A PEEK INTO THE FUTURE

This is pissed off. Please do not read unless you appreciate sarcasm wrapped in snarky, dripping with venom.

I started having an interest in politics when JFK was president. We had a defined enemy. THE COMMIE. They were everywhere and they were coming to make us be Commies too and poison our minds. OR nuke us to oblivion. This was a "simple time" in America. Except for the rampant racism, blacks being degraded and referred to as niggers. Sorry, still hate that word. Women were housewives and mommies and had no opinions. They were there to dress the set and raise the kids. Be nice, be polite, respect your man, respect your elders. Be pretty....do it now. Be smart but not too smart, you don't want to intimidate your man. Smile, you look much prettier when you smile. 

I met a man when I was an impressionable girl. He loved Bobby Kennedy. Bobby was already gone by the time I met this man. We spent hours talking about Bobby's vision. How he would have saved the country. How we, the younger generation, had to make ourselves heard. We didn't want to die in Viet Nam. We didn't want to do what the government said because they were wrong. He was the most articulate human I ever met. Mesmerizing. Left wing almost to radical.

Thirty five years later I had a conversation with him. He had worked on the Bob Dole campaign. He thought W. was brilliant, "a very smart man". Ronald Reagan was his HERO. I heard Bobby Kennedy roll in his grave. WHAT? How much Kool-Aid had this dude had? How did this happen?  FOX NEWS!

Then I realized it was happening to everyone. From Peace and Love to I HATE MEXICANS AND NIGGERS! What? What is this "new" movement? The Tea Party! No, people this is the Klan and every nasty prejudice my parent's generation ever had. It all comes from FOX NEWS. I swear they have something subliminal in their broadcasts that makes people puppets to their "fair and balanced" right wing rhetoric ala Rupert Murdock.

AMERICAN RULE UNDER THE TEA PARTY

Woman president, pretty of course, good Christian. Meaning evangelical. Against women's rights even though she is president. She wants your uterus to be just like hers.  Congress mostly GOP but a few dems to have someone to blame things on. This will be accomplished by the GOP drawing every district to resemble what we have in Texas. Every single minority in 3 districts. Close enough. President Tea will immediately insult have the world by explaining to them they need to except Jesus Christ as their saviour or they will roast for all eternity in hell. Then we will all pray.

All naked artwork in the country will be covered in some way. Either clothing painted on OR some type of drape to hid the naughty parts. All performance art will have to be approved by the Committee for Good Taste. After approval, everyone will pray.

We will have to burn some books. OK, most of them. Not the Bible. It will be the school text book. If it isn't in there, we don't need to know it. All evidence of Neanderthal and Cro-Magnon man, dinosaurs, etc. will be destroyed because that would be confusing. No questions about evolution will be answered. Everyone pray.

There will be no Hispanics. Instead of trying to figure out who is legal and who isn't all brown skinned people will be bussed to the border, the southern one. A huge fence patroled 24/7 by the military will already be in place. Citizens will all be issued weapons, just in case. Everyone rejoice!

White people will get the best jobs. We have forgotten all about Manifest Destiny. We Anglo Saxons are better than everyone. Why? Because we said so. Sorry, it was in the history books until we burned them. OH, in that Old Testament where God says the Jews are His chosen people, he meant until the birth of Jesus, so....you Hebrews might want to consider changing cause we would hate to burn your synagogues and those Torahs, but we will. Why? Because we are white people. Pure as the driven snow. Amen!

Without Hispanics here the black people can have all the jobs involving manual labor and being subservient! Whew, finally, just like pre civil war times when we white people were so happy. Gosh, I hope they sing in the fields...I always thought those songs were beautiful. Lemonade will always be served on the veranda by a large black woman happy to be called Mammy. Thank you, God, all rightfully returned to their place.

What to do with the Asians now that all the railroads are built? NAILS! We all can have a personal manicurist! Well, white people of course. No point in having nice nails to do manual labor. That's a waste.

Tobacco, outta here. Ew, it smells and it might kill someone else. Not like a gun, when you shoot someone they deserve it. Double Amen!

Drinking. YES. For the men, all you want! Feel free to grope all the women while you are drunk cause that is a great excuse. Ladies...boys will be boys. They are going to hump anything with a vagina...they can't help it. Ya'll keep your knees together though unless you plan on a baby coming in 9 months. SEX is NOT fun for women unless they are of that ilk. Praise Jesus!

Gay people. We won't have those. Just make the right choice! We are blessed, Lord.

No ideas. That never works. Stop being progressive when this world is so perfect for white people with money? Dont' rock our boat. Free thought is gone. And God smiled.

Try not to whine about being sick or not having health care. That really brings us down. It is so sad to see those pictures of you covered in filth and flies and dying. Please, we have to eat. Die quietly and in a dark place. Especially you children, my heaven, that's so unpleasant. Jesus wept. He doesn't like seeing that either.

Please if you aren't, you know, right...far right, please, find somewhere else to live. Something more like what Jefferson had in mind. WHAT A SOCIALIST! Freedom and liberty, that is for white rich people. Pursuit of happiness is having the right God. Do it our way. The jails are sooooo full of subversives already!

Thanks,
The Tea Party