Seems that I hear it from everyone when they are heartbroken. "That's it, I'm done. No more. Never letting anyone get close". Yeah, not gonna happen. Not really. You will find yourself looking for someone sooner or later or you will feel that spark. That chemical reaction that makes you go, "yum....damn it".
Pay attention to the, "damn it", part for quite a while. You are vulnerable and, as mentioned in a previous lecture, lust is a good imitation. It's an OK substitute but it fades like cheap perfume. Then you can be stuck with someone that makes you want to peel your skin off. You will wish to heaven that instead of saying, "I love you, you could say, "uoy evol I". Take a mulligan, wipe the slate or shower a lot.
Here are some tips. Do Not gravitate to "the one" at the party, the bar, the hang out, the whatever. The person whose name gets squealed by members of the opposite sex. Avoid these people. They have charm. Lots of charm, for everyone. It's a practiced art. They make you feel special and sparkley, then they make the next person feel special and sparkley. Otherwise, only one or two members of the opposite sex would squeal. It's hard to compete with...."yay, look who is here! Give me a big hug! We thought you would never get here and look, you brought _____ with you....bummer".
Do Not gravitate to the one who obviously worked very hard to look, "just so". You will find yourself in the shallow end.
Look for someone who has confidence but not conceit. Look for someone whose personality makes them beautiful or handsome. Ever have that experience when you don't even notice some one's looks and then suddenly you feel chemistry? Ever respected someone before the lust? That is a great start.
Do Not excuse behavior. Don't tell yourself, "it" was just that one time. NO, "it" was the beginning of things you won't like. You will not be changing this person. People do not change their basic characteristics. They may change habits IF they want to. NOT if you want them to.
Tit for tat is not a good thing. "You did that so I did this". "I did this so I expect you to do that". "You had the most Oreos so I ate the last M&M". I have seen people argue over toast, (love you guys, really I do). It's hot bread with butter. They have more in the kitchen. Just share. IF you expect something, ask for it. No one is a mind reader. Don't give and give thinking eventually that it will rub off. It won't. If you are doing all the giving now, you will be doing all the giving forever.
When you find this new love, test it. Travel together. Talk about money. Talk about children if you are at that stage of life. Talk about existing children and what role you will have in the child's life. Meet the ex. Love em or hate em, meet them. You might find you are eerily like that person. Creepy.
Never take love for granted. Even if you do not return the love being given, appreciate what it is and how it feels to be hurt.
Don't promise more than you can give.
Don't fool yourself. Know yourself and what you will and will not live with.
Love yourself. If you don't love yourself, why would anyone else?
Be humble, (I hear you giggling), and do not let pride trip you.
K. That's it for now. Waiting for my next stroke of genius...I mean idea. Humble.
Lillybell Blues
No comments:
Post a Comment