Third day on the heating pad she lost her mind. It was sad and we will miss her. Her last thoughts were of pants and hats.
What is up and down with pants? And underwear? SO CONFUSED. I have seen men with their pants so low that their entire ass is showing in fancy shiny underwear. How can that be comfortable and what does it say? They fashion is a statement. Does this say, "I am an ass?"
Then there are the men who wear pants and shorts so big they look like they are shrinking or have the shortest calves on earth. It is impossible to wear these pants without constantly pulling them up. Buy some that fit? That can't be fun, constantly pulling up your pants. AND, what is with checking to see if your penis is still there? Is there something we women don't know? Do they take a vacation...well, I know for a fact they do, but they usually stay attached to the owner. I see men, no not a crotch watcher, who apparently are stricken with fear from time to time that something has happened to their penis in their ginormous pants. If you wore pants that fit, Mr. Penis might stay put? I don't know I can't answer for this gender.
Can't speak for women either. All I can say is who in the hell thought it was a good plan to wear underwear designed to be in the crack of your ass? Do you not know that generations of women longed for underwear that didn't end up there? If you don't want, heaven forbid, panty lines. DON'T WEAR THEM. Go commando. Seriously.....it is so much better than having something up your butt all day. GIRLS, get a grip and not on that thing in your ass.
HATS: How long is this going to go on? Backwards hats? OK, let's imagine the history of hats. People out tending the fields figured out something on your head with a wide brim would shade you a bit. BRILLIANT. Hats, everyone had them. Kept the sun out of your eyes and from roasting you like a pig on a spit. Go in the house, take off the hat. People could see your face and eyes....it was polite.
Then they really became a fashion statement. It was formal to wear a hat. Women wore stupid things on their heads throughout history. Men wore those cool fedoras when I was a kid. Womens hats were fashion optional by the time I grew up. Thank goodness. I hate being uncomfortable. Hats must have been a pain. I never wear anything tucked in. Why? it is coming out as soon as I move my arms. Wasted effort. I can see me trying to keep a hat pinned on my head. No, it would come off first, then heels.
Somewhere along this time line baseball players learned they needed their eyes shaded but their peripheral vision clear. We got baseball caps. Then I don't know what happened. One day they were everywhere. People gave them away with logos and sayings and company names on them. First they were sneered at, "gimme caps".
One day every man wore one backwards and that was it. Done. Backwards hat phenomenon. Now we have the backwards hat, the sideways hat, the front hat with the bill pulled so low you look like a thief. I'm sorry....what? I love the backwards hat with the sprigs of hair popping out the front. It looks like birds nest material I used to buy for finches. I like the sideways hat because I enjoy a giggle.
Inside, take off your hat. I don't know why, because I said so. I ALWAYS WANTED TO SAY THAT.
UP NEXT: Hoodies and backwards sunglasses. Cars with wheels more valuable than the car itself. What up with that?
Yo,
LillytothebelltotheBluesfashizzle
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