How do you start a project this massive? One folder at a time. I found many files that had contracts, however the contracts were for a company named Halloid. I located documents filed by serial number which is a nine digit alpha numeric or just numeric plate physically located on every copier. I located documents filed by customer number, another nine digit number used to identify the owner/leaser of the equipment. I located documents filed under customer business name and occasionally I would find a file labeled "dentists". Small problem, no Xerox contracts so far. There was, however, in all these thousands of documents, personal notes, invitations to lunch, pictures from an office Christmas party, compliments on Susie's outfit and a million While You Were Out telephone messages. Xerox believed in documenting everything. CYA was the goal.
I had been working for Wonder Woman for a while and I knew that before I went to her with what I knew was a huge problem I should get some information from legal, from the building engineer and the people who had actually created and used these files. Bottom line, once all thirteen districts were in the building we could need three floors to house file rooms or reinforce the building. If you do not have a contract, you cannot legally collect an invoice without much money and time in legal wrangling. No one at Xerox had a clue how or why they filed anything.
I was also busy planning what on the earth this wedding would be like. I wanted very hippie, barefoot, silk harem pants and my original wedding dress lace to be made into a blouse. Zelda can do that, she is a sewing wizard. Guitar music, Elsie could wear jeans and if I was lucky a button down shirt and not a Tee. Wedding and reception in one place. I thought I would invite my parents.
I found the silk I wanted and the patterns. I decided Elsie and I should have one more talk before we had invitations done. We had about six weeks to our decided wedding date. He was glad I brought up the subject. "Kia thinks we should wait until you have been hired as a permanent employee and then get married".
I yelled for 24 hours straight. I don't remember what all I said except it was hateful and obviously long. This was IT. Didn't realize I had to have a dowry. Didn't realize that Kia would be running our lives. Didn't matter that my hiring was a matter of time. Elsie nor Kia had any idea how a huge corporation worked. GOOD GRIEF. DONE. FINISHED. FOREVER. THE END. How could Elsie be so foolish to let me go because of what Kia thought? How did he not see that what we had was the best he would ever have? What the hell was his problem? I was so easy to live with. Uh huh.
Back home with Zelda. Starting again. Driving back and forth everyday 100 miles or close to it. Working my butt off. Huge project and there was another issue. Jeff was getting sicker. He couldn't die. I could not lose him. He was my brother, my man buddy, my open and honest funny, singing partner. He had to get better. He had to get a kidney. Life seemed like a burden in many ways. I loved my job. I hated it being so far away. I loved Ft. Worth, didn't want to leave my home town. All my singing gigs were here when Jeff was up to it. Now Elsie was dead to me. I felt bad for me some more.
Finally, I sat down with Wonder Woman and explained the issues I feared we had with the "simple filing issues". I asked her first, "Who is Halloid?". She laughed and explained they were a company Xerox had bought in it's first years of business. "Why?", she said. "I found contracts for them in the files". "That's impossible", she said. I showed her my Halloid documents. I explained the problem with the no common filing system. The mere weight of the paper in the files being too heavy for the building as is. And I had only located a few signed Xerox contracts. "Well, where are they?", she asked. "No one seems to know, they are here somewhere you just can't put your hands on them".
This started a process that would last several years. I needed to determine the best filing system, not just for our center, for all five centers, determine what was absolutely necessary to have on file and what was waste and all in my spare time.
Suddenly everyone had an opinion, an idea, the way it had to be. I got calls from all over the country from people about how to file. HOW TO FILE? Center Controllers and Region Managers called to ask me HOW TO FILE? No wonder this company was in trouble.
One day Wonder Woman came blinking to my desk and wanted me to join her in a meeting. There were headquarters people here trying to figure out the file problems. I grabbed my files for the dog and pony show and followed her into the conference room. It looked like a Brooks Brother's ad complete with all the fancy leather portfolios and Mont Blanc pens. Pin stripes were either on sale or part of the costume. White or light blue shirts and double Windsor egos tied around their necks.
I explained our issues. My solution to the problem. They all had arguments and reasons and wanted to be right about everything. I feared I might actually witness a pissing contest. One man had a PhD. in adages. His comments consisted of, "this could be the apple that spoils the barrel", "we need to think outside the box", "we need to focus on the ball", "we are going to run this up the flag pole and see who salutes". OH BROTHER. After my spiel and answering all their questions, it was agreed that I was indeed correct. I had the best plan. All the files had to be purged of junk, no point in storing junk, (do not look in my closets), and files should be identified by the serial number of the equipment. It was the only unique number, it was what customers called about. Customer numbers could be associated with hundreds of machines. I was right. Everyone else was wrong. Customer Name was ridiculous. My way. TaDa, they all agree.
What to do now? Why more meetings of course. Many, many meetings in different locations with various levels of management and employees and lots of memos, many, many memos. OK. Would I be willing to come in from Webster to Rochester for these meetings? "Excuse me?" I said, The one question I was stumped on, what is Webster? "You're the document expert from Webster?". "No, I'm a temp admin aide". Wonder Woman got up blinking and said that she was waiting on approval for head count and determining how many people needed to staff and as soon as she had the approval from headquarters I would be in charge of this project as a full time Xerox employee.
My official hire date was three days AFTER I was supposed to marry Elsie.
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