SAN DIEGO

My grandmother Murphy used to visit us once every few years. She took the train from Salt Lake to Fort Worth. Then she decided she would fly. We drove to Love Field in Dallas to pick her up and she announced, "Well, helldamn, that wasn't so bad...I might fly again". Miss Forrest must have rolled in her grave. She had met my dad's family early in their marriage. I believe the Murphys thought the Leachmans were snooty and the Leachmans thought the Murphys were heathens. Grand dad Murphy owned a BAR. That must have made Miss Forrest sweat just being in the same town.

The trip Grandmother Murphy flew to visit she had just been to San Diego on the train. She went to see Max and his "new" wife. This was news to me. Max had been married to Ruth for as long as I had heard of them. FAMILY SECRETS! Apparently Uncle Max had married a lovely woman in San Diego when he was still in the Navy. They had a baby girl who died shortly after her brith. The marriage didn't survive. Uncle Max married Ruth, many years older, more than 10 years older, and raised her two sons from her first husband, also dead. Grandmother called them and announced she was coming to visit.

Apparently one afternoon Grandmother called a cab to pick her up at Max's house. She was going to have a visit with Max's first wife. They had apparently stayed in touch and Grandmother really liked her. When the cab brought her back to Max's house grandmother's luggage was packed and on the front porch. Ruth kicked her out. Grandmother never wanted to see her again.

This should be fun! Wonder if we would get kicked out too. Don't mention the first wife....got it. We crossed the state line. We were in California! It looked like a desert. Where is the Pacific? Beaches? Cool cars and surf boards. "When we get to the coast, Linda. California is like every other state until you get to the edge of the continent." I muttered something under my breath. My dad gave me the look in the rear view mirror. I hated that. Getting a lecture from angry eyes in a mirror.

Dad always wanted me to straighten up, be quiet, stop talking, quit complaining, stop asking to change the radio station, etc. The days of the cow game were long gone. I wanted him to think of something FUN to do along the road. I wanted to stop at every single tourist trap. No, not going to happen. Miles, gotta get miles behind us. All through either New Mexico or Arizona or both were huge billboards, "THE THING...come see it". "Is it from outer space?"  "Is it HUMAN?"

"Dad, can we stop and see the THING?". "No, takes too long to stop. It's just something silly anyway".

"Dad, can we stop at the next Stuckey's?". "No, too expensive, they don't have gas, no green stamps, don't need that candy and junk".

"Dad, can we see the grand canyon?" Eyes in the mirror, "do you even know where that is?" "No since I have never been anywhere but Calhoun and Brigham City."  "It is in Arizona, we are in California." "Yes, but we were in Arizona".

"HUSH".

Whatever. I could out pout anyone. I pouted. California was ugly and stupid. We stopped at a service station. Still ugly. Not at all happy with dad. Then again I should be nice. I wanted my day in L.A. It was going to be the coolest day of my life!

By the time we got to Uncle Max and Aunt Ruth's I was the sweet, little daughter. Polite and nice and bored.

I wasn't sure what to expect. Uncle Max and Dad said hello. Max and mom obviously really liked each other. She thought of him as dad's little brother. I thought of him as a Coroner. Brother and I made some polite conversation then Uncle Max gave us sage advice. "Never ride on a motorcycle, that is really hard to clean up. We just call that goo". And, "never ride in the passenger seat in a VW bug. That is the crispy critter seat".

So far this was fun. Very vivid images. Goo and crispy critters. Lord, could I please have a relative in the FUN business? Someone who entertains children for a living or knows the Beatles?

Then there was Aunt Ruth. She was tiny. She couldn't have weighed 80 pounds. She looked pinched all the time. She acted like Uncle Max was her daddy. He cut her meat for her. In public. Really. She was charming and I could not imagine her kicking my grandmother out of her house. Nor could I see my grandmother not telling her off. Maybe she did and I just don't know that part of the story. She reminded me of a Troll Doll or as we called them Dam Dolls. Coroner and a Troll Doll. Creepy.

Day one in San Diego. The bridge table was already set. The grown ups were going to play bridge. The kids were going to do nothing. Great.

Uncle Max kept saying, "I think we can get in another rubber". I assumed that meant something I didn't want to know about or after a rubber we were going to DO something. We did. We had dinner. Little chickens as my dad called them. Cornish game hens. Why? That is a lot of work for very little food. Stupid. I was bored to death.

Day two. Bridge. All day. I wanted to go to L.A. I began to complain to either parent when I could catch one alone. Mom was starting to cave. She didn't love bridge like my dad. "We will do something fun tomorrow". Thank heaven. L.A. tomorrow. That's all there was to do that was fun.

NO. Sea World. This was when they had an aquarium and Shamu. Then Point Loama Light House. Right on the coast. Beautiful. "Who wants to climb the stairs to the top of the lighthouse?" Dad, Max, Brother, Me. I was having some fun at last. Then we got closer to the top of the light house on the spiral stairs that circled up the inside of the structure. The risers are steep and the treads short when you get to the top. Then you step out and see the Pacific Ocean at your feet. Rolling toward you. You can't see the ground, just the rolling ocean.

I learned about vertigo. I had it. Plastered against the wall of the lighthouse I was going nowhere, ever. I couldn't move. Everything was spinning. The ocean waves made the entire earth seem like it was moving under me. GET ME DOWN!  Dad and Max talked to me forever about just backing down to the first step. NO. CAN'T MOVE. REALLY. Dad finally sent Max with Brother and he said to me. "I can't leave you here. Turn around, hold the wall. Slowly step here. Just a few little steps and then we will be on the big steps and you can lean against the wall the entire way". I looked at Dad. He wasn't mad. He was worried. He could tell I was not being difficult. I was paralyzed.

He told me later, years later, that he had no idea my eyes could be so big or my face so pale. He was afraid I would faint and he would have to carry me down that staircase. Still can't do tall places unless I am surrounded by a building.

We were leaving San Diego the next day. We were going directly to L.A. then to Las Vegas! Finally fun and decadence. I couldn't wait.

There is just no end to disappointment sometimes.