ILYT Confessions of a Serial Marrier I Blame Walt Disney

After my very dramatic performance for the Bub's they did not come to my house anymore. Pretty sure they thought I belonged on the Group W Bench and didn't care to have the veins ripped out of their necks. I wanted to give Elsie my ultimatum but I put it off because I just couldn't take what I knew was coming.

We lived in the same house but that is about as close as we were. He all but snarled and I was as passive aggressive as I could be. Slamming things was my specialty. Doors, cabinets, drawers, whatever created that satisfactory "whack". I needed therapy but, really, who has time? Elsie and I tried marriage counseling but I didn't feel comfortable with that process. How could everyone miss how correct I was all the time? I only wanted to be the most important thing in some one's life. Me. Not others, not booze, not drugs, ME. Yes, I was all about me.

I felt certain that if Walt Disney were directing the animated feature of my life I would have come through all the darkness and scary parts and be at the happily ever after part. That just wasn't happening. I was at the, look there is still more crap part.

I hated life. I hated my job. I hated men. I needed a long vacation and someone to tell me I was fine. That it really was everyone else and not me. I needed someone to tell me I was indeed capable and smart and worth every effort on earth. Lots of men wanted to comfort me while we lay naked and I serviced them but that REALLY was not what I was looking for. Not sure why men think "penis" is the answer to everything. I really hoped there wasn't some sort of testosterone born disease that would wipe out the male species but oh well if it did.

I kept waiting for the little happy singing birds to follow me around and the animals of the forest to show me the way. I was certain that the evil witch or troll or king or princess or prince was just about to get his or hers. No. Walt Disney wasn't directing my feature film. Maybe Peckinpah or Fellini but definitely not Disney. I was ready for a new director. Maybe Franco Zeffirelli or Frank Capra.

At least things at work were on an even keel. It was still overwhelming volume wise but I was the expert in my area. That of course meant I was about to get a new assignment and new bosses.

I thought the file project required patience and fancy dancing. What I faced next made that look like a piece of cake.