First I want to say that I am not perfect. I know that sounds odd after reading all the pages of me being awesome. I have not always been faithful and true. I've lied and cheated. That gift of bullshit is a blessing and a curse. I have made many, many mistakes. I have hurt people. I have treated people with little regard and at this stage of my life I realize just how wrong I was and just how often. If you got in my way or I covered you in venom, I am truly sorry.
I have been proven wrong many times. Did you know that the Alamo is in downtown San Antonio and NOT out in the country? I didn't. Elsie taught me that after I made us check out of our hotel on the river walk. I was convinced it was very far away. It was right around the corner.
Did you know that always having an answer is not a good plan? I learn this lesson over and over. Not everyone wants my opinion. Wow, they do not know what they are missing. Or maybe they have just had my opinion a little too often. Sorry.
To husband, Who. Sorry, I didn't know how stupid I was. I am so glad you found happiness and someone wonderful. You deserve that.
Paul, I know you and I don't tell our story the same way. I also know that I am not the only 15 year old on earth who fell too in love, too deeply, too soon. I hope we have a drink someday. I hope we both understand that no one is too blame. We were both kids. I hope you re-find your perfect her. You were right to marry her and not me. Sorry.
Oops, I thank you for making me who I am today. You made me stand up. I like it here on my feet not in the corner. I hope your life is calm and peaceful and that your talent still shines.
Elsie, I thank you because I got to do something I always wanted to do. Be your wife and a musician at the same time. I am so glad we are friends. My life would not be the same without you.
Current. You are the Prince.
Bear in mind that these stories are my recollections, not completely accurate I am sure. Some of the instances are based more on feelings than accurate memories. You read the drug chapters, right?. Some things are verbatim. Mainly the melt downs and rants. I have vivid memories of those moments.
Most of the people mentioned in this book(?) are still very important parts of my life. Cassie, Alan, Zelda, Ruby, Frankie, Golden Girl, Elise, Inga, Shaneequa and Bubba, (Bubba's wife too). They are my chosen family. I miss Jeff everyday. Even now almost thirty years later and I can hear his voice in my head. I wish we had made a record. I would love to hear him outside my head too.
Nomercy got walked out of the Center one day years after I was gone. WMB. Without My Business?
Brother and I have actual conversations now. He is quite funny and still talented and smart. His wife is his equal. His children I would steal if we were not related.
You know those kids that you just know will be perfect? The ones voted most likely to be everything? Then they end up in the gutter? Didn't happen with Bridget. Last I heard she was a very successful attorney in the northeast, married once with several beautiful children. She was the Angel Fish. I was the Flounder.
I managed.
Mom and dad are both sick now. They have dementia. Mom is almost gone, dad is fading. It kills me every day. And yes, dad was almost always correct. Not always right but correct.
Don't miss the Appendix: Lillybell advice: For Heavens Sake SOMEONE Learn From My Mistakes and The Best Lessons I Ever Learned.
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