My parents tiptoed around me for a few days. I was physically and emotionally exhausted. For three or four day I only slept and ate. Then came the knock on the bedroom door that I knew was coming.
"Hi, Dad, I know you have lots of questions, so go ahead". "Look", he said, "I have no idea what you have been through and honestly I do not want to know. But, I do know that you put yourself there. Your mother and I are not exactly happy to have you back home. I think 6 weeks should be enough time for you to find some place to live". "GET THAT CAR BACK". Now my dad is not a ranter or a screamer. He is very calm and logical as he explains to you how very, very much you have screwed up. "You know, Lillybell, now you are like a used car with two different owners. No one wants a car like that. Most of them end up in the junk yard". "I am not getting sold for parts, am I?" I just couldn't resist. "Don't be a smart alec". This is when I discovered that I was a bitch. I had spent years arguing with my dad about everything. We argued politics, the war in Viet Nam, Watergate, money, civil rights or whatever I could find the opposite stance to argue about. I see now that I was trying to show my dad that I could think. I didn't just spout platitudes, I had supporting facts, I was aware of what was going on and he didn't understand. Of course the fact that his 100 pound bra less daughter was railing at him about right and wrong must have be disorienting. It must be difficult to see your child looking like a stick with hair and four eyes.
OK, time to show dad just how much I had learned in the last two years.
"Dad, first of all you have the WORST analogies in the world". I sneered. "Let me tell YOU about cars. Some models are just simply classics. Sometimes it's the engine, sometimes it's the body style, sometimes it's that the car is rare but people actively seek out these models and pay big money for them no matter how many owners." "I am not you, I am not Brother. I am me and I am fine with that. Yes, I got myself in a HUGE mess AND I GOT OUT OF IT!". Pause. "You will never know the details, you would crap." I breathed for just a minute. "Look, I left my car there on purpose. To keep it safe and to keep from being identified by my car. He HAS to get to work. He needs a lot of money to pay for an attorney. He will take care of the car as long as he is impressing his girlfriend with it. If I had taken it, I assure you he would find it and destroy it with a bat. I KNOW WHAT I AM DOING!" pause "I am so sick of being daddy's little disappointment and I don't plan on worrying about it anymore. Maybe it's time you worried about it".
Dad just looked at me. I thought I saw something different in his eyes. Maybe it was the fact that I knew the word, "analogy". But I think, as Aretha would say, I saw some R E S P E C T. More like R, but still I think I made my point.
"You need to find a career." Retorted my dad. "You need a real job with real benefits. I cannot afford for you to be sick so you better pray you don't get some horrible illness or have an accident. You have got to learn to take care of yourself."
Six weeks, I wasn't staying near that long. I was leaving as soon as I had floor space anywhere. I remember thanking God for being with me and taking me through what had to be the worst thing I would ever experience. Oh, and please don't let me need insurance. I will never hear the end of it, Amen.
God has such a funny sense of humor.
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