I just had to watch Gumby on NBC last night. Gumby? That is what my friend Ruby named Brian Williams. "Don't you think he looks like Gumby?", she said one evening while we were watching the news. Yes, he does. Now I always think of him as Gumby. He is my news guy by the way. Cronkite, Rather, Brokaw, Gumby.
Things I would like to point out to the body who runs our lives and wants us to do with less, etc.
OK, you set an example. I have watched one Medium corporation and one HUGE corporation "cut back". There are ways to save operating costs and I think you, as an example to the nation, should cut WAY back. As a tax payer, I want to know how much it costs to keep you in a monument to accomplish very little. Umm, those works of art? Priceless. We could auction those at Sotheby's. You guys can get nice framed inspirational posters like, "WHEN THERE IS NO WIND, ROW". Have the proceeds from the priceless works of art sent to China.
OK, offices. WHAT? You have offices? With walls? And doors? And sitting areas? And Fireplaces? No, I don't think so. Cubicles. Those studies, that we probably paid for, say that an open work environment fosters good relationships. You need that. I envision cubies: democrat, republican, independent, democrat, republican, etc. Kind of like boy, girl only not. Heavy on the boy side of course.
NICE BATHROOM LADIES, about time you had one. However, when the door opened I thought for just a minute we had magically been transported to Greece. Four stalls, nice. Done. The mural thingy...is that tile? Painted? Listen, I just remodeled a bathroom, it is VERY expensive and tempting to go over the top. I did. I paid for mine. And apparently yours.
Technology. USE IT. You guys run around that building all day for "meetings". Tele/video conference since it's so big. And HAND WRITTEN, HAND CARRIED LETTERS? Hello, 21st century calling. You need skills to hold certain positions. Take a course in email, texting, using the phone, stop running all over creation.
THE MARBLE FLOORS HURT YOUR FEET. This relates to the above. Dig up the marble, sell it. Send the money to China and put in some nice bamboo. It's hard but a renewable resource. You might get a break on your taxes...that was a joke. Seriously, if you didn't run around all the time and used technology from your luxury boxes your feet wouldn't hurt.
Speaker Bane-R. I get the impression you are smoking in your office. They say it smells like cigarettes in there. SO, we are supposed to take direction from a man who can't follow the rule about not smoking in a government building? Hey, I smoke. I am right there with you. I can smoke in my house and my car. So far. I feel certain there will be monitors to make sure I am not killing anyone with my noxious air soon. Please, may I have a gun? All you want. No Smoking. Anyway, Mr. Speaker....set an example. Go outside like the rest of us on the Group W bench and smoke. X number of feet from the building. In the sun, cold, rain, snow, flood, heat. Take your gun.
DUDE WITH THE DOG. Umm, excuse me? Are you Mr. Paris Hilton? Do you tend to your dog all day yourself? Does he just poop on the priceless rugs? (sell 'em, China...you know the drill). Are the tax payers paying someone to take your dog out? Last I heard there is a "Bring Your Dog To Work Day". Do that, leave poochie at home the other days OK? FYI, in the private sector you would be in the bosses office. You would be "uncooperative" and there would be a letter in your file. Just sayin'.
Let's see. NICE FURNITURE. Everywhere. Herman Miller makes some comfortable, sensible office furniture. Look into that. Sell those leather chairs and antiques, (China, you know). An incredible amount of velvet drapes. Those are expensive to maintain. Take them down. Put them in a huge drawer and wait until you can afford to rehang them.
Minions. GOOD GRIEF. How many? Per person? I realize that some of them work for nothing, (you should all do that for a while, solidarity and all). You are all surrounded by people telling you things. Cut back. One admin aide, one yes man, one gopher. Done.
The day Gumby was there The Meat Industry was feeding Congress. The Meat Lobbyists of course set up this feast. Meat Industry you have sufficient funds to feed Congress and staffers for free? Feed the HUNGRY. Thank you. Congress, see to it that they do. Not sure but I don't think you need free food. That was a "let them eat cake" moment for me.
QUIT PRINTING THINGS. Stop it. Ridiculous. Computers, get them. Don't read the bills on the screen instead of not reading them on reams of paper.
TRAVEL. Stop it.
Office supplies. Bring anything you need other than the very basics from home. A stocked bar is not an office supply by the way.
Location, Location, Location. I am thinking that the real estate you occupy does not warrant the work you put out. Most companies will move out of the luxury offices and find something sensible and easy to maintain. I am thinking there must an industrial area around D.C. where you could find vacant space and put your cubicles there. Conference rooms eliminate the need for private seating in any office. Use them.
We don't really need that chamber where the president speaks and half of you applaud. It's really all dog and pony show. Let him/her give his state of the union from the Oval Office. Then the opposition can give their, "oh no he/she didn't" rebuttal from your conference room. Works for me.
This one is just a "DUH" as far as I am concerned. If an incumbent is reelected let's not have all the ceremonial crap. No inauguration and parades and balls. He/she IS IN office. If the law says he/she has to take the oath again, take it. Get to work. Simple and cheaper.
In conclusion, yeah right, I would like to say that I heard much discussion about PARTY and RESPECT for the other side. I heard about WINNING. I heard freshman Congresswoman Nobody say that she had come to change the tone in Washington. Lady, it isn't working. I heard nothing about the citizens. Nothing about AMERICA.
PARTY, WINNING. That's what I heard.
Is Charlie Sheen running the country?
You're Welcome
Lillybell Blues
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