The scandal at Penn State did not shock me. It made me sick and appalled me to my core but it did not shock me. How sad is that? I have become so jaded by society as we know it that no level of depravity makes me go, "OH MY GOD", anymore. I just become more disgusted that we live in this world.
The culture of football is all about, "Coach". Coach is God. Coach is more important and pulls more weight that any other human in a players life. They start 'em out young to revere Coach. That is a lot of power over young men and young boys. Much like in the Catholic Church. "Father" is the man in the perish. Father is the representation of God on earth. You do what Father says.
The Boy Scouts of America have had similar issues but not to the degree as the Penn State and Catholic Church scandals because scout leaders aren't presented as some sort of God. They are usually men or women with their own children involved in scouting. This arrangement seems to be healthier than an all men, the leader is God kind of scenario. I would imagine that some where in scouting there is information about being abused and how to get help and now to help someone else.
My fury about Penn State is that someone witnessed an act of forced sodomy. They told the Coach. That kind of thinking is so skewed. First you help the victim, then you hold the son of a bitch perp until the police arrest him. Period. TELL COACH? Why? It shouldn't even be an option.
In the Catholic Church their mission was to cover up the fact that with a certain degree of frequency Priests liked fucking little boys and/or girls. What to do? Call the Monsignor, the Bishop, a Cardinal, the Pope? Cure the Priest at a retreat for Priests who have gone astray and move him around so he can ruin more lives? NO, call the police. They are criminals. God can't fix that.
When I was a young teenager one of my best friends was a great diver. He took lessons in Arlington at the college there. His younger brother, a swimmer, had lessons at the same pool. Their sister and I would go to their practice, she to drive and me to hang out. Their dad always warned us about one of the coaches. "He's a perv. He likes little kids...stay away from him". We did. Several years ago the coach we were warned about was arrested. That gave him decades to abuse kids. Why didn't someone call the police on this person? It was obviously well known they guy was a creep and yet no one considered his future victims.
There seemed to be a culture of, "don't tell, it will ruin the abusers life". This seemed especially true if the pedophile liked boys. Boys don't cry. Boys take it like a man. Boys get over it.
No, they don't. No one gets over being abused. Male, female, young or old. Abuse at the hands of a stranger or some one you trust is damaging in ways that go way beyond the physical pain. The emotional scars rarely heal.
When pedophiles end up in prison rumor has it that they are the target of many rapes. This reality is fodder for comedians. Prison rape isn't funny. Rape isn't funny. Rape isn't sexy. Rape is not about sex. Rape is about power and control. Never is it funny. Much like, "she stabbed him in the eyes 500 times and sliced his penis into 4 equal sections after he raped her", isn't funny.
So, here are a few rules. No human should ever be so revered for anything that their actions are covered up to protect their abuse. Abuse of children should be so vilified that every human would stop some one in the act. If a coach, priest, minister, teacher, any human with power in your child's life wants to spend the night with them the answer is NO. HELL NO. Be a volunteer in your children's activities and get to know and observe the people in their lives.
I recently saw Darrell Hammond of SNL fame in an interview. He was horribly abused by his mother as a child. He has been tormented by demons since his abuse. They removed him from the offices of SNL in a straight jacket. He stopped me with one sentence, "monsters don't have witnesses". These people are clever and so dangerous you have to look for them. They will not often reveal themselves.
We all have to be advocates for the innocent. I am not saying there should be a witch hunt but I am saying don't be fooled. Monsters are so smooth on the outside. They hide their evil so well or are devious enough to surround themselves with people who turn a blind eye. That multiplies the horror of the victims. That is being victimized twice. Can you imagine how trapped you would feel? How worthless you would feel to be abused and ignored?
Children should know the kindness of strangers - not the indifference.
Please don't look the other way,
Lillybell Blues
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