I have to introduce you to the people who made my days worthwhile at work. Zelda was there of course and that was natural. We'd been "together" since ninth grade.
I met Bubba first or at least I knew who he was first. He was a first line manager and a few years older than I am. I only say that to irritate him. I met Bubba from his many wanderings around the floor to visit people. He is one of those people that should have the theme from Saturday Night Fever playing in the background when he walks the halls. He had that CPR bounce. He oozed that air of trying to hit on all the hot, young women. He was single. He was entitled. He was NOT 24 which was the age of the women that he befriended. He had that middle aged crazy, bought a car I can't afford, hope it scores me some young chicks before it is repossessed, problem. I had that, think that is very amusing and will rag you about it constantly, problem. He is still among my best friends and now I count the woman who settled him down among by best friends too. Really, he should hate me, you will understand why later.
Shaneequa I met when she was a new hire. She had not transferred in from a branch. She had taken one of the jobs vacated by someone who did not make the move. Shaneequa had the blondest hair and bluest eyes. She was very smart and very quick. Her humor was so fast it made mine seem like it moved in slow motion. We bonded in a meeting one day when after she composed a beautiful, professional, clear, concise letter she had written on a very complex issue to someone in headquarters explaining why expecting us to pay for up-to-date procedures to run their business was not only counterproductive it was not reasonable to expect our budget center to pay for something headquarters could not figure out how to distribute. It was a great letter. And then at the bottom she added, "P.S. collectively we hope your butt grows together". She was my friend from that day forward.
I had other great friends at work, Inga, an administrative aide to a big wig. She was the most sought after admin aide as she could do type a memo, plan a meeting and book travel for 47 people at the same time. She was sweet and innocent and soooo professional it was amusing. She was also one of the people who knew all the secrets about all the big wigs. She would never lose her job. Coincidentally, her mom passed away just weeks after she got engaged. I helped her plan her wedding. She had my wedding much like I had my mother's wedding. Her wedding was beautiful if I do say so myself.
Then there was Johnny. My wild and crazy friend who made me laugh way too hard at inappropriate moments. We got each other in trouble for having too much fun at work. Oops. That's correct, they call it work, not fun. I met him the day he moved in. He had the same name as my fifth grade math teacher. The name made me sweat. I went to his desk just to make sure math man wasn't a new guy from a branch. No. Tall, young and NOT straight outta Oklahoma. I introduced myself and told him I was glad he wasn't math man, the most evil man on earth. Then it occurred to me that Johnny could be a Junior. "Your dad doesn't teach math does he?" I asked. "My dad couldn't spell math. He was too busy being a liar, a drunk and a whore monger". I liked him.
In any combination of these people I had some of the best lunches I have ever had in my life. The laughter would get so uproarious we often couldn't eat. We were amusing to us and that's all that mattered.
Shaneequa lived in Fort Worth too so we started carpooling which cut our driving in half and our laughter doubled. We wrote little ditties as I like to call them. One about the ducks that populated the area around our building. We noticed a little mallard with one leg. He wandered in a circle for several days and then he and the other ducks disappeared. He became the star of one of our songs: to the tune of Joy To The World.
Bring back the ducks
we want them back
we love to hear them quack
the one with one leg
the rest with two
we seek the limping duck
we seek the limping duck
we seek, we seek the limping dunk
Don't eat the ducks
they are so feathery
and can withstand the weathery
And don't say roast
And don't say smoked
And please don't say Peking
And please don't say Peking
And please oh please don't say Peking
FUNNY! We could sing it every day and laugh until we cried.
Shaneequa and I also complained to each other about husbands, parents, managers, Xerox, childhood, siblings and every other subject known to man. We knew way too much about each other to ever risk an argument. It is nice to love someone who knows your worst secrets. Can't let that go, people write books!
Thank the universe for friends, without these people I would have been on the news as the employee who executed a perfect swan dive from the twenty-second floor.
Soon I needed all these people. I had a drinking problem.
No comments:
Post a Comment