Todays Body Art is Tomorrows "What the hell is that..."

I was in the ladies room of a local Mexican restaurant washing my hands and trying to decide how best to open the door while still hiding my OCD. I was considering using the tail of my shirt when the door opened. There stood a pretty young woman wearing shorts and a tee almost in tears. I couldn't help but notice the tats that banded both legs from mid thigh up until they disappeared under her frayed cut offs. This is so foreign to me.  I don't like needles so I can't imagine voluntarily stripping down to my skin and offering it as canvas to a person who is "certified" to create said art.  She began pulling paper towels out of the dispenser, soaking them in cool water and placing them on her thighs. "Did you just have those done?", I asked. She nodded as tears started to run down her face. I looked at her toned, colorful thighs, taut and shapely and resisted the temptation to drop my pants and show her what 58 year old thighs look like.

Honey, the tat on your inner thigh that currently reads "I like it when you lick my body" will eventually read, "Ickbod". Allow me to explain. At a certain age a woman's upper thighs begin to reassemble a curtain. The folds of skin almost exactly replicate the way the curtain in an opera house or symphony hall crease and roll as it is raised. I know what you are thinking, "my thighs will never be fat". Good theory. However, it is gravity that you will be fighting. The skin sags, it's a fact of life. Cellulite and natural creases are inevitable too. Someday that cute pixie on your butt is going to look like a scowling gargoyle.

Women whose body art can easily be hidden under clothes you can skip this paragraph. Those of you foolish enough to have tattooed your feet, hands, neck, or face, well, it's going to get ugly. Those tribal bands and Asian symbols you chose so carefully will someday appear  like strange undefined bruises on your skin. A sort of man made melanoma design. Those tats with swirls of color and beautiful scenes will start to look like bleeding madras. Please, be smug now. Show off the tats. Wear them proudly for someday you will be at the pool explaining to your grandchildren why grandma has a wizard melting on her back.

To Warren Buffet I suggest investing in tattoo removal.

To fashion designers and stylists I recommend introducing the American Burqua.

You're welcome,
Lillybellblues