I was actually excited to meet Who? After all he was going to be my common law brother-in-law and we could talk about Paul. Who? had spent two tours in Viet Nam and then a few months in Germany before getting out of the Army. He had agreed to the second tour for the bonus money associated with it and this action guaranteed Paul would not be sent there. I felt I owed it to Who? to at least make him feel welcome, introduce him to some people. That was polite and proper and how I was raised. Besides Who? was engaged to a girl in Germany and I was obviously head over heels in love with his brother.
Paul and I sent letters, letters, letters, his were so beautiful. He had a habit of writing and then in parenthesis writing the album or song he was listening to at the time. It made the reading of his letters deeper. Sometimes he just wrote lyrics he loved. I copied this habit and soon our letters looked like:
Today I was driving down Hulen, (white album), and a big dog, (Oh Darlin', killer song), ran out in front of me, (well you know I nearly laid down and di i i i i ied)....you get the idea. His time in the Army was getting shorter. So were his letters. One day I got a letter that was just the lyrics to "Hello, It's Me". Look these up if you do not know them because they still make me cry. Something was off.
Who? and I were hanging out, going to dinner, saw a couple of movies. Then one day he was very sad. Germany girlfriend had broken off their engagement. Now he needed someone to talk to, that would be me. He was nice, I liked Who?. He was funny and charming and well, I felt sorry for him. Viet Nam? I couldn't imagine. I panic if I have a blister. Broken engagement, that hurts. I was his new best friend.
One night we went somewhere, get ice cream or just drive around I don't remember. I was so anxious for Paul to get home. He pulled up in front of my house to drop me off, his house just two door away. He leaned in like he was going to kiss me. NO, I said. I am waiting for Paul. That was creepy.
I had also told my parents about my plans with Paul. The trip to Minnesota, living together, living in SIN. I wanted this over with before he came home. I wanted no arguments between dad and Paul. I thought the world might explode. My parents KNEW the world would explode if I lived in SIN. "Disowned", I believe was the word shrieked by my mother.
A few days later I was invited to THEIR house. Where Paul's family lived. I wanted to vomit from the anxiety. I walked in and his mother started talking about Paul. I was fine. I could talk about him all day. M*A*S*H was on their TV. It was about the Korean War. Paul was in Korea. In my OCD world this was an omen, a meant to be. I looked at Paul's dad and he was looking toward heaven, "please Heavenly Father, shut down this girl's reproductive system", my dad's prayer from a few years back. I could just tell.
Finally, one morning early my phone rang. "I'm home". (THANK YOU GOD!!!). "Come over, now!!!".
34 steps to Paul. To the front door. I was about to cry and laugh and scream and maybe pee. The bell rang and I opened the door.....
There was a man there. He looked sort of like Paul only emaciated. Whoa, I wasn't expecting that.
I LOVE YOU!!! I AM SO GLAD YOU ARE HOME!!!!
I am not sure why but we were alone. Mother was somewhere, dad was at work. We went to my room, my bed and made love. Finally, in my bed. Not the floor, or the sofa or in a car. Here in my bed. Thank you God, my life is just about to be perfect.
I saw Paul two or three more times. He got his motorcycle and moved to a small city near by to live with another brother. He never called or asked to see me. I didn't understand why then but now I realize he had his own demons to face. At the time, however, all I could do was stand in disbelief.
Pardon my French again, but double LeFuck.
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