I know. I'm a whiner. I am a grand champion award winning whiner. Things irritate me when they insult my intelligence so of course I am talking about Hollywood.
My biggest whine about Hollywood, meaning movie makers, used to be the gratuitous violence. The gory up close spurting blood and body parts spraying the scene for "entertainment". OK, got it. Violence is violent. Thank you for all the hackings and tortures scenes and beatings and shootings and skinnings and all that beautiful repetitive goo. Aliens popping out of people and eating flesh and slimming everything. That's entertainment.
And car chases. Please, may I pay more money to see one in 3D?
Sex, must have that too. Love those women waking up with make up perfectly applied and their hair beautifully splayed on the pillow. The man gorgeous and sparkling. Umm. Who are these people supposed to represent? Of course there is always the scenario where the man is an old coot and his woman is 20 years his junior at least. Whatever. I say Helen Mirren and Zack Efron have a little on screen roll in the hay. That of course would be comedy where we are supposed to believe that every woman wants Al Pacino or Clint Eastwood. I would. For a daddy or at least an older brother. And I love when an actress plays some one's mother and in real life they are the same age more or less. You know how we broads age.
However, my latest need to hurl on Hollywood comes from it's lack of imagination. Superman, Batman, X-Men, Spiderman, The Green Hornet, The Green Lantern, Catwoman. Though not a comic book, how many King Kong movies do we need? I'm thinking one. The original. Don't see this society being fascinated by a ginormous ape. Are we all 12? Where is something original? Good drama that doesn't involve killing?
England. They seem to understand that not everyone wants to be perpetually 16. I don't need to see anything on the big screen I found to be silly after the age of eight. I especially don't need to see sequels. As an audience we all know that you can make big explosions and make cars transform into people. Those computers are amazing. Yeah, stop it.
How about old fashioned well crafted character driven movies with style and class. Think the original Thomas Crown affair. I would take the Steve McQueen version any day. The chess scene with Faye Dunaway is incredibly sensual and they don't have to screw on the stairs! Think The Great Escape. Lots of action, little gore. Great writing. Great acting. What a concept!
And don't get me started on comedy. You could make a movie consisting of nothing but people drinking, vomiting, lighting farts on fire and throw in every other body fluid and/or mammal fluid and have a billion dollar blockbuster. Watch What's Up Doc? If you don't laugh it is because you are dead.
Yes, my major problem is I am 58 years old and special effects don't make me drool. Sometimes I go see a stupid movie merely to eat the horribly fattening theater popcorn that costs 1,000 times more to purchase than make.
That part of me is still 12.
Pixar, you are exempt from this rant. :)
You're welcome,
Lillybell Blues
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