

First impressions of our children's children...spoiled, snotty, little brats. Why? They are being raised by spoiled, snotty, bigger brats. Why? We raised the "me" generation. Why? Because we began the entire "me" thing.

This is based on no study. This is my opinion so you know it's right on! Speaking as a non parent, here is how I see it. Our generation, The Peace and Love Hippies, thought that we were going to make the world a better place. How? Sex, drugs and thumbing our nose at authority. Not that authority didn't deserve some nose thumbing. Our generation, the males at least, were being sent in droves to a war that no one could fully explain and the explanations available made no sense. Hell No, We Won't Go! But go we did, at least a large portion went. Somehow soldiers and the military got blamed for stupid government and the veterans of Nam felt isolated.
Here at home some citizens protested and tried to stop the war. People protested about everything. College campuses were taken over by students, the government shot and killed people at Kent State University. Riots were relatively common in ghettos across America because people felt disenfranchised and governments cared little about their existence. When people reach the end of their rope they do drastic things. What did the government do? They investigated people, the FBI kept files on subversives, the government tapped people's phones, they executed search and seizures, much like now only on long haired hippie types, "radicals". What did we do? We protested. We marched in the streets and in Washington D.C. Well, not me personally, that was on mom's list of things that will kill you. I did participate in walk-outs in high school so girls could wear jeans. "No justice, no peace". Really it was more like, "you got a cigarette? think we have time to burn one before we have to go back in?"

When the war actually ended, when Nixon resigned, our generation thought we had the world by the tail and could change anything. We didn't. We are basically where we were in the 1970s. We don't have a cohesive nation. People are self centered and judgemental beyond belief. Me, me, me is every one's warm up. I know this because I warm up that way too. We all do. What on earth happened here?

I thought peace and love and brotherhood all went together. Now it is like peace in MY house, I love my stuff and brotherhood is such a hassle. That's us. Our children live like, gotta have it, gotta have it now, everyone has one, really don't want to work, please give me everything I ask for, don't you love me? And their children are celebrated like princesses and princes of the royal variety. I know little children who have been to Disney World every year since they were born. They don't live in Orlando, much less Florida.

Children get a car on their sixteenth birthday like it is a rule. Children get whatever they want and run the house. "Child won't eat that, so we don't have it. Child doesn't like that TV show so we don't watch it. Child doesn't want to go so we aren't going, child would be bored. Child likes _______ so child can have all child wants. Child is having 37 people over again because child is bored. Child wants to go to the coast for spring break. Child wanted the new phone so I upgraded mine and gave to child. Child wants the latest everything and we must get all for child. Child needs $700 for prom. Child wants to borrow car cause our is better. Child needs TV and computer in child's room." etc.  

My parents would have been angry for my simply asking if I could have something they didn't want me to have. I would have known to NOT ask. I would have known that if I really wanted something I better figure out a way to pay for it. AND if it was something they didn't want me to have, they would take it away.

It isn't just the selfishness, it is the attitude. And the mouth on these kids. I know parents who use the most hateful language in front of their children and allow it in return. Nigger, faggot, retard are common and usually there is a "fuck" thrown in there too. How lovely. I have the world's worst potty mouth. I sprinkle my conversations liberally with the "F" word, however, I never use insulting language. My parents would have spun my head around for either a slip of the "F" word or calling someone a faggot. I was the one who taught my mother not to say nigger, colored people or darkies. She's from Kentucky.

Now our children are having children. We look the other way while they hump like rabbits and don't seem to care if both creators of the child are ready or willing to be parents. These children are either ignored, used like dolls or raised by grandparents and then spoiled rotten. The parents still whine about what they want from their parents and, please, I have no food to feed my child. Seen my new tattoo?

I have seen children in public scream at their parent for not letting them have something. The parent simply says OK, here you go, honey, please don't be unhappy. I sat next to a family in Marble Falls one evening at a restaurant. There were four adults and twice as many children. They were on their way to Sea World in San Antonio. The alpha male started explaining to the children that Sea World would have to wait until the morning because it was getting so late. By the time they got to San Antonio, it would be near closing time. The children went berserk. NOOOOOOO. WE WANT TO GO NOW!!!! This went on during the entire meal. The large group and all the children rushed through dinner to get back on the road so they could spend an hour at Sea World.

My parents would have said, "you better straighten up or we won't go AT ALL". Not these parents. "Hurry, the little precious tykes are unhappy....that cannot happen".

Here are some ideas.

Your children are NOT in charge. Do not let them think they are.
Your children should not decide what they want to eat. They won't starve, cook what you want.
Children do not need to upgrade every time there is a chance to. This applies to all electronics.
Children should not decide what you are going to do
A day or two of boredom never killed anyone. Sometimes alone time is the most satisfying
Children don't need a car for their 16th birthday, they want one. Big difference
If your child has a bigger TV in their room than you do things are way out of balance

Practice these phrases:

Because I said so
Respect your elders
Respect your teachers
Shut your filthy mouth
He/she/they are just as important as you are
NO

You're Welcome,
Lillybell Blues.

WHAT WOULD JESUS SAY?

Those of you who know me personally know that I have a deep seated dislike for most things GOP. I didn't used to feel this way until the nation elected, in my opinion, the worst president of my lifetime, George W. Bush. Living in Texas all my life I was aware that the man couldn't get out of a box without directions, advisers and help. I survived eight years of the man's misdirection of the nation. Then I found Obama and thought that he would change Washington. He hasn't. It is still just a sandbox that our "leaders" play in and we are the grains of sand lost in the game.

Logically I know that politics is an ugly, mean game. A nasty event full of lies, half truths and pure bullshit. This election is different. The GOP has God. The GOP believes in Jesus. The GOP wants us all to live under their moral leadership. I have some questions. Although Jesus doesn't talk to me, I am taking his side in this composition.

Hard for some of you to believe I know, but I did grow up in a church. A Methodist Church. The Methodists believe that God, Jesus Christ and The Holy Spirit are one. The Trinity. They also believe that during football season the sermon should over a little sooner so everyone gets home in time for kick off. It's very pragmatic that way. Methodists are mostly laid back, sing pretty hymns, anthems and talk about the goodness of the faith, kind of people. The God and Jesus that I hear the GOP talk about was never mentioned in my church home.

In all fairness, I do not attend a church now and haven't since my family experienced hypocrisy of the worst kind from Christians at our church. I took it very personally and have held my beliefs and spirituality pretty much to myself unless asked or appalled. The Lord and I have not always had a good relationship. However, I refuse to sit by and let people high jack God for political gain. The Jesus I read and learned about would be in Washington having a hissy fit. He would be on the campaign trail having a "WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?" rally.

Here is how I see it.

Mortals are running around taking about God calling them to lead the nation. To teach God and intelligent design in school. They want to make the nation more Christian. They are blaming disasters on gay people. Really? The thing that makes my head spin is people buy that. People, good Christian people want others to starve and die because they don't have the correct papers, citizenship or insurance. Good Christian people want gays to change so they are not an abomination before God. Really? People want to shove Jesus down your throat, His way or the highway, Really?  That is not the, "Jesus Loves Me This I Know", Jesus. This Jesus and this God are some sort of marketing tool. I don't think God likes that very much. But, hey, what do I know?

I know that Jesus wasn't picky about who he healed or saved or forgave. I know that Jesus preached love and equality. I know that Jesus fed the multitudes, not just the rich and powerful. I know that Jesus threw the money changers out of the Temple. I know that Jesus defied his government and his Faith. Jesus was a Jew, not a Christian. Jesus upset the leaders and the elders and the hierarchy of the Temple. Jesus was a rabble rouser. Jesus died for His faith and teachings.

So, let's imagine what Jesus would say if he were in a Tea Party or GOP debate. I don't think He would appreciate the booing of the gay soldier. I think Jesus might have called a few hecklers out on that one. Judge not being one of his favorite sayings. And leaving people to die because they don't have insurance. First, of course, the concept of insurance might have to be explained to the Entity who laid hands on lepers to heal them. For free. I think Jesus would say, "you are not caring for My children because they don't have a card?" I see thunder and lightning right about now.

Building a HUGE fence to keep out the "unwanted". I think Jesus would take the lead on this discussion. "Excuse me? Is there a problem with My children south of the United States of, what again? America?"  "Are you suggesting that a family seeking freedom and a better life for their children are of no VALUE?"  I kinda of see Jesus getting a little upset by now. I can imagine he might smite a few folks here and there.

Educating the children of undocumented workers. I think Jesus might raise his hand and simply say, "I didn't mean make the little children suffer. I was telling the adults to get out of the way so I could teach the children. Hello? have you people read nothing of what has been written about the plight of mankind? Suffer the little children to come before me meant simply, 'bring them here', mercy".

Taxes. I picture Jesus rolling his eyes. A lot. I imagine that Jesus would get kind of bored and explain that taxes need to be FAIR. That if one must have money, render unto _____ what is _____'s. Then he would take the IRS and smite the entire bunch. Jesus wasn't a big fan of money or taxes or cheaters. He was a very spiritual man concerned about the soul, not the pocket book.

Gays, abortion, crime, hate, racism, sexism, fear mongering and those nebulous subjects I think Jesus would say. "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you". He would probably have to explain this statement to the audience, considering they celebrate dying and boo gay soldiers and executing people by lethal injection. "Vengeance is MINE", The Lord would say. "Judge not lest ye be judged". "Thou shalt not take the name of the Lord in vain, damn it".

This is where He would explain that using His name to tell people how to think and to oppress people is wrong. I think the arena or venue at this point might shake a little just for effect. Jesus would weep. Jesus would sit in wonder at how his teachings of loving your fellow man, honoring your God and caring for mankind had wrought this.

I think Jesus would conclude by saying. "The government is supposed to help the citizens, not oppress, not destroy, not ruin. Your purpose on this earth is to leave something good. The government's job is to give a place to do that. This society is teetering, please love one another before you destroy what was given to you by The Divine."

This time Jesus wouldn't even say, "Father, forgive them. They do know not what they do".

Yes, they do. Stop spreading hate. Stop spreading fear. Start talking MANKIND not one man. No one who walks this earth is perfect nor flawless nor without sin.

Stop casting stones.
Lillybell Blues

TRIPPIN'....my vacation in Colodrado

Thank you Colorado for being breath taking. Thank for having a million different vistas. Thank you for inspiring the song, "America The Beautiful". Thank you for clean air and blue skies. I have never seen you more beautifully dressed than in your fall foliage. It was actual shock and awe, in a good way. Around every bend was a brighter yellow, an unexpected red, a clear stream, nature in all Her glory. Colorado is what we should all see every single day. God's work is so evident in the mountains. Of course it is there in the plains as well. I think maybe He just got tired. I feel renewed and full of spirit. I also made some observations along the way.

PEOPLE ARE STRANGE. Indeed. It was my experience that in person, face to face, people were lovely and friendly or schizophrenic. In their cars and on the phone, they were rude, and mean. Just sayin'.


AMERICA IS IN DEEP TROUBLE. Worse than I thought. The poverty is some areas reminded me of  back roads Kentucky, circa 1950.

THE STATE OF NEW MEXICO HAS NO IDEA HOW TO DO ROAD CONSTRUCTION. Really. Not my first experience with "detours" in New Mexico.

THE WORLD IS LOSING IT'S COLLECTIVE MIND. So many corroborating stories here.

Let me start with:

PEOPLE ARE STRANGE. This includes me. I hate every cell phone on earth but mine and I hate my own from time to time. People talk on their phones anytime, anywhere for any reason. Remember when you couldn't do that? Remember when you had to FIND a phone to talk to anyone? It was frustrating, rarely, but so much more peaceful. You cannot take a peaceful walk through anywhere without someone on their phone talking about.....nothing. People saying FUCK really loud. OK, that was me, but still, I was cursing at my phone. Ringing, chiming, OR not working when I wanted it to, signal, no signal. Grrrrr. We were a much less aggressive society prior to all this connectivity.

Barreling through Amarillo a little blond was so concerned about her texting that driving became a non issue to her. Oops, wrong lane, oops, slowing down, oops going real fast now, oops, cannot find the : and the ) to make a smiling face....HEY BLONDIE, DRIVE or get out off the way.

RV drivers are the most clueless, selfish people on the road. They are driving a house, pulling a car and sometimes a trailer full of ATVs or dirt bikes or the rest of the children. How nice for you that you are seeing the mountains at 2 miles per hour and stopping before every curve.....that's every few feet. The rest of us are tired of riding our brakes. MOVE OVER anytime you have the chance and let us car and SUV people get in front of you. I saw beauty to the right of me, beauty to the left of me and PACE ARROW in my face for miles and miles.

Not that I am selfish, OK, yes, I am. When it comes to the rare vacation I get to take I want the view, not the window of an RV and the exhaust. The professional truck drivers were very polite, moved over and gave the lookie loos a chance to do just that. Thank you transportation industry.

In person, especially if you are spending money, people are friendly and want to know where you are from, how your trip is so far, welcome to our little town. When you don't want to drop a thousand dollars on a lovely piece of art, jewelry, clothing, or trinket they act you have little taste or class. A dude tried very hard to sell me a knee length sheepskin coat. It was beautiful, soft leather, fleece lined and hotter than hell. "I live in Texas", I explained as he offered to get me a different size and ship it, no sales tax. "Thank you, but I couldn't wear this in Texas, I need to be this warm like a need another chin".  I believed he actually harrumphed at me.

AMERICA IS IN DEEP TROUBLE. I knew that the economy was bad but I really had no idea until I saw poverty like I don't remember since being a child. The trip to Kentucky in my childhood was full of tiny, dying towns. West Texas and eastern New Mexico are dying. There are boarded up businesses everywhere. They are also Wal-Marts and Family Dollar stores every few towns that are packed. The Liquor Business along with Tattooing and XXX rated everything seem to be thriving. I saw cars duct taped and bungee corded together following million dollar RVs. I saw some dilapidated homes FULL of people with cars in the driveway with Bush/Cheney bumper stickers. Wonder how they feel now? I saw more homeless people hitch hiking since the 1970s when it was hip to hitch across America. These people didn't look hip. They looked sick and dying.

The drought is unbelievable. I know earth gets dry and cracked but I certainly know now why my pool looks like a sand pit some days. Nothing to hold the earth. No deeply rooted plants. Hello, dust bowl. I saw farmers plowing red dry dust. I saw trailers full of skinny cows being taken somewhere. Either to market or to another spot to graze.

I overhead a conversation between a girl, around 9 or 10, and her daddy at a diner. Small town, everybody knew everybody kind of place. I could see the dad from where I sat and the girls face in a mirror. They talked to the waitress. All smiles and cheerful. They made careful selections from the menu. The waitress brought their lunch and asked the dad if he's had any luck. "No", he replied. "Daddy's home everyday", said the little girl like she was thrilled. The dad looked like he might cry. It broke my heart. He spent lunch telling his little girl to say, "please and thank you to the waitress".  He asked her about school. They talked about mommy working.  He asked her to brush her hair out of her face and take her elbows off the table while they ate. The little girl wanted ice cream and then go get a lollipop at the store next door. "No, honey, one or the other". "Ice cream", she wisely decided. Such a good dad unable to support his child financially. I could see in his face how much he wanted to support his child, unlike so many who do not care, and was unable to find work. Welcome to the New America.

THE STATE OF NEW MEXICO CANNOT BUILD HIGHWAYS. I have learned this lesson before. A long time a go I was riding through New Mexico on a state highway when we saw the "DETOUR" sign. No biggie. We followed the 4,000 signs through the detour, gravel roads, dirt roads, empty farm fields for what seemed like an hour and finally got back to the state highway. We were approximately 2 miles from where we started the detour.

Heading to Chama from Aztec, Current and I were on a state highway. Suddenly there were signs, "One Lane Road Ahead". Uh oh, I had a flashback of the never ending detour. We were stopped by a highway worker. The line of cars grew like a snake behind us. We waited forever. People got out of their cars, strolled up and down the shoulder, walked their dogs, talked to the person holding the "STOP" sign. No traffic moving either direction. This is NUTS! was all I could think. If there is one lane why isn't the traffic moving in the opposite direction? Finally after 30 minutes or so the traffic started passing, very slowly. Sixty cars maybe. The people looked livid and relieved alternately. The traffic stopped passing and everyone climbed back in their cars and started their engines. Nothing. No movement. Sitting. Finally a white pick up comes to the front of the line of cars to lead us through the construction. At twenty miles an hour. One lane. That was the good part. I see the sign, "Pavement Ends". Say what? The last 1,000 feet of the construction was on chewed up asphalt. Both sides of the road. NO LANES.  Great planning. We finally got through the mess and got to the T in the road, Chama, right. Pagosa Springs, left. "Colorado", I said,  "I won't survive another New Mexico construction project". We made a left into a small town. There was one of those yellow diamond signs that have deer, elk, bear, horseback riders, etc., on them to alert you as to what might appear in your path. This sign was a person walking with "SLOW" written under the figure. "No shit", bye bye New Mexico.

THE WORLD IS LOSING IT'S COLLECTIVE MIND. I am not sure where to begin here. Guess I will hop across the pond to Jolly Ole England. Saw a news story about a cage fighting club somewhere in England. Very popular place, sold out at $40.00 a person. Tarty, half dressed ring girls. Drooling, drinking crowd. The competitors? Eight year old boys. Eight. Cage fighting. It's legal. Yay! The reporter interviewed one of the boy's mother. "Oh, 'e likes it. 'e's good at it so I don't really mind". The child is eight years old! He would like to drive a fire truck too, or fly a plane, or kill puppies. Good grief.

The news out of Albuquerque was all about ATM robberies. A young man had a gun held to his head for $60.00. Two women attacked an 80 year old lady at a walk up ATM with a knife. They threatened to, "ruin your face, lady" if she didn't hand over her money, purse, and ATM card. The police spokesperson advice to the public:  do not go to an ATM alone, do not go to a walk up ATM, do not go to an ATM at night, if your only option is a walk up ATM, leave your purse and valuables in the car. How about if we make it harder for the criminals and take the onus off the victims for a while?

The common thread? Hoodies, sunglasses and hats pulled down low. How about we make those illegal in public? Show your face, smile at all the cameras and make crime harder to commit. That would infringe on people's rights. NO, that would infringe on criminal's rights. The public pays the price for everything. Let's start making the criminals sweat. Guns are out of control BUT we can control other things. I can't smoke in public, you can't hide your face. Welcome to the New America.

I also learned that America will be giving used Humvees and other all terrain vehicles to the states to patrol the border. The southern states of course. We don't fear Canada. Also, a federally mandated, unfunded requirement of the states is; common street signs, all caps, all the same color. New Mexico cannot afford this. What is their state house doing? Redistricting, of course. Citizens and their needs don't matter, silly federal mandates, not important. Getting re-elected and having control is all that matters.

In every small town I stopped in I saw notices posted for benefits. Benefits for sick people, homeless families, people who lost everything in a fire, or lost homes due to default on loans. Small town people helping their neighbors. That gave me hope. That's America.

There is nothing like getting out of your environment to open your mind. Look around and see how fortunate some people are and how sad and heartbreaking others appear. Take in an entire new horizon. Love every minute of what you see. Marvel at the beauty of nature and, of course, how nice some hotels are. The strange thing that always happens, no matter where you go, no matter what you see and experience, there IS no place like home. Home, where you are comfortable all the time, where you know where everything is, where you are surrounded by your own taste and style. Your own bed. Ahhhhhh.

Yours in peace and relaxation,
LBB