WHO MADE ME GODDESS?

I believe it was me who appointed myself Goddess of all things wise. I might have been born this way but I blame my dad. He knows everything and is rarely wrong, well, once upon a time. I think his family all has this "roll your eyes and tell them what what" gene.

I remember the first time I met my dad's family. I was maybe 8 years old. I had been to Utah for a family gathering as a baby but I didn't remember them and I am not sure they remembered me. I was stunned to learn how big my dad's family was. I knew he had 3 sisters and 2 brothers but I didn't understand the offspring situation.

We had a family reunion and needed name tags. We didn't have them but we needed them. My dad's nick name is Murph, so are his brother's. Three Murphs, one family. I wasn't sure what first cousins were but I had maybe 20 or so from grown ups to toddlers. My grandmother and her oldest daughter had children the same year.  Ew. It was amazing to me. So much family so much talking.

This is when I learned that everyone in my family is correct about everything all the time. You don't agree, you are stubborn. You agree, you are smart. I was stubborn. My aunts and uncles went to town on everything. They were the first people I heard cuss. Helldamn, one word.

Fascinating to me at the time. Grating after 18 years of arguing over everything with dad and brother. At dinner. I love PSAs where they talk about how important it is to eat with your family. Only if you can't eat from the yelling and it keeps you very thin. We didn't have dinner so much as battle at my house.

Anyway I also discovered that my entire family is full of show offs. I thought we might be Osmonds for a minute or two. Opinionated people who crave attention. Yay, every one's favorite.

I have stuck my nose in other people's business too many times. I have told them who to marry and who not to date. I have told them how to handle their money. I have told them better ways to do many tasks. I am my dad. Not sure how that happened. I used to be my mom, really not a better fate just the one I expected.

So here is my blanket apology. Sorry I told you not to marry her. That was rude. Sorry I told you to stop dating him cause he's a boob. That was rude. Sorry I told you that you can't spend more than you make and survive. That was true but rude. Sorry I said that thing when your dad died. It was funny though. I thought you needed a laugh. Sorry I think your politics are the territory of stupid people, this is America and you are entitled to be wrong, (that's a joke). Basically I am sorry for all the unsolicited advice and the crappy advice that was solicited. Sorry I hardly knew you when I started telling you how to live and behave. That was really not my business. But you must admit, it gave you pause. Perhaps just long enough to roll your eyes, but pause none the less.

This will happen again. Old dog, new tricks...yeah, I am pretty much the mouthy one. It is my cross to bear. Think I have a splinter.

You're Welcome,
Lillybell Blues.