CUSTOMER SERVICE? HOW ABOUT CUSTOMER IRRITATION...

I worked in Customer Service. I supervised 22 people on a customer service 800 line for a huge corporation. A Malcolm Baldridge Award winning corporation. For those of you who do not know or care that is an award for not being stupid. They don't state it that way, it's something about quality service but believe me it's basically the same. We had customer service reps staffed to answer calls within 20 seconds AND the person answering the phone could usually help you.

The knowledge I gained in this job makes me the worst customer on earth.

As a favor to all of you let me give you one valuable piece of information. Always call the 800 line twice. If you get the same answer, that is company policy. Exceptions and letters and headaches will follow if you want anything changed. If you get two different answers, you're safe. Refund, credit on your account, or the reason for your call should end in your favor. Speak to the supervisor and advise him/her you have spoken to "Ann" and "Bob" and received two different answers. You will have a great day. Ann and Bob will be getting a letter in their file.

Calling an 800 line and speaking to someone in a foreign country is the norm. The only way to change this as Americans and to return these jobs to America is to refuse to do business with the company. If you have no choice, sit down, write a letter or email and explain to everyone important why you will not call their 800 line, "the people are impossible to understand and they read from a script. They are not making decisions, they are reading". After corporate American is drowning in complaints, and NOT growing their business, they will have a vision: "I know, let's hire Americans to talk to Americans. It will be  revolutionary". The person with this vision will earn in the millions for his/her brilliance.

Corporations who build your call centers in America: Go to Detroit, The Mid West, anywhere other than a coast. Labor is cheaper and tax breaks are bigger. There are unlimited small cities that probably would pay for jobs. I DID NOT GO TO COLLEGE. I HAVE NO DEGREE IN BUSINESS. Unfortunately, I have common sense which makes everyone crazy.

Corporate America, here is a hint. It is not a good idea to keep a customer on hold listening to either horrible music or a litany of other products and services you would like us to pay for and still receive bad service. But the most important lesson you need to learn: Do not tell me how important my call is. If it was important, you would answer it. After 10 minutes of hearing how important my call is I can assure your service representative will be talking to a now angry customer.

It isn't just service on the phone, it's face to face service. You know those commercials for home improvement stores where the employees know everything? The employees in the big box stores around me know one word, "Uh...". I bought my husband a new grill and had to show Mr. Handy Man where the boxed ones were located in the store. Helpful? Yes! For him.

I was in a major department store after the holidays when the store was having a "HUGE up to 70% OFF Sale". I won't name names but it rhymes with "Racey's".  There  must have been 6 check out stands in the department and NOT ONE was staffed. I heard a man from across the aisle yell, "will someone please take my money?".  I applauded him from my position.

I had an AC unit go out this summer. I had a unit go out last summer. Five year old units with warranties and maintenance contracts that I pay $300.00 a year for. Apparently when they manufacture these VERY EXPENSIVE units whose name rhymes with "Bane", they use the lowest bidders capacitors that are not built to withstand heat. WHAT?  I called to express my displeasure and was hung up on by customer relations, lied to about who is in charge and was told they don't have email, They are getting a letter. Hand written and very professional, with a copy to the BBB and any and all organizations I can find dealing with the HVAC industry and for good measure the State Attorney General. Could be me, but pretty sure air conditioning should work in the heat. Air conditioning that works in the cold is redundant.

I assume this blog will become a series as rancid customer service is everywhere and never fails to get my attention.

You're Welcome.