I wish I could gather all you women/girls at my feet and tell you all about the trials and tribulations you will or have faced and what you can or what you should have done. As you can see I learn by repeating the same mistakes, that is not good. So here are just a few general pointers.
Men/boys, I have some advice for you as well. Stop laughing.
Ladies: There is nothing special about sleeping with someone. It proves nothing except that you are easy. Mom always said, "if you give away the milk for free they don't buy the cow". NO. They buy the cow but they keep going back to the store for a carton with a different expiration date. Respect your vagina. My generation made the mistake of sleeping with every man who wanted us. MEN WANT ANYONE WITH A VAGINA. Those are the facts, Ma'am. Take a look around you. Look for a woman that makes you go "ew", and see if she has children. If so, someone slept with her. It's not a special talent, it isn't unique to you. You are not better at anything than anyone else. If women everywhere were less willing, men would respect us more not less. Old fashioned? Yes and no. Yes, it seems archaic. No, it is smart for you. When was the last time some man hurt you because he didn't even call?
Friends with benefits: NO SUCH THING. Do not fall for this. Friends with benefits merely means the man has to do nothing but use his penis. "Not me", some of you are thinking. "just sex is fine". No. Go to your "friends" wedding. See if you don't ask yourself, "what makes her benefits better?".
Sex with another woman because he wants you to. STOP THIS NOW! If your man wants to involve someone else in your relationship ask him to fellate your best man friend. Men would ask you to screw a monkey if it was hot in movies, music videos and porn. Women having sex with women for real and not in some fantasy makes you boneheads. Me personally, never met a woman I just had to kiss or lick. IF you are indeed bi-sexual, go for it. If you are not, tell your mate, Uh....no. Respect your friend's vagina too.
DO NOT DANCE TITTY TO TITTY WITH YOUR FRIENDS IN A BAR. If you cannot catch some man's attention all by yourself, he isn't worth it. Famous women: STOP LOOKING LIKE WHORES. This just says, "all we got is sex". We all know that you are pretty and have a nice body. When you show it off, think class not ass. Talent says it all. Being naked to "express yourself" equates to, "gonna be a has been soon".
Lust is NOT love. It is a damn good imitation. It is satisfactory for a while and then it sucks. Being sexy does not make a man smart. Look beyond the twinkle in his eye and his smile that says, "yum". See if he has character. Looks fade. Sometimes quickly, both his and yours. You have to be with this man when he is vomiting, farting, burping, chewing his nails, repeating himself, whatever...you better really like him not just want him before you commit your time, money, effort and life.
Start off being you. Do not feign interest or pretend you are something you are not. Start with your worst qualities. If a man loves you after that it is pretty much a smooth ride.
Women/girls - stop being envious and petty. Someone will always be prettier than you, thinner than you, have bigger boobs than you, be a better whatever than you. Embrace each other and stop being competitive. Women hating women for such silly things makes us airheads. Be your best you. That's what you have. Celebrate it. Celebrate what your friends have.
MEN/boys
GROW UP. That is the best advice I can give you. Stop using women as sperm depositories. That makes babies. You have a tendency to walk away from those babies. STOP IT. Babies become people who need daddies. If you are not ready or willing to be a father take the responsibility. Women are not responsible for birth control, you are equally responsible. LEARN THIS.
Sleeping with every woman you can is not that attractive. Try a little respect for yourself. AND shut up about the women you do sleep with. We do not want to hear the sordid details. If you simply cannot keep your mouth shut about your abilities to attract women and who did what to who, you need your lips sewn together for a bit as a reminder to show a little respect.
Proving how much you can drink loses it's appeal after the age of 16. Burping is NOT impressive. Farting really should be private. Bathroom humor should lose it's appeal at the time of puberty.
You are not the only man with a penis. Every man has one unless they have faced a tragic accident or birth defect. You cannot do anything with your penis that any other man cannot do. I know, I'm sorry but it's true.
Sex is more than the act. There is a prelude. Learn this.
Every woman/girl is some one's daughter. If you have a daughter think about how you would want her treated and follow that path.
This applies to your sons too. Getting laid as soon as possible is NOT an accomplishment. Do not treat it like one.
Those women in the strip clubs DO NOT like you. They want your money. If you are between the ages of 50 and 60, or over, going into a strip club makes you pathetic, sad and a source of ridicule.
When you date someone young enough to be your daughter you both look foolish. What do you talk about? How much you and her parent's have in common? And you young girls who date these old men, remember, women their own age have rejected them for a reason. NO, I am not jealous of you girls I feel sorry for you. I know what old dudes are like. By the way, I want to be with a 30 year old almost as much as I would like a root canal. Raised enough men, thank you.
And being yourself applies to you too. Don't start off being fabulous if really it's an act you perform to impress your lady and then suddenly become thoughtless. Just start off being clueless and thoughtless. Trying in the beginning proves that you can and makes you a bigger ass when you don't.
GET A JOB.
PULL UP YOUR PANTS!!!
That's it for now. I bet I think of more later. Oh dear.
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