It's presidential election season again. The laborious task of choosing our leader is agonizing and expensive beyond words. It is also a ridiculous, out-dated show and tell that makes me question just how far we have not come. Our election process hasn't changed in decades while the world around us has changed dramatically.
Do we really need caucuses and primaries? Do we really need baby kissing and hand shaking to elect someone these days? I don't think so. We have wall to wall 24/7 news channels. We have more debates than we have smart candidates. We have constant ads on television telling us that the candidates are dangerous and evil. We have spewers on television and radio telling us what we should think, how we should vote and to remind us the candidate that they do not support is the worst thing that could happen to America. Billions of dollars are spent on slandering. No one runs on their own record or values when it gets down to the wire. It's all about the other candidate being a gay bashing, woman hating, corporate stooge, socialist who once kicked a puppy.
Why not move this process into the 21st century? For what it costs to get elected in America I bet every candidate could have their own broadcast channel where they could sell their platform and take jabs at their opponents 24 hours a day. That way we citizens could absorb or ignore all the misinformation we choose. This would save a lot of time and money on travel, food, hotels, buses, and security details. Not to mention we would also have an off button.
Those running for office who already hold an elected office wouldn't have to travel all over the nation. They could actually stay in their office and do the job we pay them to do. If Sara Palin can have a studio in her home, then candidates could have one in their office. "Hi nation, here doing my job, working to make your lives better. Remember my opponent used to pop the heads off chickens just for fun! Vote for me".
Caucuses and primaries? Really? Why not let America whittle down the candidates American Idol Style? Call 1-800-Liar, Liar to vote for candidate number one. Call 1800-I'm a Bigot to vote for candidate number two, Call 1800-Stupid to vote for candidate number three, etc.
In addition to using American Idol style voting in place of primaries and caucuses, let's hook up the candidates to lie detectors during the debates. It would make all that pesky fact checking by the "gotcha" journalists so much easier. The needles bobbing up and down on the graph paper during the debate would make a nice window next to the candidates as they tell their version of the truth. Technicians could also make lights and sirens go off during blatant lies.
Party conventions are a relic of the past. Why do we need a week of glad handing, speeches and a pep rally to announce the candidate? We already know the candidates, we have heard all their rhetoric, we know all their sins and have pretty much made up our minds by the time the conventions roll around.
Political conventions were necessary before we had a three second news cycle. When a candidate puts their foot in their mouth at breakfast it is the lead news story by lunch. Let's take advantage of technology in the process of electing the leader of the free world. I personally would rather have a root canal than watch the conventions. They are a waste of time, money and brain cells.
Seriously, this is 1800s style politics with the addition of mass media. Let's make this process quicker, easier and less painful. Candidates can announce in January of an election year, get their studio, broadcast their propaganda, participate in the debates and perform a final dance as they are voted off.
You're Welcome,
Lillybell Blues
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