At work I was still the target of our Controller, Nomercy. I was editing the newsletter because of my printing background and my connection to a printing company. That meant Nomercy had to work with me. I felt I knew what people wanted to read and see in the Center newsletter. Nomercy thought it should be all about him, his Mission Statement and his slogan WMB. I believe it stood for World's Meanest Bastard.
His management style was on display during his first lecture, I mean Center wide meeting. One employee stood and asked the following question: "When we have off-site team meetings we have trouble finding people to cover our phones. Can we establish a plan for phone coverage?" "Sure", said Nomercy. "We will not have off site team meetings so phone coverage will not be necessary".
Not only did this ruin our best meetings and "team building" time it also pointed out another small problem. Our customer calls were answered by whatever administrator got the call. No 800 line, no switchboard, just whoever was around to answer the ringing phone. We were going to set the standard in our Center by creating a team of employees dedicated to answering customer calls. They wanted me to help with this endeavor. They made me the"Specialist". This is a title meaning, "figure it out and let us know what to do".
We were about to have our first off site Center Wide meeting. Nomercy wanted to kick off his reign with pomp and circumstance. The location of our building was not far from a studio. They produce Barney there. I am sure we spent tens of thousands of dollars on this meeting. The theme was "Academy Awards". Some employees were to receive tiny statues that looked like the Oscar and make little speeches about how grateful they were to be so honored. And thank all the little people and be disappointed they weren't getting recognition money because the meeting cost so much. Two Senior Staff members called and asked me for a private consultation. They were afraid the meeting was going to bomb and Nomercy would be even more reviled. They wanted me to be, you know, funny. "Write one of your songs....the employees love that. Make it light and, you know, funny". Then when you receive your Oscar be, you know, funny?"
"I think you are putting my head on, you know, the chopping block because Nomercy has, you know, no sense of humor. I need my job and I really don't need him to, you know, like me even less". These men obviously thought I was, you know, stupid. "NO", they assured me. Nomercy was on board with the employees having fun and poking a little fun at ourselves". Uh huh. "Well, OK, I will write the little song and try to be funny. If he tries to fire me, I expect one of you to insist your department needs me, you know, because I might sue you for, you know, wrongful termination". I was smiling and laughing but I wasn't kidding.
We had the meeting. Nomercy kicked it off with the acceptance of his Oscar for being Most Pompous or whatever, Then he sat on stage for the rest of the meeting while a make-up artist turned him into Frankenstein. No reason why, just because. I was next with my little vocal band. We rocked a parody of Oh Bla Di, Oh Bla Da and finished with a gig at Nomercy's slogan WMB. Frankenstein look mad. I called for locals with torches when I gave my little acceptance Oscar speech. Humor bad. Fire good.
I heard the next workday from my manager that Nomercy was not amused. I called the two senior staff members who had encouraged me to be, you know, funny and asked for a private meeting. "Don't think I will be considered for management here now that I have, you know, followed your advice. Please do not leave me hanging". "Oh, Lillybell, you are so highly thought of blah, blah, blah. Enjoy your new assignment. You will prove your worth there". Yeah, enjoy your retirement old fart, chicken shit butt heads. The employees loved me. OK not all of them. Some of them thought I was too everything. Management was definitely stepping away from the girl with the target on her back,
All but one. I had a new Senior Staff Manager. Current was going to run my department now that the region was no longer necessary. I was about to have a true champion.
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