Things were not going well. I was lost as to why Paul just disappeared out of my life. He certainly looked awful. I wondered if he was sick or suffering from some sort of depression. I was too confused to wallow. Then there was the small issue of my parent's Greek chorus, "told you so, should have married Ringo, you have really made a mess of your life now, you have no future, you are the biggest disappointment in our life".
Who? was still hurting over his broken engagement and continued to want to spend time with me. He didn't really know anyone else. He had not lived in Texas, he was a veteran, lonely and hurt. He had a little information about Paul. Apparently all those beautiful letters, so mystical and full of wonder and awe were drug induced. It seems the best place on earth to get drugs is the Army and cocaine kept you awake to enjoy all the mind altering fun. OH. Still didn't make me feel any better but it did explain his appearance.
Through Who? I continued to hear about Paul. He was in Minnesota on his motorcycle with his new girlfriend. I will call her, HER. OH, so he is taking our trip with HER. That didn't hurt much more that having all your teeth removed without Novocaine. I wanted to die. Who? wanted to get married. What? He thought Paul was a fool to leave someone as wonderful as me. Yeah, me too. He thought I would be a great companion and mother to his children. Yeah, me too. Sure, let's get married.
Now The Beast was choking with laughter. STOOOOOPID. REALLY STOOOOOPID, said The Beast. Then The Beast said something else, "if you marry Who?, Paul will always see what he missed. That horrible mistake he made when he didn't choose you, you could make him sorry FOREVER." "You can raise his nieces and nephews and make him sorry HER wasn't the mother you are." Damn, The Beast, he was making sense.
Who? and I got engaged, with a ring and everything. Our parents were so, proud wasn't the word, dumbfounded was the word. Paul never said a word, he was busy with HER. I was in a very strange world where Erica Kane and Scarlett O'Hara were my mentors. I could make Paul suffer by marrying his brother. NO, that's evil. But.....it had potential. You know that scene in the graduate where Dustin Hoffman pounds on the church door screaming, "ELAINE, ELAINE" and she leaves her husband at the alter and they all live happily ever after? Yes, me too, unfortunately.
In the meantime I had a wedding to plan. Not really plan as I had planned this wedding since 1969 when I first met Paul. It was going to be beautiful and spectacular and every girls dream.
I told my parents about my wedding, the things I wanted, the colors, the dresses, the string quartet, the music, the reception, the band I wanted to play, etc. The next sound I heard was laughter. "Not just no, but hell no", said my dad.
Wedding Planning 101: You will have your mother's wedding the first time you get married. The one she wanted and didn't get. This is passed down from generation to generation.
I began to blame everything on Walt Disney. What was all that happy prince, happy family, beautiful wedding crap about? Walt and I needed to consult on his next "princess" movie. "Life is Nothing Like You Expected and Prince Charming Sucks".
The spiral of my life continued and I was about to make it legal, binding and blessed by the Catholic Church.
help me.
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